Discovered wife's affair - advice please

[husbandwhowantstostaymarried]

Hello. Never posted on here before.

Married 10 years, two boys at primary school.

Over the past few years I've had job problems and am currently working in Edinburgh from Monday to Friday and am only at home near Carlisle at weekends.

My wife has made a good friend of a man who came to do some work about the house and I know (I have seen emails between them which were subsequently deleted) that they are having a sexual affair. The wording left it in no doubt whatsoever. This has been going on for six weeks and it's clear she loves him and is having better sex than she does with me. It's also clear that he's doing a little bit of the old treat'em'mean act by not responding to all her emails and not always coming round when he says.

My wife talks about this man as if he is a friend and I am trying not to sound jealous. I don't want to drive her closer into his embrace. I want to save my marriage. I am trying to get a contract working nearer home. Wife and me are in our mid-40s, he is late 30s.

Advice, please.

I don't have anyone I can talk to - no close male friends, I can't talk to anyone in my family because I really, really don't want them falling out with my wife (if my parents found out, there would be hell to pay).

Thanks

I was getting a bit cross on behalf of the respondents who offered advice and sympathy Minnie. I seem to have a radar for spotting fakes .

I'd love to know how MNHQ police these things to bust the trolls (wondering if it's by email/IP address and posting under other IDs?)

If you don't want to say anything to your wife, I don't get why you would not tell Bob the Builder you know? This WILL stop it, simple, issue solved or are you enjoying discussing this and doing nothing too much? I really don't get this as the answer for your satisfaction is obvious, you warn him off and it stops and your wife can live in blissful ignorance that you know and no issues need addressing until the next time it happens as she has got away with it once so it will happen again.

I think ip address usually

And other names

How does IP address tell you though? Wish I understood that too.

Ah well see you on another on 50 and all. Was fun! ;)

I think they can tell what ip add is being used so, for example if a previously banned poster comes on using the same ip add they can tell, or if the poster has lots of nc giving all different info on posts from the same ip they smell a rat

Some people have too much time on their hands.

Minnie, an IP address in unique to the computer. So people registering on MN (for example) on the same computer, regardless of what ID they choose or how many different email addresses they have, will still have that unique IP address as an identifier....hope you understand that now .

And yep, see you elsewhere Minnie

Rpitch I can't criticise on that tee hee ;)

Ah thanks fiddy

Well I don't like to say I told you so either fifty but in this case I am happy to make an exception, I was just waiting or the MN message tbh.

Make you right Sparkly! I was reported by a few people and got a stern telling off from MN this morning

Didnt see that coming......not much

I don't read my emails from MN as they go to some unused email account I set up ages ago and rarely check. I imagine there's a few "howlers" in there though .

Although I firmly suspected this was all made up I am disappointed that the OP wasted so many peoples time and sadly there seems to be more and more untruthful threads lately

Fifty, hmmm be interested if the revert back now then only fair after all.....

Has he now nc and started the thread about swinging? Nooo i'm not suspicious of everyone at all...

I was a bit creeped out when he said he "knows" me to be a love,y, kind person . MN deleted it.

"Me too Moomins. I'm frankly appalled at some of the horrid comments to the OP on here."

I was frankly horrified that so many were completely unable to see an obviously fake OP.

And as for those that then not only ignored the advise of, but crapped on the people pointing it out.....

I honestly dont give a shite if an op is genuine or not, what I cant stand is troll hunting. Tell mnhq.

Ive seen more than once on the bereavement threads and its turned out the op has been genuine.

It's reassuring to know that someone is not that much of a walkover in RL.

Agree moomins

So the OP was a fake. No shit, Sherlock.

Am not sure how that explains your own cunty behaviour, fifty

Your personal attacks were worse than some harmless wankers mild cuckold fantasy

Well it's kept me amused for 2 days
I'm pleased the gusset sniffer doesn't exist