The thread in which we all pray Johnny depp has signed up to POF - DATING THREAD 17!

[watchoutforthatsnail]

Here we go again....

Yeah, not impressed on this end either.

The lunch date was for 13:30 and he rang at 2pm to say the meeting had just finished and it would be difficult. Didn't apologise immediately, only after I pointed out that I hadn't had lunch either. Then he did profusely.

Who sets a late time after a meeting that has the potential to run late, FFS?

He was late on first date too. Didn't apologise.

I'm usually easy going, but not particularly about time keeping. I am usually right on or even earlier. My tolerance is of 10 min max, particularly if I am waiting somewhere.

We have rescheduled for tomorrow, for an approximate afternoon time. At least if he is late, I'll have had my lunch.

But I can't see it going much further at this rate.

£100 a minute? £50 well spent for that chap. :)

Ah, ignore me, I was being entirely silly.
( time can confirn this!)
Honestly, this thinking of other people thing is quite difficult after being single for so long

Oooh - good luck Mylittlemiracles . And Mercury. WTAF????

Watch, do you mean him or you?

People can think of other people without being in a relationship.

No, I know. But just planning stuff and things round other people, and their lifes.
When previously, or for the last almost4 years ive just done what the hell I wanted..
To compromise and things is something new. And same for him I think.
( not that I dont think of people, I do, but not as much as fitting into someone else's life regularly, and fitting them into mine)

How come this thread disappeared from the first page?

Anyway, bumping to say that Mr Rose called again and apologised again. But he's only available after work tomorrow. I tentatively said probably ok. Since then I remembered that I can't. DS's contact with his dad is actually preventing me from dating instead of helping.

Anyway, Mr Lawrence seems ok, but a yellow flag was raised as a possible mummy's boy.
OK, for now. I'm not necessarily looking for a husband at this stage.

I have been in contact with my date.

It seems we are still meeting.

I am somewhat that I might actually get a 2nd date, the first one in 4 years. Fingers crossed it actually happens...

of course you are still meeting Sponge:)

I've taken my dating profiles down, the shy/exhibitoist has put me off-think I'll give it a rest for a month or three.
Fwb1 is away on business for a few weeks, fwb2 has been annoying me for a while so I'm undecided about agreeing to see him again.

That only leaves sex with the ex for the next few weeks

oops exhibitionist

mercury I have been disappointed so many times I now automatically expect something to go wrong :)

the exhibitionist sounded a bit of a loser tbh, you are better off without, especially as you have a fwb or 2 in reserve.

Fingers and toes, Sponge.
:)

I do too (expect things to go wrong)

things so often work out badly and leave me feeling an idiot
if someone I like also seems to like me I think there must be something wrong with him
like, I have somehow cast a spell over him which will wear off soon and that'll be the end of it

I try to see the whole sex/dating thing as a sideline and focus on other stuff which I feel more in control of..things that are a more reliable source of comfort/pleasure/feel-good thingy

I hate it when life seems like a rollercoaster, infact I think I'm happiest when slightly melancholy-sounds paradoxical - but it feels calmer

Thanks Lueji

Mercury I often feel similarly. I'm such a fatalist I always expect stuff to go wrong, & I'm usually on tenterhooks til it does.

I also have this odd thing in that getting a lot of attention from men sort of scares me. I was thinking about this earlier. Men properly pursuing me make me feel really uncomfortable & a bit ill...yes, I am strange I know :)

I dont wanna go all 'psycho-analyst' Sponge, but well, if it scares you that might (perhaps) lead you to (in some way) do something to stop men/a man from pursuing you?

I cant say I find pursuit scary..but I get a bit alarmed if a bloke shows signs of outstaying his welcome.
(his welcome extends to the length of time it takes to have sex and a bit of a cuddle afterwards:o )

Mercury you might be right, I tend to think of it more along the lines that I chase the ones who aren't really that interested, but it's quite possible I also subconsciously sabotage things with the ones who do like me, though no idea how I do it!

So Sponge - when are you meeting 2nd date? I've got a bit lost & need to know so that I can be excited for you!

Sponge, so, It's all good then :) is the second date today? What are you doing?

I like being chased :) because then I know I hold all the cards, and am in control. Chasing after someone has never led to anything good, but past the first few dates It's good for it to be mutual chasing I think. If It's all one sided all the Time it creates insecurity I think.

