Dating, Loitering and Sofa Surfing, It's All Happening! Dating Thread 16.

[TimeForMeAndDD]

In continuation from previous thread:

Watch do not talk exclusivity until you have assessed the contents of his trouser department after the 5th date. Only after you have assessed the contents of his trouser department the 5th date do you decide whether or not the willy he is worth the commitment.

And yes, of course you go on Friday!! What on earth are you thinking woman! Today you were the BOSS of a coconut shy, a few of his friends will be nothing compared to that!

I've got to go make coffee, I've just watch Paying it Forward and I am in bits! BITS!

Aye, I am broody :) I do think it's partly down to the fact that my children are no longer children, iyswim.

I know you adore your DD, that comes across when you've mentioned her in previous posts.

I've been on my own for 12 years now, we agreed to split the day after my mum's wedding to my stepfather, gotta love the timing Since then I've become very independent and have got used to doing things on my own, rather than asking for help. In fact I find it hard to ask for help because I'm so used to doing things on my own. In some ways it was easier on my own because I wasn't expecting anything from him so wasn't disappointed.

When we split my ex was working a job were he worked different days each week and he very rarely got a weekend off so we never got into the eoW routine, he would just pick them up, take them out and bring them back after a few hours. He has had them overnight twice in those 12 years. I just got on with things and arranged my social life to be more during the day. At that time I wasn't interested in having a relationship so that didn't matter. When dd got to the age of 14 was when I started doing things more at night, not that I ever went out much due to lack of money but both DC were sensible enough for me to leave them for a few hours on the occasional night when I went out.

So when I sit down and think about it practically I know I would lose a lot of freedom if I had another child so it would have to be with someone who was worth it. The practical side of me says I'm now free to do what I want when I want wrt a social life, I don't need babysitters. The emotional side of me is still unwilling to say "That's it, no more."

yes, uni - big and scary, is it all sorted and organised? must be a difficult time for a mother. I cant even imagine......

I was talking about the being independent thing with my old friend over the weekend, we are both ex army wives. We both agreed that its far far easier to be a single parent than it is an army wife, but that being an army wife was pretty amazing training for being on our own, because there is nothing we cant do. want to get your car towed when you break down in germany and dont speak german, and they speak no english - no problem. Need to be at the other end of the country in7 hours time, with no map, no sat nav, and not being entirely sure what you are going to find when you get there - fine :) Moving to a new country, on your own, because your husband has gone to war, unexpectly the day before, and as yet you dont even know if you have a house to move into when you get there - yeah, im your girl.
:) there is jack shit we cant do.

thing is miss chaotic - you are going to have to date first you know, if you think you might at some point like more children... time to get off that sofa?

Chaotic you're not the only broody one :). I think in my case it's because my boys aren't little now (DS2 starts secondary school in Sept) plus turning 40 which has made it worse. Plus the fact that ever since I made my mind up to leave the Ex (about 3 years before I actually did, so maybe 7/8 years ago now) I'd always planned to have a 3rd child, ideally in a happy relationship because with DS1 I was totally on my own, and with DS2 I might as well have been the Ex spent 1 day at home after he was born, and only then because there was no-one else to bring us back from hospital . I think the baby boat has probably sailed for me but who knows...

In other news, I am actually hopeful my luck may be starting to change, but now I've said that it will probably all turn to shit before the first date as ever.

I am independent since leaving the ex. I have some good friends. I made good friends since being back and have realised that some were always there I just had to ask.

Gets the hallibut back out & gives sponge a quick swipe too!!!! Right you, no talking up or down the potential date. Think of it as meeting a potential new client/case - not a date, until you actually go on the date.

Post . I am getting ridiculously slightly ahead of myself as no date has been suggested yet. But then I am always (in my head) about 300 steps ahead of where I actually am . I don't want to jinx it so will say only he seems nice. And has been single for 4 years (even longer than me) and no dates in that time. And he comes from the same town as my lovely Ex (which I have told myself is a good sign even if it is nowhere near here)

I think I may need another slap with the fish!

sponge - yay! details!

