The thread in which we all pray Johnny depp has signed up to POF - DATING THREAD 17!

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Here we go again....

I had got my head round the FWB thing and then the last maybe three times I've seen him he's said things that have made me think he's more into me than I gave him credit for

My DM and BFF knows about him and his DB knows about me, and he showed me a jokey text the other night in which one of his mates referred to me as his "mrs" but other than that I don't think there is any intention on either side to start introducing family etc. Certainly from my perspective this is more to do with fear of getting hurt and could well be the same for him.

We spent the weekend together last week because we went to a gig together that he'd asked me to weeks ago (a bit prematurely I thought at the time) and I was fully expecting not to make it that far tbh but we did and now I feel I'm in limbo, like I really need to establish what this "is"! Apart from the first month or so when we went on dates, our time together now is spent at mine with drinks, takeaway and fantastic sex! I guess when you've not had it for so long its a novelty but this sort of set up has a shelf life right? We don't make plans, its all a bit ad hoc. We need to have a chat don't we...?

StillGIW, I'm not sure it sounds like FWB - to me it sounds more like the early stages of a relationship.

What exactly do you want from him? I don't mean that in a sarky way - but do you know in your own mind what it is that you want? Do you want him to suggest he moves in with you, or you with him? Do you want marriage, do you want a specified commitment?

If you just want to make plans further in advance, then you are not going to lose face by saying "I was thinking of doing X, would you like to as well?"

I can guarantee there will be no shagging tomorrow, because DS1 is at home (so there will be no bringing date back to mine or anything) and the same applies at the weekend.

I don't know if that's all he wants, who can tell at this stage? If we get beyond a 2nd date, and it happens on the 3rd or 4th or whenever - and then he disappears - well of course I'd be upset. But then there isn't an alternative as I see it, you have to take that risk at some point.

Thanks Post, I think my problem is that I'm maybe scared to see it as anything other than FWB (massive rejection ishoos!). Also my BFF is in my ear telling me that by now x,y and z should be happening but all her relationships have been really full on (usually unhealthily so) and so anything less to her shows disinterest or being used! Sometimes you need another opinion - think I just need to chill about it. The truth is I don't know what I want and I probably would run a mile if he ramped things up! In a way I quite like the ad hoc contact/plans - keeps things fresh and exciting :)

Sponge go with the flow and listen to your gut (hark at me!)

Still, every relationship is different.

I think it's nice to take it slowly at first. You are both finding your ground. And it actually sounds fairly committed if you are spending weekends together.

And unless you are living together, most relationships are a little ad hoc, aren't they?

Lueji you're right. Think I'm listening too much to my friend. She seems to like making me feel bad about it. I think it might be a toxic friendship but thats a whole other thread! From now on, any ishoos or concerns will be voiced here instead. Cheers!

Well this is unexpected...I have another date for tomorrow. So that's 2 in one day

The guy who cancelled on me twice in one day last week has been in contact again and wants to meet me tomorrow for lunch. I suspect he may cancel again (this is his last chance), but it's only lunch, I won't be putting myself out as he's meeting me 5 mins from where I work.

And I still have the evening with the other one.

Yay for Sponge!

I'm expecting you'll have a third second date soon, Sponge. ;-)

Meanwhile, I have had to say no to Mr Rose today and tomorrow.

The long e-mails with Mr Lawrence continue, going into personal stuff and there were texts yesterday.

Now I'm dreading meeting him and getting a cold shower. I did sort of like his looks, but who knows... And he may not like me.
Or worse, run out of conversation...

I must suggest a meeting soon and get it over with.

Go sponge! They're like buses!

Sponge, wow!!! Two in one day :) can't wait for the updates :)

Still, I agree with post, sounds about how it should be :) you should be ripping each others clothes off at this stage, but, you are also doing other stuff, and importantly its not just shagging and then leaving ASAP. It all sounds good to me :)

Hello :)

am v impressed at your dates for tomorrow sponge - you cam compare and contrast afterwards :)

have been getting v bored marking. But more than half way through thank goodness. And Mr Nice and I had been vaguely talking about four poster beds and he sent me an email with a link to a castle with gorgeous looking rooms (the sort you can stay in :)) Four poster beds and big baths and fluffy towels and nice meals and big grounds to walk in and far enough away to feel you're going somewhere but not too far away. I like this idea (and have suggested a suitable date :))

Still I think your friend is trying to justify/validate her own 'full on' relationships

Provided the arrangement that you have with someone is mutually agreeable I cant see that anyone is being used.

