Discovered wife's affair - advice please

[husbandwhowantstostaymarried]

Hello. Never posted on here before.

Married 10 years, two boys at primary school.

Over the past few years I've had job problems and am currently working in Edinburgh from Monday to Friday and am only at home near Carlisle at weekends.

My wife has made a good friend of a man who came to do some work about the house and I know (I have seen emails between them which were subsequently deleted) that they are having a sexual affair. The wording left it in no doubt whatsoever. This has been going on for six weeks and it's clear she loves him and is having better sex than she does with me. It's also clear that he's doing a little bit of the old treat'em'mean act by not responding to all her emails and not always coming round when he says.

My wife talks about this man as if he is a friend and I am trying not to sound jealous. I don't want to drive her closer into his embrace. I want to save my marriage. I am trying to get a contract working nearer home. Wife and me are in our mid-40s, he is late 30s.

Advice, please.

I don't have anyone I can talk to - no close male friends, I can't talk to anyone in my family because I really, really don't want them falling out with my wife (if my parents found out, there would be hell to pay).

Thanks

For several reasons, the thread was kept going.

He/she should have been just ignored. By the temper-losers, the troll hunters, the oversharers, the credulous thicko's

everyone

Are we ready for kumbaya yet ? Shall I light the candles ?

"The OP wasn't "rattled" he/she was loving the trading of insults. I am surprised you didn't pick up on that"

Nonsense, it was only the people calling him out who silenced the embarrassing wankfestery for a bit.

Mind you, I'm not surprised that you did pick up on it despite being complete tosh, given that for the last 2 pages you've been attempting to cast yourself as belle of the ball despite arriving 2 days late.

Kum baya.

Please.

What's your part in the panto Janey, Widow Twanky ?

OK. Enough already. If I knew what 'troll hunting' was I wouldn't have done it. Lesson learned. But absolutely, in my defence, this was clearly fake. I got (unreasonably) angry on behalf of the sympathisers and apologise to everyone (apart from OP) for any offence caused. I have posted on other threads in a reasonable and considered manner and hope this has also registered. I have to say I still don't regret calling out this twat and am sanctimoniously & gleefully glad he's busted. Can we call an end to this bickering as he's surely relishing the carnage in the aftermath..... Peace and love to all

Blimey luvs this one was really quite banal. I've been laughing at the attempts at shock but still concerned that well maybe there was a chance. He really didn't do much at all, or am I expecting trolls to be well just more interesting? If that's the fantasy, well, smack me lightly with a kipper as certainly wouldn't get most men I know off or even up.

People really are weird.....

fifty, kumbaya ?

Do you think the fact that she has mentioned him - in a warning way "don't get too close" etc -might be that she wants you to ask her more, and talk about it??? I had an affair that was serious and I left my husband, but while I was in the middle of it, I tried incredibly hard never to mention the other man and was very good at concealing what I was doing. Your wife is not doing this, perhaps it's a cry for help? I do hope so.

"What's your part in the panto Janey, Widow Twanky ?"

Nah, I wanted a bigger part. They gave me both halves of the horse

Peace, Goodwill and Kumbaya all

kumbaya MFC!

maaimy - this is definitely one thread where you might want to rtft

fifty if my memory was good enough to retain posters names I would no doubt have registered you normally sage advice. As it is the chances of me recalling who you are in the next thread is minimal so no worries... as it is I struggle not to call DS by the cats name.

lol janey, bloody hell, both halves of the horse...trying to be head and arse simultaneously...I doff my cap to you! Multitasking aint my strong point

The Festive Season is among us

Ha ha Minnie, I have to agree, as wank fodder, it certainly was pretty weak! But your kipper reference has probably got him semi hard again!

lol KEW @ rtft to maiimy

and thankfully, I am so immemorable as to be rendered anonymous

Tee hee well the beauty of this is he's imagining a lightly 30 ish babe struggling on mat leave.

I won't change that idea hey?! He ain't the only one dabbling in the imaginary....

Cheers all. I've had fun. You've made me laugh out loud.

Happy crimbo to all. Your amaze balls. Hic...

'course they do

the swinging one was another, deleted now

mra? god, I thought the swinging one was suspect too!

What's mra ?

Men's Rights Activists.

I was the OP. I haven't responded before because I got deleted. This is the only post I am going to make.

Everything was true, except that I changed the locations - it wasn't Edinburgh and Carlisle - but the distances were true.

I have found that a lot of people on here were very helpful, Tombakersscarf and ProfessorPlum especially. Perhaps that's because they gave me the kind of advice I wanted to hear.

As for those of you who keep thinking I'm fake, have you any idea how frustrating it is not to be believed when you're looking for help?

Thank you, everyone who cared. I have copied this thread and won't be looking again so don't bother replying.

Well well well

Maybe even suspected trolls get marital issues...

Okaaaaay I'll bite simply coz I was here through nearly 500 other posts.... Hope it works out op

No doubt see you around on another thread eh......