I am beaming very positive lovely thoughts of happiness at you!

De-lurking again...Watch, I too am an ex army wife. You are so right, there is nothing we can't do! Army life has set me up nicely for single parenthood and given me alot of indepenance.

Post, I am on girls date for free. It has a chat room as well as the normal messaging, wink, smile thing. It's not too bad, I've had a lot of interest on there from a wide range of ages. Not found anyone I actually want to meet though, but then I still don't know if i'm ready for it all yet.

Howls with laughter at the fish slapping dance. Couldn't get the YouTube link to work, but remember only too well, Cleese & Palin with the pilchard & the halibut!!!! Thank you Snape, for the reminder. Don't know what to say with regard to your friend. On the one hand it seems such a shame for you to lose a good friend, on the other he is acting like a bit of a berk at the moment. I'd like to think there could be a good resolution. Suggest a bit of halibut slapping might work for him too!

watchWrt uni, I don't think it's quite sunk in yet. On one level, I know she's going to uni and moving out, at least during term time, she'll be back home for holidays, but I don't think it'll really hit me until it happens. In one respect I'm excited for her because I know she'll have a great time and it's like a baby step of moving out but they come back for the hols, so you get used to them not being there all the time before they move out for good. I will miss her though.

Yes, I know I need to date if there's ever to be any possible future dc but right now I'm not really in a position to date. My financial situation is changing and I need to get some debts paid off and I'll soon have less money with which to pay them off.

sponge I know how you're feeling. I'm slightly older than you having turned 40 last September. If I ever have another dc I would like it to be within the context of a happy, fulfilling relationship, a relationship of love, trust, respect and equality. I'm not prepared to accept any old relationship in order to have another child, at the same time I don't really want to go down the single parent route again either* so I know my chances of having another dc are low but there's a part of me that isn't ready to completely accept that right now.

*I wouldn't deliberately choose to become a single parent but I wouldn't stay in an unhappy relationship just to avoid being one.

Interesting Tess, thank you. I think I may spend my Friday night having a look at dating sites and photo shopping or whatever it is, my photos.

Snape

sponge I nearly missed that last sentence having concentrated on what you'd said before that. Great news and yes, we need details

Sponge, get a date asap!

Might as well not waste much time on chatting online. it

Post I'm on www.adultfishdating.co.uk

there are several similar sites that all feed in together so you get messages from people who have joined other sites.

Much of it is crass, there are lots of grotesque profile pictures, but..well
'do not cast your pearls before swine'
and the pigs are easy to spot!

hello everyone,

has anyone tried uniform dating? I'm chatting to the most gorgeous fireman also I've been invited to the Isle of Wight festival by a very yummy bloke who lives there

hate fingers crossed your luck is about to change :)

I've just been reading a thread on AIBU which linked to an article in the Daily Fail. While reading the article I got distracted by this

I can dream, can't I?

aahhhh! just deleted my times encounters profile as my subscription is up! Also sent them a snitty reactionnaire about how they are profiting from people who are tired of being alone/lonely.

freedom!

hoorah!

chaotic

RRrrRRrrrRRrRRrrRrrrrrRRRRR!!!

Glad to hear of everyones good news. I was enlightened to why I am single today. Apparently its cos when men look at me they see confidence (good front I put on) and beauty so assume I am taken. So I suppose I need a t shirt saying "i'm single so come try your luck" or something. Anyway I think my mate was just being nice. But good to hear anyway.

Chaotic that was lovely thank you.

South yorkshireman has gone cold on me.

However I joined okcupid earlier on in the week and have spent the afternoon doing accounts talking to a nice guy from york.
We're going to meet up a week tomorrow and are skyping tonight.
Never has an afternoon of accounts been such fun!

I am from York :) As is Mr Nice. Can therefore confirm men from York can be nice (although of course trust you have found a different nice man :))

God I do hope so, Miranda. I live just north of york.
My 'mr york' works in tadcaster.

He's just texted to say he's going to go to work later and can I meet him tomorrow afternoon? Absolutely!

Mine does not work in Tadcaster :)

Have fun meeting your one :)