Dating, Loitering and Sofa Surfing, It's All Happening! Dating Thread 16.

[TimeForMeAndDD]

In continuation from previous thread:

Watch do not talk exclusivity until you have assessed the contents of his trouser department after the 5th date. Only after you have assessed the contents of his trouser department the 5th date do you decide whether or not the willy he is worth the commitment.

And yes, of course you go on Friday!! What on earth are you thinking woman! Today you were the BOSS of a coconut shy, a few of his friends will be nothing compared to that!

I've got to go make coffee, I've just watch Paying it Forward and I am in bits! BITS!

If I could get my hair to grow past the middle of my back I'd have it that long, and I'm a lot older than you, but I love long hair :)

And you're right, crushes are great. I love the anticipation. Even if nothing comes of it with door man although I sincerely hope it does

Maybe he is saving ejaculation for date 5??

Sorry but...

watch just enjoy it for now, try to stop analysing too much and go with the flow for a while. The amber alert isn't a bad thing so long as it's able to go both ways iyswim. Spend time getting to know him having fabulous sex and work out what you want later when you know him a bit better.

Meant to say that, as you've said, this is the first time in years that you've had this many dates with the same person. It's new and slightly scary because it's new. It's a bit like travelling to a place you haven't been to before, using a route that you've never been along before, it's lovely and exciting but you're still a little worried because it's unfamiliar and you're worried that you may just take a wrong turn along the way. Familiarity is safe and comforting but if you want to get to that exciting new destination then you have to take the unknown route.

Wrt long hair, mine always seems to grow just past my shoulders and then stop.

Watch, sounds fabulous. Amber alert is healthy, keep that going just a little bit, nothing wrong with caution

I dated a man in my late teens who was in his late 20's - he rarely came, all pleasure was focused on me, I look back at him as one of my best lovers ever (and there has been a lot)

Sponge, you sound like you are on the up again, which is great to see. Hopefully doorman will be all you wish for, so enjoy the flush of a crush

I spent the night with hotbutdim, did the walk of shame at 5am but it was a lovely night, just wish I liked him in a relationship way and not a FWB way cos he is so lovely

MrBigandConfused has been deleted this morning, I text him yesterday and no response so deleted his number this morning. I'm not going to mess around with people who have no manners

ooohh chaotic - you went all deep there! but i do know totally what you mean. I had a wobble yesterday afternoon and nearly cancelled, its far easier and safer to stay on the path that i know, you know.
and its taken years to get my hair this long, though until recently did have it cut every 8 weeks..... DD's hair is the same lenght too, i should sort hers out. esp since ive grown my fringe out and so has she, else its mother/ daughter matching hair, and thats not good!

mrs cello - yep, it was that. all focused on me. All about me. totally. essentially im not going to complain about this.... :) :) :)
Well done for deleting bigandconfused, not worth the hastle, and hotbutdim is long running, isnt he.... no chance at all of it being anymore?

im leaving work in an hour, i need to put clean bedding on. such an awful mess last night, (i had to sleep in dds bed) hoover, shower, shave legs and stuff, deliver a tent, and then pick him up at 5:15. apparently he doesnt want food. im channelling bridget jones when i say i have given up food in favor of sex.

I do like long hair but cant keep it so short for now.Have fun watch
Mrs cellop,onward onward no time wasters.

Hello everyone. Good luck with your date Watch - hope it is lots of fun!

Well, my dating of MrMusic has come to an end. Got a mega long message from him today (which I shall abbreviate), saying that he met an old school friend at a Jubilee school reunion and he felt a huge connection with her & wants to date her, so he can't date me!!!!!!!

Even though I wasn't sure I fancied him, I never in a million years thought he'd bloody blow me out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Have bruised ego now.

Postbell.really sorry u had to go through this,is his lost and u deserve better.move on and just put to experience.

Watch - he sounds great where did you meet him?

I have no idea how to stop sleeping with complete strangers, i don't think it will ever be out of my system until I have someone that I can sleep with when ever I like as in at least a couple of times a week!!! I have been doing this for nearly 2 years now they average out at just less then one per month! Sometimes I don't do it for a couple of months then it could be 3 random people in one month. And that's not including my fwb!

I need a new fwb but where would I get one that I can feel that comfortable around? It has taken me 8years to feel ok about my fwb that I have now!!! Ahhh it's a mess.

And the worst thing is I think I want a relationship but when I meet a guy that seems like he wants that too I feel freaked out!

Postbell: It stinks. Even when you are not 100% sure its horrible. Some people have this ability to discard and move along and it feels so ruthless.

Notsure: If its not making you happy then you need to stop. I think take small steps and put in some filtering barriers before you make the leap to sleep with these people. You know that you wont be missing out on too much, in the majority. It has been said on this thread before: set what you want and dont accept less.

Watch: that is some lovin' yawl getting!

Mrs C - love the walk of shame. Your attitude is something I would like to adopt

MLM - how are you?

No news from me. Chatting to a couple on POF. Who knows.
Ive been keeping off radar a little too as my friends were sapping me somewhat. 2 male friends constantly updating me on their love lives 1- hopelessly in love 2-tragic case and just dumped. I have decided to eliminate both for the time being. Also some female friends whose self absorption was getting me down

Thinking of joining a rambling group as I love walking and my 2 walking friends have problems with their feet and backs retrospectively.

notsure well just friends went back to his wife. But oh well.

the ex well phoned solicitors this morning and they ate sorting the paperwork to get an affadavit for my divorce. The ex was devious and got ny best friends daughter to accept him under a fake profile and posted on her status a message to me. Grrr angry.

