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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

I think I'm going to finish with DP

260 replies

Johnny5needsinput · 02/09/2013 18:14

I'm a regular. Please don't out me if you recognise me. I am female the user name is from a film called short circuit.

I'm going to finish with DP. I feel sick.

OP posts:
Katisha · 03/09/2013 10:41

There may suddenly be a grand gesture - red roses say, or perhaps a "crisis', even some sort of illness or even suicide threat. Have seen all these in practice. Treat all with contempt.

SirRaymondClench · 03/09/2013 10:47

Johnny5 you're doing the right thing in ending it.

This man is a cock-fiend.

MissStrawberry · 03/09/2013 10:55

Why does it feel wrong that you haven't heard from him? Why do you care?

Block his number. Delete it too. If it is over it is over and stop giving him anymore head space and phone the insurers to have him taken off immediately.

ouryve · 03/09/2013 11:11

Katisha has it all spot on - I did the unannounced daytime flit on my ex. He had form for all of those things and I didn't want to give him the opportunity.

cloudskitchen · 03/09/2013 11:21

The fact that you haven't heard from him speaks volumes really. I hope that's the last you ever hear from him (though I suspect not). Have you decided to do anything re the locks?

Original poster
Johnny5needsinput · 03/09/2013 12:23

On lunch at work so quickly posting from phone. Still no contact from him. He's off the car insurance and a locksmith is coming tomorrow to change the front door lock.

I'll ring his sister and drop his stuff round there for him. Anything I have at his is small stuff. If I don't get it back I won't be bothered.

OP posts:
TheWomanWhoMisplacedHerHusband · 03/09/2013 12:37

Good for you, op

LadyMercy · 03/09/2013 13:01

Johnny you said earlier that you were constantly worried about doing something wrong on one of his little tests. That he would tell you off. You're probably anxious because you have done something 'wrong' in telling him to sling his hook.

You haven't done anything wrong, you've got a nasty manipulative man out of your life! Hopefully the anxious feeling will fade.

Fairenuff · 03/09/2013 13:39

Ah well, if you had any doubts at all, this current behaviour must be strengthening your resolve, OP.

I do admire the way you are sticking to your guns. I bet he thinks he's in control and you are just waiting for his call.

What he doesn't know, is that, as far as you're concerned, it's over. Done. Finished. Moving on.

Imagine his shock when he eventually tries to call you and you've changed your number. Or comes to the house and the locks are changed. Or gets a call from his sister to say, your stuff is here come and get it.

PopiusTartius · 03/09/2013 13:49

Good work OP. Stay strong.

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 03/09/2013 14:15

I still can't get over the part about re-doing your hair and makeup before sex! Showering, ok fine maybe, DH does if he has been at the gym or working in the garden or whatever, but hair & makeup? WFT? It's like he was trying to make you feel like the natural you wasn't good enough or pretty enough or something.

Twat of the highest order.

bragmatic · 03/09/2013 14:29

You dodged a bullet, my dear. Well done you!

Onward and upward!

Original poster
Johnny5needsinput · 03/09/2013 17:49

Justin from work. Still no contact.

OP posts:
HerdyHerdwick · 03/09/2013 17:55

How do you feel about him not getting back to you? Is it a relief or would you feel better if you'd had a chance to actually spell it out?
Agree with Katisha's post 10.41.35. He may come up with some wild story or grand gesture. I get the impression you won't fall for it, but just be aware to expect something from him.

Lizzabadger · 03/09/2013 17:58

Good. Have you had the locks changed?

Original poster
Johnny5needsinput · 03/09/2013 17:58

I don't care at this point. I'm totally pissed off with him.

OP posts:
Original poster
Johnny5needsinput · 03/09/2013 17:59

Locks are getting changed tomorrow.

OP posts:
BearsInMotion · 03/09/2013 18:11

Good for you Flowers

Original poster
Johnny5needsinput · 03/09/2013 19:06

His sister has rung. He's round at hers very upset. He doesnt know whats going on. I said I was sorry he was upset. That I didn't want to see him any more. She asked me why and I used what someone up thread said that it wasn't working for me any more.

Shaking. Manipulative to the max.

OP posts:
Fairenuff · 03/09/2013 19:09

Oh well done, OP. Fantastic. Just right.

Not sure why he was upset though, as far as he knew, all he had was a message from you to call him. What a baby.

Anyway, 'tis done now. Glad you're getting the locks changed.

Original poster
Johnny5needsinput · 03/09/2013 19:12

He knows damn fine what was coming. He's just playing everyone. Prat. Does he think I can't see right through him? thanks to you lot

OP posts:
Lizzabadger · 03/09/2013 19:12

Don't waver whatever he threatens (and plenty of them threaten suicide) or however much he pleads.

Congratulations for ridding yourself of him. You got out quickly.

Fairenuff · 03/09/2013 19:13

If he's at his sister's can you get someone else to drop his stuff round so that you don't bump into him?

Lizzabadger · 03/09/2013 19:13

P.S. He may stalk you. Don't hesitate to involve the police if this happens.

Original poster
Johnny5needsinput · 03/09/2013 19:16

I could get my best mate to drop the stuff round it really isn't that much. Or just leave it at his sisters on my way to work. She's lovely. I'll miss her. She was my friend at first and that's how I met him.

OP posts: