Dating, Loitering and Sofa Surfing, It's All Happening! Dating Thread 16.

[TimeForMeAndDD]

In continuation from previous thread:

Watch do not talk exclusivity until you have assessed the contents of his trouser department after the 5th date. Only after you have assessed the contents of his trouser department the 5th date do you decide whether or not the willy he is worth the commitment.

And yes, of course you go on Friday!! What on earth are you thinking woman! Today you were the BOSS of a coconut shy, a few of his friends will be nothing compared to that!

I've got to go make coffee, I've just watch Paying it Forward and I am in bits! BITS!

i hate cutting the grass almost as much as i hate cleaning the bathroom - esp so as they both have to be done at least weekly.

Though i do have quite a cool, self propelled lawn mower.

I will let him - and watch, from the sidelines, said i might be ever so thankful and repay him in sexual favors :)

i think its just i feel a bit lost/ confused over which, if any direction this is heading in. So - if i know, then i can deal with it, if its just sex, id want to keep it as just sex, and forgo all this gigs, meals and grass cutting stuff... and if its something else.. then i want to know because then i can panick about it, and deal with it and not wonder if its just sex.

Obviously this is unreasonable. i KNOW this. Its been no time at all and he probably doesnt know any more than what i know, in that i like seeing him,and spending time with him, and we are having rather good sex. Its just difficult to figure out how you feel about ' stuff' if you dont know what that ' stuff' is.
and i am also unwilling to bring up any conversation about ' stuff'

Miranda, I wouldn't worry too much about the broody feelings. I get them occasionally myself but I think it's just the fact that my youngest is now 18 god, that makes me feel old and when I think about having a relationship it does sometimes cross my mind that it would be nice to 'cement' that relationship with another child. Also I keep thinking about baby snuggles and the smell of newborns, I really need to think about the pooping, crying, sleepless nights etc.

I think it's also to do with the fact that I only have x amount of years, if I'm lucky, where I'm fertile, if that makes sense.

I can't explain it any better right now because I have to go, literally, will be back later :)

miranda - :) at all the sex. it is good, isnt it. but then i wonder if it is all about the sex, but then im just as much to blame on that front :) monday we had breakfast, there was obviously no sex, we snogged outside my work, in a bush ( classy) and then i growled, actually growled, from sexual frustration.. he thought that was sexy as hell, i just thought i sounded like a tiger....in any case i cant keep my hands off him.

i should think the hormone thing is to do with all the sex you are having :)

I am clearly mad, as I love mowing the lawn. I love getting the stripes to run up and down - it just looks so pleasing!!!! You'd never guess I was a bit OCD!

So my Match & DD subscriptions came to an end, so I'm going to try the free sites. From what I can tell, POF or OKC seem to be the options? Am I right?

I am gladly flirting and being single. Loving it. No relationships for me. Maybe fate will work. Something posted on Facebook:
Take chances- lots of them because honestly no matter where you end up and with whom, it always ends up just the way it should be. Your mistakes,make you who you are - learn and grow with each choice you make. Everything is worth it. So say how you feel - always. Be yourself and be okay with it. And don't worry about what anyone else thinks.

Amen to that!

yep - do both :)
It very much depends on your area...

i like lawn stripes, i just dont like putting them there myself.

Thanks Watch, I'll try both. I'm in the South East, just outside London - so imagine there should be plenty in my area.

MLM, I have a great quote stuck to my office wall:

"We wouldn't worry nearly as much about what others thought of us, if we recognise how seldom they do." Paulo Coelho

I got asked out......but I am on a break from men, swapped numbers thought he wouldn't bother texting but he has......very tempted. He is SO SO SO out of my league but wants to meet up this weekend in Hyde park. Do I go? HELP GIRLS. tell me firmly NO! OR YES....

Need more info MLM. How did you meet him, what do you know about him?

Yes.

Just keep to areas with lots of people. :-)

watch?

I am composing a 'dump' email for PM, if/when he moves away. Haven't heard from him since sunday, I am not instigating contact. suspect he is tying himself in knots about moving. I am resolved to not make this easy.

MLM yes. go, already.

Post just outside London sounds perfect location wise, I'm in the south east but on the coast, I get alot of very tempting offers from men in London but I always turn them down because I think it's just too far.