I get kinda tired of the unquestioned assumption that humans are hardwired to form monogamous pair bonds...it's not the only route to contentment!

Hi everyone just popped in to say hello, I am still here, just been dealing with some real life stuff. Good luck with everyone who has dates, good luck twice over to Sponge for her two dates! greedy!

Miranda can I just ask you, when you are marking the papers do you have an answer sheet or a guide to the answers, or something? I can't help but be curious

I have a very detailed answer sheet telling me how to give all the half and full marks :) And every so often one of the scripts is a pre marked one and that one has been marked by the chief examiner and my one goes to my team leader. If I;m not close enough to the way they marked it I have to check over ones that either nearly passed or nearly failed again.

I am nearly at the stage of dreaming about the paper . Have got at least half way now though which is good. Will do more later when both DC in bed....

Thank you Miranda It all sounds very intense, and time consuming, and headache causing!

Time you're back! Coincidentally one of my old schoolfriends wrote on FB today 'If you do what you've always done, you get what you've always got' which reminded me that you have given us exactly that advice in the past

My potential dates have come about (I think) because I've firstly been more honest with my age (only a year off now) and also because I've changed my search range to men older than me...the latest 3 (tomorrow's 2 plus the one from the other weekend) are aged 40-45. It may be pure coincidence but I like to think its doing things different that have helped!

Obviously the dates are yet to happen...and not a foregone conclusion til then in my experience! But I will report back tomorrow of course :)

Tis so true though Sponge, if you repeat the same behaviour you will get the same results. And see what happens when you do change things, you get two dates different results! I would also recommend changing your profile pic every week or so, my theory is that different looks will appeal to different men so changing your main pic will attract fresh blood I have tried this and it does work.

The dates will happen Sponge. The next thing you are going to change is you mental attitude, to a positive one!!

You're right about the picture, the one I have now on my POF profile I like but I don't think its my best - yet I have had three times the amount of messages than with any other one, so theres clearly something about it men like!

It is pretty intense and time consuming but tbh it is pretty well paid and it's not as if I am working this hard all the time. And for three weeks of (admittedly full on) work I get enough to keep me going for a while.

Mr Nice has called the castle and they will hopefully confirm it tomorrow :) So in a few weeks time I get to go to a castle with a four poster bed and a large bath .

Better mark some more papers to help pay for it

Evening :)

watch glad everything is going well with MrL

sponge two dates!!! yep, men are like buses Will look forward to the updates.

still stop listening to your friend. Listen to your instincts instead and you'll also get good, impartial, advice on here :)

Miranda did you used to be a teacher before you became an examiner? It is an examiner?

Sponge, ah, kudos for changing things up. The ' do what you have always done etc...' Advice is really good :)
What will you do if the other date gives you a second date too!!! You could end up having further dates with more Than 1 man!!!!!!! :)

Miranda!!!!!!!!!!! Sounds amazing :)

Chaotic, how's things with you?

Mrl just dropped into the conversation how casual sex doesn't, andnever has done it for him, and how he needs to havd an emotional and mental connection.
So, I'm now going to stop thinking it could just be sex :)

Hello all
Good luck with your many dates sponge!
I in theory have a 'date' with my student tomorrow but in true student style he has not yet informed me about timing etc. hmmm.
The question is, when do I crack and text him? We were communicating on Facebook and this is fatal because I can see when he goes online but on the other hand not totally sure he's seen my message! (replying to say tomorrow would be fine after he suggested it, what time etcetc) Hate this stuff....
Am holding on until tomorrow, in the meantime have some other potential plans so could just do those and wait to see if he ever gets back to me!

Ahhhhh, so if it's not just sex, then it must be a relationship watch

Noooooooooo.
Noooooooooooooooooooooo
Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

:)

Snape, there's a thread in Aibu you might Like btw.. :)