Weekend plans with mrl all sorted after a bit of juggling, and he's cancelled a few of his plans ( even though I was insistant he didn't) because ' time with you is extreamly much nicer'
Pretty much all of sat is to be spent in bed, bar the dinner I'm doing, and then Sunday we are off to the seaside.
Can't wait, wish it was sat now :)

Hello ladies. Can I join you?

I've been lurking with intent for a while but never seem to have the time to post. Anyway today I am off sick today so thought I would finally get this down!

It's both comforting and disheartening to see that I'm not the only one subjected to text etiquette hell! I have been "dating" a guy for 3 months and I still get long gaps between texts (days sometimes) and I still find myself falling into the trap of analysing everything and looking to see who text last etc before I decide to make contact or not.

I think we have fallen into the FWB zone . Sometimes I think I'm ok with this because with two young DC (2 and 4) and a f/t job I don't have much time for a full-on relationship but sometimes I feel like I deserve a bit more. He's not a big texter, which is fine, but I do find myself questioning at times whether he's uber-laidback or just "not that into me". In person he does seem very affectionate though which makes me think I've got him all wrong.

I think he's basically Mr Right-now and not relationship material but he's very guarded (as am I - not a good combo!) and we haven't had an exclusivity chat or anything . Maybe he's just my "get back on the horse" guy.

Don't really know where I'm going with this - think I just wanted to share my experience/get this off my chest! Sorry for the first post ramble

Mercury, oh, I had the thing about men outstaying their welcome. I once dumped a fwb because he brought an overnight bag!!!!

But, with mrl I don't get that, at all. His stuff around doesn't bother me, he was going to leave two of his guitars ( he has 35!!!!) Here for a week or so, didn't bother me at all.

So, its weird

Still- hi, welcome, and just jump in :)

I think the thing is, you have to work out what's good for you. If you are happy with it, then It's great, but if It's causing angst, then maybe you aren't happy.
Has nothing really come up in conversation, regarding exclusivity? Nothing at all? Any talk of future plans? Has he told people about you? Have you told people? What are you spending your time with him doing?

The texting thing is difficult. Mrl is the first one ive not worried with. He texts first, 99% of the Time. Usually on his first break, if not by lunchtime.
Monday when I got out of my meeting I had 4 texts from him :) one really long one, then 3 short ones of stuff he forgot to put first. Sometimes I send a ton in a row, it doesn't seem to matter who sent what to who last.

But this is the first time ive had this happen in 3.5 years.

My date is tomorrow evening - I found out yesterday have to be here this afternoon for a work meeting so couldn't take the time off. As to what we're doing, I have no idea - the only real options round where I live are to go for a drink or something to eat. but I find eating in front of men difficult so that knocks out that option...so looks like being the pub again.

I am trying not to get overconfident about it actually happening (for fear of jinxing it) but I feel a bit more cautiously optimistic, I remembered that on Sat in a break between snogging he was asking me about contraception - when I asked why he said 'oh just planning ahead'. So maybe he's not about to disappear at least not til he's got a shag out of it anyway

watch your weekend sounds great - enjoy :)

still i can relate to what you're saying. Assuming I do actually get beyond a 2nd date with this one, I think he is also more of a Mr RightNow than Mr Right. In your situation, as you say with work and 2 young children that may not be a bad thing, so long as you dont invest too much in it emotionally. For me, it's been so long since I had a Mr Anything that I think I need the practice of dating beyond a first date. Much as I want a proper fall desperately in love kind of relationship, it seems unlikely that I'm ever going to find that again!

Sponge,would you be ok if it was just sex that he wanted? Ans he vanished after? Not saying he's going to, just, you know...

And, I totally forgot, mrl said yestetday, when we were making weekend plans, that he did want to do other suff too, as to him ' are more than just a girl who likes Fucking'.

So, that's good, yes? Clears up the whole, it might only be sex thing? Or is that me taking it the wrong way?

Sponge, If you like him & think you may want to see him & not just have casual sex with him, then don't shag him tonight. Not that I'm suggesting that you are intending to, but if he asked you about contraception on a first date, then I'd be wary of what he is looking for out of this.

You know, I have no issues with one night stands or casual sex - but if you are looking for something more than that - just go carefully with this one.

Sponge,would you be ok if it was just sex that he wanted? Ans he vanished after? Not saying he's going to, just, you know...

And, I totally forgot, mrl said yestetday, when we were making weekend plans, that he did want to do other suff too, as to him ' are more than just a girl who likes Fucking'.

So, that's good, yes? Clears up the whole, it might only be sex thing? Or is that me taking it the wrong way?