I am coping. No longer feel so angry but still on alert. Just in case sooner the divorce comes the better

Hugs MLM. Stay strong. Your ex is devious - but you are doing all the right things.

Thanks for sympathy Sunshine & FeelingLonely. I'm fine really - just going for the sympathy vote! . A tad stunned really, as he seemed way keener than me. Anyhow, saves me having to worry about him trying to snog me!
Out on the tiles tonight as DCs are enjoying a few days with their granny during half-term. I'm sure a few glasses of bubbly will make it all better.

NotSure - sleeping with strangers is only a problem if you think it is a problem. Clearly, it is probably not brilliant from a safety perspective - but one night stands in themselves are not wrong. I went through a phase (for a whole year, so quite a long phase) of doing something similar when I first started dating again after splitting up with ex-H. It felt like something I needed to do & then I needed to stop. Maybe you just haven't got to the need to stop place yet?

snail - this is probably obvious but it could just be that your new guy has had a lot of sex...I dated a sex addict for a while and he'd had that much sex that he kind of got desensitized to it all...he was brilliant in bed (so far as I has concerned) but took a lot for him to come.

notsurewhy - how do you get over the sex-with-strangers emotionally? I can't seem to help attaching and inevitably when they don't want to know afterwards it leaves me feeling worse than before. I have a massive sex drive and ONSs or even finding a FWB would be a great solution to this whilst I find a regular relationship (oh to have someone I could have sex with every night!). But I can't get over the next-morning sadness :(

I am trying to stay strong and you guys really do help. I know I am doing the right thing having no contact, but it is hard reading that rubbish.

Sun - its not making me happy and I really want to stop big when I do stop its only for a little while before I get in the same situation again!!

Mlm - I had no idea just friends was married! Did you know that? Or was that a surprise to you? Well done for sorting the divorce papers etc, it needs to be done!!! xxx

Post - I feel like I need to stop, the problem is with the guys I have slept with most of them I wouldn't sleep with if I was sober! So I feel embarrassed and rubbish the next day and can't chuck them out of my house quick enough some of them

Single - I don't feel emotionally attached to them, if i did possibly the sex would feel better?? Most of the guys seem quite keen after and text or call but I don't want to see them again and have to tell them that without seeming like a user and evil woman

There was one guy that I really fancied but he never called me, but I don't remember if I gave him my number or not but he seemed to think he had it! So I guess what goes around comes around!!

But before I broke to with dds dad nearly 2 years ago I had slept with very few people and would have probably judged someone that behaves the way I do now!!

notsure maybe stopping the drinking would be a starting point to stopping the casual sex? If you wouldn't choose to sleep with them when you are sober then maybe the alcohol is causing you to make choices you wouldn't normally make. I have to very careful when drinking as one glass of wine goes straight to my head and does in fact make me want sex, even Shrek's brother can look sexually attractive after a glass of wine. That's why I tend to stick to soft drinks

.I was told he was separated and living at his mum's, which was very believable. (stupid me emoticon) so wasn't news to me, just he was getting a divorce (stupid me for believing) still on the upside I don't see/speak to him any more.

Time - I may had a few of shreks relatives myself

I think the drinking is a massive part of it! But a couple of weeks ago u went out and I was drinking, but felt totally I control and aware of what was happening and didn't black out at any point and I still slept with a random guy that I didn't fancy! Just co he was there

notsure I wonder if sleeping with the randoms just makes you feel better at that particular moment? Alcohol is a depressive so at the time you are drinking maybe it lowers your mood to such a state that you feel you need the sex? Just a thought I know in my case it just makes me want it! It starts with my lips, they start to tingle and I desperately want to kiss, and then it goes from there. I have to go home

notsure. I used to sleep around quite a lot, did a bit of it after the kids dad left, just to feel 'attractive' but quickly realised i was seeking justification in my attractiveness by shagging around. I used them. They used me. I did a lot of emotional work on why i felt i needed to shag around and came to the conclusion that i was worth more than presenting myself As a a sucession of holes for some random guy to stick his cock in. I tend to think of ONS in a similar way to any addiction, you feel great at the time, but frankly you dont care who you fuck, they probably dont care who they fuck, which doesnt give me any kind of validation at all...and the come-down either leads to seeking similar validation... Off of someone you actually dont fancy. That makes sex a recreational slapping together of body parts, rather than something intimate with someone you might have feelings for. Both kind of have their place, but i'm more in the mode of the intimate expression than 'any cock will do' (i'm pretty certain thats an andrew lloyd webber song...)

So, apply a traffic light checkpoint system. Just before you lurch off into the night, Red light anyone you wouldnt fuck without a few bicardi breezers helping you along the way, amber light is a swapping or numbers, see him when you are sober and then decide and green light is johnny depp, in any circumstances whatsoever.

Time you light weight

With me it can vary, I can feel tipsy/drunk after a few drinks sometimes yet at others it doesn't seem to have an effect. When I went out for my birthday last year I had 7 double southern comforts with lemonade and I didn't feel the slightest bit drunk.

Post you've probably had a lucky escape but it's still shite when they are the ones to end it, even if you're not that into them.

Notsure I'd stop the drinking for a bit, or at least cut down the amount. The problem with alcohol is that even if you're not drunk it will lower your inhibitions.

MLM stay strong, surround yourself with friends for support. Make new ones that aren't connected with your ex so you have someone to talk to who is totally on your side.