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Original poster

Support thread for survivors of childhood sexual abuse PART 7

999 replies

CailinDana · 19/06/2012 21:59

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6

The purpose of these threads is to allow survivors of childhood sexual abuse, their partners, friends, or parents, to talk in a safe place about what they think and feel. Nothing is off limits or taboo, just say what you want to say.

OP posts:
dottyspotty2 · 08/07/2012 12:40

Little Aillidh lost her fight for life last night Natural, Paul DiResta's from Bathgate neat Edinburgh have a photo of him on the trailer from last year not brilliant though.

NaturalNatures · 08/07/2012 13:28

Oh god, I'm so sorry, I don't know them and felt it would be a bit weird to publicly get involved but have been quietly sending wishes to them and others, so so sad :(

I've not really followed f1 as much whilst recovering from my breakdown, not like I used too so catching up. I've managed more races this year than last year. Will have to keep an eye on DiResta, only way is up , I used to go to the race tracks up there all the time. Mind you I've been to a few all over think it's cos I can't drive

dottyspotty2 · 08/07/2012 13:44

Her mum is on a fb support group for parents of sn/sick kids so I've followed from the beginning some members know the family personally but not me. She's out of pain and no longer suffering now x

NaturalNatures · 08/07/2012 17:18

That's true Dotty, I watched my gran die from cancer last year, awful, so sad for her family and other families going through the same.

Hope everyone's ok? We're watching the tennis, such a good game, top tennis talent.

NaturalNatures · 08/07/2012 20:10

How is everyone?

dottyspotty2 · 08/07/2012 21:00

That must of been hard Natural my dad died 6 years ago heard he had cancer in january he went on good friday broke my heart and we weren't close god knows why.

Spent this afternoon raking through paperwork looking for my birth certificate to get a copy of it and send it to DC she phoned this morning the court wants a copy not to send original in case it gets lost was nice to speak to her she's so friendly, bag of shredded paperwork to go recycling as a result.

NaturalNatures · 08/07/2012 22:18

I know, it's heart breaking when people die.

Good she told you to send a copy, never let the real one out of your hands, someone managed to lose mine on the way to a photocopier Hmm fortunately it was my spare :o

dottyspotty2 · 08/07/2012 22:54

Found DS's oops he's now got 2 was in abox which I was convinced only had photo's in

Amitolamummy · 08/07/2012 23:54

I've completely lost track of this thread but just popping by to say hello :) Hope everyone is ok.
I'm having counselling for the worst bits of my childhood, the bits I wanted to hide from, but clearly can't. It's crap and I would rather not deal with it, but its already happened and nothing will change that so I guess its best to just accept and deal with it.
For the first time ever, I've had lots of memories come through and relived things that I had blocked out, with no anxiety, no panic attack, no depression, no problems at all in fact. I've cried, i've been a bit angry and i've dealt with it really well. I'm so happy about that as I spent many years feeling like suicide was the only option if I was to confront this part of it.

dottyspotty2 · 08/07/2012 23:57

Sounds like you've got a good counseller forgive me if I'm wrong but was it you who had the counseller who wouldn't let you talk about it all properly.

Amitolamummy · 09/07/2012 00:15

No not me, I remember that though. I can't remember who it was but remember advising to change counsellor. I experienced a lot of that when I did my training. I was very upfront about my past and would happily mention it. Far too many people who were training to be counsellors couldn't handle the topic. It's really bad seeing as an awful lot of people who seek counselling have been abused.

Anyway, how's things Dotty? Are you still waiting to hear?

dottyspotty2 · 09/07/2012 00:22

Yes I am spoke to her today got 7 weeks before the PCMH yet started at a new counsellor last week she seems really nice she wants to see me weekly already says she see me through to the end even though I might repeat a lot, she says I need to do that. Only charging minimum charge as well not checked my finances out. Realised I couldn't carry on running away all the time and needed to start dealing with it intrusive thoughts where destroying me.

NaturalNatures · 09/07/2012 00:23

Hello again Amitola, glad to hear things are going good.

I agree with the councelling problems, I met a trainee councellor socially and just wanted to bang my head on the desk as she was talking about doing leading questions and videoing sessions. Anyway.

I'm a long running poster with many name changes.

NaturalNatures · 09/07/2012 00:25

Dotty, I was meaning to ask, do your councelling records get used in court?

dottyspotty2 · 09/07/2012 00:28

No they don't not sure if they where recorded even ones from nhs might be used as they asked for them but anything said at crisis centre are confidential I asked the only time they inform anyone is if a child is at risk.

dottyspotty2 · 09/07/2012 00:30

Nhs are down as medical records as well as my parents knowing all this time yet she's denying any knowledge of ever being told.

NaturalNatures · 09/07/2012 00:32

Can nhs records get used in court?

Amitolamummy · 09/07/2012 00:34

Oh thats great Dotty. Not great that you need the counselling obviously, but that you've found someone good and affordable. Still got my fingers crossed for you as regards to court.

Hi NN, I thought that might be you :) Yes sadly, the training for counselling doesn't cover abuse until you reach the third year and you can qualify after two! That's with the people I trained with, but i'm pretty sure that abuse is looked at as an extension of training in general.
1 in 4.. 1 in bloody 4. Arghhh!! When will they se the link and when will they understand that many people keep it hidden for many many years.
Sorry went off on one there, but it really bugs me that we are seen as a minority when really we are not at all.

dottyspotty2 · 09/07/2012 00:34

Builds a stronger case against him but not sure about whether they'll be used in other ways I gave permission for there release.

NaturalNatures · 09/07/2012 00:35

nhs psychiatric records? just my team have barely recorded anything, just wondering if they knew before I disclosed and have recorded little incase it gets pulled?

dottyspotty2 · 09/07/2012 00:36

Forgive me for being thick but 1 in 4 what.

dottyspotty2 · 09/07/2012 00:39

I was under 18 at the time don't know if it makes a difference I do intend to get any copies myself from 17-23 so I can be sure they only got stuff from 88 as I never told them about my later counselling from 93-95

NaturalNatures · 09/07/2012 00:40

Amitola, this persons training was scary from an abuse survivors perspective, smacking kids acceptable, abuse is a secret to keep.

Hope you're ok with me.

Dotty, do you have to give permission for them to be released or can they see them without your permission.

NaturalNatures · 09/07/2012 00:42

1 in 4 is the amount of girls/women sexually abused.

dottyspotty2 · 09/07/2012 00:43

No you have to sign release forms my gp gave more than was asked DC asked for the letters I showed her GP sent her all my gynae records. I just initialed the form to say it was additional information required.