Dating, Loitering and Sofa Surfing, It's All Happening! Dating Thread 16.

[TimeForMeAndDD]

In continuation from previous thread:

Watch do not talk exclusivity until you have assessed the contents of his trouser department after the 5th date. Only after you have assessed the contents of his trouser department the 5th date do you decide whether or not the willy he is worth the commitment.

And yes, of course you go on Friday!! What on earth are you thinking woman! Today you were the BOSS of a coconut shy, a few of his friends will be nothing compared to that!

I've got to go make coffee, I've just watch Paying it Forward and I am in bits! BITS!

Time is, as always right you do deserve it after all your effort Watch :)

Snape well done re low carb/no alcohol regime! I really need to get back on the healthy eating wagon, I literally cannot stop eating crappy food at the moment, need to find some willpower from somewhere...

Better news, I almost have a date :) with the one I actually wanted a date with. Mr Single for longer than me. He is stupidly good-looking (can already see this headed for disaster cant you?!) but seems rather modest and his job suggests he must be a decent person. And he thinks I'm gorgeous.

Now we just need to arrange a time to meet, slightly hampered by the fact he works weekends, and lives miles away. Oh well, wheres theres a will etc!

Hurray Sponge! Yes, get working on a plan, for where there is a willy, there is always a way!

he sounds just the ticket Sponge, will you be able to meet him somewhere halfway, or is he happy to travel?

Last weeks coffee date is due round my place tomorrow afternoon, for a 'getting to know you' session at least I think thats the plan.

I'm feeling pessimistic, a mild dread even, it'll be rubbish and I wont want to do it again, or it'll be really good and I'll desperately want to do it again and he wont.
I dont know which is more painful...infact the whole damn thing is mildly torturous, I'm only looking for another fwb to dilute the pain of being smitten with the existing fwb

Time

Am getting slightly over-excited about this. Must calm down, he is JUST a man. Albeit a terribly attractive one. And odder than him wanting to meet me, he can't understand why I would want to meet him.

:)

I'm hoping he will come down here, if not we are opposite sides of London so could meet somewhere central fairly easily. Just need to agree a day first!

mercury it's hard isn't it. I tend to find the ones I like don't like me much (or don't want to see me again) or vice versa. but this all has to change sometime :)

well I'm not holding my breath...he's just texted that 'we're both going to be a bit shy and embarrassed'
I suddenly feel like cancelling, I'm a bit reserved with people at first and I dont think I can cope with a man who's going to be 'shy'
whats the matter with him, is he deliberative trying to put me off

I think he might be pissed, his grammar has gone to pot..now he's probably going to confess some sexual dsyfunction or something

cant help thinking it's a bad sign if a man admits he's nervous about sex

@Mercury I think it's quite nice that he wrote that - sort of acknowledging in advance that there might be some awkwardness so that you can both laugh about it when you meet and break the ice that way. That's how I'd read it personally.

Now, now Hatesponge, think glass half-full. He sounds lovely, you lucky thing.

If you are both a bit shy, there's probably less risk that one will overwhelm the other.
Maybe you will actually feel more confident if he is shy. :-)

Around here, getting past the hornyness, and analysing what went on on Friday, I'm having second thoughts. I'm not sure I want to be with a man who goes from zero to 100 in a few minutes.

Meanwhile Mr Polite is back at work and has sent his contact again.

I haven't seen a picture yet. I hope he's not horrible. :-)

thanks for your comments & insights Crikey and Luegi:)
I'm really not sure what I'm gonna do, I think I'm in the pmt zone and seeing everything through the black window...and it's very easy to read texts the wrong way.
I guess I should at least sleep on it!

and was that the guy with too much tongue Lueji?

Yes.
I'm wondering if he thinks I'm only after sex.

I had one ask outright last night. No photo, so maybe that's a clue. Learning curve.

Might need to revisit my profile and include a disclaimer. :-)

Some male profiles actually do that.

