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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Should I be threatened by a vibrator

190 replies

booboo4 · 02/12/2013 20:14

Basically I think I am getting side-lined due to a vibrator and today increased that fear.

To cut a long story short, I have a rather high libido and I am aware of this and try to control it. My GF wasn't feeling great this morning (flu/cold) but I was rather horny. I decided against making this obvious as I could tell she wasn't in the mood....very snappy with me, telling me she feels like crap etc and decided to pleasure myself. Subsequently I have found out she decided to do this to herself aswell after I left for work.

Am I being paranoid, but both of us pleasuring ourselves in the morning at different times surely isn't right. If we both wanted to have that 'sensation' surely we could have shared it...this isn't the first time this has happened.

Any advice would be welcome.

OP posts:
MillyRules · 02/12/2013 21:15

Nothing wrong with a high libido......I think that you just need to talk to her and ask her outright, explaining how you feel. Im sure she will put your mind at rest. Smile

fizzgog · 02/12/2013 21:17

I did this myself this very day! I have some kind of cold.. Intimacy is a shared experience and I didn't feel like I had anything to give this morning when dp made his advances, my head was banging and I just wanted water and ibuprofen.
All day today I spent on the sofa drifting in and out of sleep.. out of boredom I just fancied having an orgasm to relieve the bad feeling, used my vibrator and fell asleep again.
Our sex life is great in general but everything should be in moderation, masturbation is such a different thing to sexual intimacy with someone else.
Its no reflection on you dont be threatened.
It was almost the same escape as eating a pack of biccies with my lemsip.
Don't be threatened and if it's becoming a habit to turn you down maybe broach the subject then.

mammadiggingdeep · 02/12/2013 21:26

Twice no less??

booboo4 · 02/12/2013 21:31

Mistallchuckingfighty - although I left for work early, I work with her and can tell when she's climaxed in the morning so asked her innocently, which she confirmed (I can usually tell when she's had a good time)

I'm not the altering position, checking vibrator etc kind of person, just worried I'm not enough for her and wanted advice.

P.s insinuating she fakes it...doubt it considering what type of relationship I'm in - just believe me on this one.

OP posts:
NoArmaniNoPunani · 02/12/2013 21:38

Not many women orgasm through PIV alone.

booboo4 · 02/12/2013 21:39

Mammadiggingdeep - I make sure she has a good time before me...hope so anyway

OP posts:
mammadiggingdeep · 02/12/2013 21:43

How the hell can you tell she's climaxed by the time she arrives at work?? That is some skill! :)

harticus · 02/12/2013 21:44

How on earth can you tell she has "climaxed in the morning"?!

MajesticWhine · 02/12/2013 21:47

you "can tell when she's climaxed in the morning". OMG - this is absolutely fascinating. How you can tell?

TheDoctrineOfSanta · 02/12/2013 21:49

So, do you ask her every time she looks relaxed, or was it just today and the other times you've seen her relaxed, put two and two together and made four hundred and thirty five?

PosyNarker · 02/12/2013 21:53

Umm, DP would claim he can tell when I orgasm. He can. If I get a little excited when I am not that, he might also think I orgasmed....just saying...

TheDoctrineOfSanta · 02/12/2013 21:57

JazzyCardi, that is creepy. Glad you had words.

OP, this morning you said you didn't even say anything to your GF, as she was poorly. This seems fair. Once she'd had a bit of a rest from her cold, she may have felt better.

MillyRules · 02/12/2013 22:01

NoArmani There are quiet a few of us that do.Smile

booboo4 · 02/12/2013 22:02

Well she has this glow...which I can see/observe. Seen it after we've had intercourse and oral and when she's done it alone

OP posts:
MistAllChuckingFrighty · 02/12/2013 22:03

How strange and wonderful. You can tell she has climaxed in the morning ?

Quite some skill you have there.

MillyRules · 02/12/2013 22:03

Most of us have a flush on the chest, neck and face that lasts quite a while after orgasm.

MistAllChuckingFrighty · 02/12/2013 22:05

So despite feeling snotty, wretched and feeling too rough to get jiggy, she still had that "glow". What a connection you have. I am quite flabbergasted.

mammadiggingdeep · 02/12/2013 22:06

How close do you live to work? She still has the glow?! That is some orgasm!!! What make of vibrator is she using...I need to switch models ;)

TheDoctrineOfSanta · 02/12/2013 22:06

Lasts through getting up, showered, dressed and for work?

I need a new vibrator, clearly!

booboo4 · 02/12/2013 22:06

Hence my post Mistallchuckingfighty...,

OP posts:
MistAllChuckingFrighty · 02/12/2013 22:07

Is this stealth marketing for vibrators ? Grin

mammadiggingdeep · 02/12/2013 22:07

Oh come on milly...yes a flush that might last 10 minutes...bloody hell...that's some flush for the op to look at her at work and guess she must have used her vibrator!!! It was very cold today- perhaps she had red cheeks from the cold air!!!

TheDoctrineOfSanta · 02/12/2013 22:08

OP, how long have you been together, roughly? Do you think it's the seven year itch?

justaweeone · 02/12/2013 22:10

Sorts herself out??

MillyRules · 02/12/2013 22:11

mamma it can actually last a couple of hours sometimes if you have strong orgasms.