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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Support thread for survivors of childhood sexual abuse PART 7

999 replies

CailinDana · 19/06/2012 21:59

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6

The purpose of these threads is to allow survivors of childhood sexual abuse, their partners, friends, or parents, to talk in a safe place about what they think and feel. Nothing is off limits or taboo, just say what you want to say.

OP posts:
OlympicMarathonNCer · 24/06/2012 23:28

I meant to put :( not :o

OlympicMarathonNCer · 24/06/2012 23:30

Do you have an essay to finish? didn't do uni so don't know what it entails

Offred · 24/06/2012 23:31

Ha! Going to bed now... Stupid assignment, still not done.

Offred · 24/06/2012 23:32

It is a pigging legal research assignment about eu law... Sooooo complicated! Soooo much reading! Stupid thing but not due in till 4th just know I will take a long time to do it.

OlympicMarathonNCer · 24/06/2012 23:49

Good luck, you can do it! brains little and often?

whydoialwaysgetitwrong · 25/06/2012 09:42

Just a quicky have a million things to do in 2 hours, but I had to share as it is something nice.

DC was with dad for night and as usual was sending me a million links to things they just "had to have" on FB.

I have the usual, we cant afford £40 t-shirts and stop spending all your money on junk and you could have them spiel. Instead of sulking, DC said, "I love you mum", wow.

They said they can live without clothes (which may be a bit of an exaggeration) but they cant live without family, so they thought they'd say they love me, made my heart melt.

dottyspotty2 · 25/06/2012 10:14

Whydoi that's lovely to hear I'm just up not doing much today got home just after midnight DS seems to have every dish in his room and fridays dishes are still lying. Got to go to get euros today for DD1's birthday as long as I do that and house I don't care.

Offred · 25/06/2012 10:26

Lovely whydoi xx

Dotty, take it easy on yourself. X

All my children are vomiting! Confused

dottyspotty2 · 25/06/2012 10:41

DD2's friends mum and dad met me 10 minutes off the motorway last night got given flowers and chocolates for taking her thought it was really nice she's a lovely girl.

Offred · 25/06/2012 11:01

That's really sweet of them! Smile

OlympicMarathonNCer · 25/06/2012 12:24

Aw Offred, hope they're all ok.

Whydo, obsessive clothes buying can be a survivor habit I do it but it's good they said I love you. One way to get round the obsessive clothes thing is to get them to be picky about stuff, ie an imaginary challenge to pick a dream outfit for a special occassion.

Dotty, how lovely of your friends.

OlympicMarathonNCer · 25/06/2012 12:56

Bloody pita children, for months ds has stated he needs new school troos, I'm ok but you'll have to come shopping with me, ok but I can't because I have to see me mates. This has been going on for MONTHS.

I've given up, got 2 pairs on tick, given them too him, last week and he hasn't even tried them on!!!! argh

CailinDana · 25/06/2012 13:00

Afternoon all.

Olympic, I had to laugh at your description of your son Grin typical teenager!

DS and I are not long back from toddler group, he's asleep, I'm chilling. Feeling quite tired today but ok otherwise.

How is everyone?

OP posts:
OlympicMarathonNCer · 25/06/2012 13:11

:o staring at 2 pairs of troos abandoned in a heap. The only problem is I don't know if they fit so might end up with a pile of black trouser breeding like rabbits.

I am contemplating grabbing him when he comes home and putting the dang things on him myself, I'm hoping the "threat" works. What do you think? I swear teenagers are worse than toddlers, you can't bloody catch them :o

Glad you had a good day Cailin, swop joking

dottyspotty2 · 25/06/2012 13:30

Does he not finish shortly

OlympicMarathonNCer · 25/06/2012 14:04

yep, 2 weeks

OlympicMarathonNCer · 25/06/2012 14:53

forgot to go to psych because I was moaning on mn about bloody troos Blush imposes self ban

OlympicMarathonNCer · 25/06/2012 17:41

troos gate is over, not a threat needed just a have you tried the troos on yet

dottyspotty2 · 25/06/2012 17:47

Will you be able to get another appointment with missing one I know some areas don't allow it

OlympicMarathonNCer · 25/06/2012 18:26

Yep, got another one no problem, I remembered 10mins before the end, everyone had a little chuckle and it's all sorted dizzy mare

whydoialwaysgetitwrong · 25/06/2012 21:56

Argh I just want to pull the pillows over my head.

Middle DC has had 5 meltdowns today, each one of 45 or more minutes.

Youngest has taken over 2 hours to settle to sleep, has decided that there is a monster in the house, well she almost got that right, just a few years too late for anyone to realise.

Middle DCs school has let me know they cant put him in class with the one child he knows who is going there, as the class lists are done (FFS he isnt going til September is it so hard??). This is despite me explaining the situation re tantrums, meltdowns, the family therapists thoughts that this is down to the degree of change in his life and some continuity would be good for him.

He shouldnt even be going to that school, he should be here, with all his friends, but that is no longer appropriate.

If they can do something to ease this period for him, and us, why not just do it. Yes they have lots of these sorts of requests, but how many families are there in our position, not many Im sure.

They asked if we had a social worker, ha, fucking ha, SS dont seem to care at all about our family, they abandoned us with no help after a meeting lasting less than half an hour.

I am *SO SICK TO DEATH OF ASKING FOR HELP AND MEETING WALLS OF BUREAUCRACY AT EVERY TURN, OF PEOPLE MAKING SYMPATHETIC NOISES BUT PUTTING THE WELFARE OF MY CHILDREN UNDERNEATH THEIR NEED TO TICK THE RIGHT BOXES ON THEIR PAPERWORK".

Sorry for shouty capitals. Im just so sick of having to fight for help all the time. God I would LOVE to be a normal family, with normal issues.

I could weep with it all, constantly.

whydoialwaysgetitwrong · 25/06/2012 21:58

Olympic, its not just clothes, its anything DC thinks will ease the pain, I was getting everything, but it simply couldnt continue, I just dont have the money.

whydoialwaysgetitwrong · 25/06/2012 21:58

Dotty, thats really nice.

dottyspotty2 · 25/06/2012 22:09

Well back to square one here tonight had a blow up this morning with DH for buying me 2 dressing gowns told him I don't need him to but me anything had a go at me cause i've been moaning my belt was missing from my usual one and I have blamed him cause it went missing when I wasn't here.

He came in the night are you better now he asks says I've had a face like a smacked arse all day and its the same everytime I see my sisters had a fabulous time with her yesterday and with the wee yin. Also says I should be happy as larry now and to get into my head its not my fault I FUCKING KNOW THAT told him I'm off after DD1's birthday meal not coming back had enough.Sad

OlympicMarathonNCer · 25/06/2012 22:36

Whydo, so sorry you're struggling with the powers that be can't spell buracracy?

I know your dc is trying to anything to heal the pain, I also know what it's like and how I learnt to control the compulsion. I do stuff like scrap books of things I want to buy and files on the computer of things I want. It helps to control the impulse.

Dotty, so sorry you're going through this. What would you plan to do after leaving?

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