Some men actually do that.

sponge so pleased that things are working out the way you want them to. Now stay positive and stop working yourself up into knots about things that may never happen. Remember how watch was when she was first in contact with Mr Lovely and how she is now.

mercury so you're a bit reserved when you first meet someone but when he admits to being the same/similar that's not okay? Slow down, take a deep breath and try not to read things that may not be there. Remember if you do meet him and feel uncomfortable on Saturday then you can always say no. Even if it's the last minute you can say no.

Lueji at least with the ones who admit straight away that they're only after sex you can block them. Unless of course they resemble someone like James Marsden in which case you may want to take them up on it

Time something I didn't pick up on yesterday was your post that included the best man. Does this mean that watch has to make sure Mr Lovely picks a best man who is all of those things but also willing to stay living in his own house

In my case, a 70 year old Harrison Ford would do it. :o

Chaotic, good advice for sponge. It is bloody hard though. I think being less naieve than someone in their early 20's and having been seriously burned/ hurt, the default stance is to look for what is wrong, or what might go wrong. And then this is on top of all the usual dating drama.
It's bloody difficult and a bit of a,leap of faith.

Mr lovely called last night. So we are now taking on the phone everyday. Had a panic this morning about the speed this seems to be happening at, because It's not been long. But then slappedmyself with a wet fish and am ok ( just)
What's shocking to me is how easily you can make time for someone and fit them into your life if you want to. Somehow I'm seeing him 3 times this week before I go away...... When before I would have said it was impossible. Weird.

I agree, it is surprising how you can adapt and change when you want to!

I texted K (the man I'd invited round to my place thisafternoon) and said I felt a bit ill could we make it another day.
He was fine with that.
I used to be much more gung ho about sex with people I didnt know very well, now I'm much more cautious and need more time to think about it.

Then had a text from fwb2..am I free thisafternoon?
I'm not really sure if I want to be free or not

starts campaign for [wetfish] :)

nowt going on with me. not so bad though = eating properly, less booze and more exercise seems to have shaken the blues for a bit.

exercise is a great mood improver:) infact I have a bit of an exercise addiction, without it I am gloomy as hell

Exercise is a recognised therapy for depression. :)

I haven't replied to tongue man since Sunday... Not sure what to say, TBH.

I think I'll tell him that things are going a bit too fast.
I need proper flirting and looking into eyes before launching into a snog fest.
Then test it next week.

Lueji, he should be fine if you just say you need to slow things down a bit...there's alot to be said for making sure things go at the pace you feel comfortable with

Yes, I know, Mercury. :)

It was just not clear in my mind what I really wanted and what my issues were.

I've sent the message. Clarifying that I was a bit surprised at how things went, that I don't want something purely physical and that I like things more slowly. Then suggested meeting next week somewhere where we might be more comfortable talking and possibly exploring demonstrations of affection. At the last date we had a family sitting right behind us.

We'll see. :)

Not too bothered if it doesn't go through, TBH.

Afternoon :)

Being out doing an assertiveness course today. Wasn't sure what to expect but it was quite informative and interesting really.

watch I know what you mean about it being hard wrt my advice to sponge. When you've been in a shitty relationship it must be a form of self protection, in a way, not to get your hopes up, or to think of ways that things may go wrong. Sometimes though I think you're then in danger of getting into a mindset which then becomes self-fulfilling.

I'm the optimistic/glass half full type but I use the same techniques to try and avoid being too disappointed on the occasions when things don't work out. It doesn't work because I can't quite convince myself not to get my hopes up. The interview I had recently, I kept telling myself that my chances of getting a second interview were slim but I couldn't stop getting my hopes up and ended up disappointed when I got the email.

HELP!

An informal lunch meeting has been set up with Mr Blind date (i guess it is time I gave him a name?) Either tomorrow or thurs. It will be a group situation.

My hair needs cutting. My hair needs dying...and...just...eek...I've never had a planned 'date'. I've just had friendships.that have. Grown into something more AMD even then the last time was nearly 20years ago...eek I don't know what I'm doing!

Haunted, is it hair advise that you need? or just general reassurance? :o

Just general ...erm....stop me panicking....