As for sites I'm on POF but have never actually met anyone through it, all the men I've met have been from an adult/no strings datings site where the men pay but it's free for women.
Only a couple of those were one off encounters, in the past couple of years there have been 7 fwb type arrangements with men from that one site.

I know the 'sleazy' sites seem to have a bad reputation...but it's worked for me

mercury - im south east too. on the coast - suffolk :)

mlm - yes, go, stick to a public place, dont fall in love after 10 mins :)

cheers snape :)!!! what on earth are you going to say - will you not keep in contact after he goes?

YWK texted me again, since i didnt respond to his last text. I did read this one, it said ' i am really sad' i just deleted :) he can be really sad, its not my issue :)

i feel calmer now. its not long till i see him, it will be fine.

Mercury - interesting info about the no strings site. Roughly what age are you? (If you don't mind me asking.) I'm just wondering if that kind of thing still works when you are over 40!

I think it's better to not keep in contact after he goes. I think it will hurt more to have the nonrelationship peter out, than make a clean break.

it's not exactly healthy to have this confusing unrequited bollocks of a relationship and while it's been wonderful to have him on my doorstep and as part of my family, I foresee me putting a lot of time and effort into trying to maintain a friendship, while he will not contribute equally to that. If you love someone let them go and all that annoying psycho-bollocks.

plus, he's being a dick in not telling me that he's going, because he thinks I won't react well ( I wont!) so I think it's time to draw a line. I've had enough. I will not continue to be treated as a peripheral after-thought. I have a fair idea what I'm going to say - i might not actually send it, I'm waiting to see whta happens next.

brilliant that you're not responding to ykw. ahw! is he 'sad'? tough shit.

dont mind at all Post, I'm mid 40's
and in sussex :)

he is being mean in not telling you ,esp if its going to happen quite quickly. so i can understand you thinking it would be one sided in keeping the friendship going.
It is poo though. and i know you must feel awful.

yes, ywk is ' sad' stupid man can remain ' sad' i neither care nor, well, i just dont care :)

Watch I saw your underwire problem thread - glad you got it sorted :) have you been being over enthusiastically flinging your bra off then?

Hmmm, interesting Mercury. I've did FWB with someone for a long time. I wanted more, he can't give it (not because he's married btw), so I went cold turkey at Christmas & decided to try dating again. But I do sometimes think that that kind of arrangement fits better with my life - and my inability to be emotionally dependent on anyone.
Would you mind letting me know the name of the site? PM me if you want.

Grrr - I did, not I've did!!!!!

miranda - lol. no :) my underwires always go. perils of big boobs i supose. typically wearing a strapless bra and strapless maxi dress. My boobs are rather pert, but really, if i pulled one underwire out i would still look a bit lopsided...

Don't know which site Mercury is on but BeNaughty is one such site.

I was thinking about my last post while on the bus. I've come to the conclusion that, although I'm not actively looking to have more children I'm not ready to say a definite no to more children either. Not that it matters either way because I'm currently sofa surfing

I met him on a train to mums yesterday. God damn weather. We were planning a trip to Hyde park (that is very public right?) Never been. Not sure if we will get on. It was only 3 stops on the train.

chaotic - you are broody!! lol

I never get broody, i did once, for a few weeks, dd happened and i think thats it for me :)

I woiuld have liked two, i didnt intend on DD being an only, but im not sure i would go back there again. Ive pretty much done the whole thing on my own, bar maybe 6 months, and its bloody hard work. If i even think about it, i can only think of it as me doing it all again, and what it takes and how much work it is, marred by my experince, im sure its totally different if you have a loving and supportive partner, but im not sure id even risk it in case it all goes wrong and im left dealing with it all on my own.
Please dont read that as i dont like my dd, i adore her :) it is just alot of work and i happen to think its incrediably unfair in the way all the responsibility/ hard work/ scarifice seems to fall in the lap of the mother.

watch I understand perfectly I worship my son but no more. Although I didn't separate from my ex til little man wad 18months I basically done it alone. He was either at the pub or too drunk/ drugged to be capable of looking after him. The thought of losing another baby also scares the Hell out of me as does being a single mum again. And I had severe post natal depression so another baby won't be happening. I would give anything to have the two I lost back but having another I know won't replace them.