Dating, Loitering and Sofa Surfing, It's All Happening! Dating Thread 16.

[TimeForMeAndDD]

In continuation from previous thread:

Watch do not talk exclusivity until you have assessed the contents of his trouser department after the 5th date. Only after you have assessed the contents of his trouser department the 5th date do you decide whether or not the willy he is worth the commitment.

And yes, of course you go on Friday!! What on earth are you thinking woman! Today you were the BOSS of a coconut shy, a few of his friends will be nothing compared to that!

I've got to go make coffee, I've just watch Paying it Forward and I am in bits! BITS!

Child the southyorks bloke sounds a bit of an exception, in my experience men are pretty keen to meet.
If a man says he's nervous I'd be a bit worried that the sex isnt going to be with the effort...

Well I won't know till I meet him will I?

I'll have to see about sorting out a meeting with him.

Right I am going to set up a profile by the end of the weekend.
Think I'm going to go with okc based on what I've read on this thread.

I would like some dos and don'ts for profile writing please.

But in the meantime I appear to have been match-made in rl...but can't even have the guts to say yes to that so not sure how this OD is going to work....

hey everyone, I hope its going well for you all with the dating.

Ive not been online much recently as Ive been really busy with work and with my dd. She is really upset at the moment as stopped seeing her dad about 6months ago and is going through a really rough patch about it. God its so hard to know what to do and I am trying my best to protect her.

She is desperate to see him

on the dating frount, I really cant be arsed with pof at the moment. I talk to guys for a few messages and they ask for my number right away.

I am a bit wary about giving it out after the wanking video I had recieved.

notsurewhy that does seem to be my impression of POF, everyone seems to have naked torsos!

After getting hooked on this thread I have joined OKC so like Haunted would appreciate some advice for that one.

So, some of you are looking for relationships and others of you are looking for FWB, to me it seems the paying sites like GSM are more for the relationship sort and the freebies have more people looking for a shag - would that be too much of a generalisation?

I'm not asking this to sound like your granny, just interested from my own personal paranoia, those of you meetings guys for sex, do you worry about STIs?

(Ps name changed during this thread as got the feeling that I was going to start getting personal, and don't want that to be linked with previous posts about DC - men and DC kept strictly separate at this point!)

sorry notsurewhy men so much on the brain that I completely neglected to say for you about your daughter. You must be so torn about what to say and do.

sneaks in, and sort of lurks whilst learning the ropes.

not dated for nearly three years. have a toddler and always been a single parent. feel like taking a deep breath and wading in the shark pool once more, but no idea where to start!

What's "Instagram"? Sounds like something I could use. DS says I look like Hitler in all the photos I have of me at the moment :(

Ahem.....because of my previously very short, dark hair cut and NOT because of a moustache which Jolen takes care of.

Right...got to go away for work for a few days, but will work on my profile and get some of you to cast your experienced eyes over it when I get back, if that's OK.

@Watch Enjoy tomorrow

I tend to use stills from a camcorder for profile pics, it's easier to get a flattering shot :)

I have a programme on my laptop that I bought ages ago called "Portrait Professional" which airbrushes you. It's hilarious - you can change your complete skin tone, whiten your teeth, fatten up your lips and change the shape of your face. The results are generally appalling but it's very good at smoothing out wrinkles & large pores etc.

Might show you my before & after pic next week if you promise not to laugh too loudly.

Anyway, have nice weekends everybody.

Mercury Yes, I do that with webcam footage. You can get nice, natural shots that way, can't you.

I also find that fiddling about with the contrast, colour saturation and brightness does a good job of improving skin tone & reducing lines.
Thats just using basic photo editing software that's usually free or pre installed

Wow, so impressed by the photo tech stuff used! Do you think it makes a significant difference?

I think it does, I mean we all look different in different light and fiddling about with contrast, colour saturation and brightness is pretty much the equivalent of changing the lighting...isnt it?
I mean it's not quite as misleading as photoshopping is it?

Mercury, it depends what you mean by photoshoping.
Photoshop does lighting too.

In the meantime I am playing in my mind telling no 1 about ex and asking about his.
For one I feel I need to explain that for the moment we couldn't be very much in the open. Not regarding DS, because ex might start his rounds of threats again.
On the other hand, I want to do the MN test of how they speak about their exes.

Would you start with it or introduce it into conversation?
I feel we have done a lot of chitchat but need to know eachother more in-depth
And I'm afraid we might end up skipping the subject.

Sorry again haven't caught up but had a dream I was cuddling someone. Then I woke up and realised there was no one there and burst into tears. I just dont understand why. Now I need a hug. Stupid dream.

I found Mr Nice on OKC and I'm not sure really what either of us were looking for but we have found ourselves in a relationship which we are very happy with :)

I really do feel I will wake up one day and it will have been a (very nice) dream but doesnt seem to be happening yet

oh my goodness, im having a total wobble today. at my friends advice, im letting the crazy out now, in the hope then man doesnt see the crazy.

hes staying over tonight, it transpires, or ive interpreted that he hasnt done that very often.... he said he was looking forward to morning sex, i said i loved morning sex, it was the best, and he said he wouldnt know and i huh'ed and he said its not something thats happened before....
So - thats put me into a bit of a panic.

Then im off on holiday next weekend, and i dont know how thats going to effect stuff and if it might all just fizzle out because we wont be seeing each other? or just, you know, i dont know... And we were debating just eating and skipping the film, and then i said we could go see it when im back from holiday and he went really vague about that... so that makes me think that this is kinda a short term, over this weekend thing.

Then we were sorting out logistics for his sat gig and he said about not wanting to impose on my time and if i had stuff to do, and i said i did need to cut the grass.. and then he offered to do it for me, said it would be fun. So - my reaction to this was as follows ( though obviously i didnt say this out loud)

1. what, fuck off, i can cut my own grass thank you very much!
2. ah, thats really sweet and nice
3. panic!!!! thats a bit couply and domesticated, argh!!!!

Then, its been 4 weeks since ive been ' seeing' him since tuesday. 4 weeks!! how the fuck did that happen? That both pleases me and terrifies me in equal measure.

so basically i am doing the typically female thing and having a right panic about nothing.

someone slap me with a wet fish please.
HELP!!

heneritta - the assumption that paid sites have more ' serious about dating' men on them is basically a whole lot of poo! :) most of the ones on paid sites are also on the free ones too, and from doing both, there really is nothng in it at all. in fact i would go as far to say ive had worse experiences on paid sites. Im currently on match, think it ends in a few days. The first message i had was from a man who has also contacted me on pof - i remembered him because on pof he is posing in womens clothes...!!! he started messaging me and then got round quickly to ' do you like shopping for shoes and things' and telling me how much he likes it. I wish i was making it up. BLOCKED!!

luei - yeah, id like to do that talk with mr lovely. i dont think i should quite yet though, its what, date 11 or 12..... i kinda figure it will come up at somepoint?

Applying a suitably large hallibut to Watch!!!!!

You are overthinking it all. Enjoy it / him. Accept a nice offer to help with your lawn - of course he doesn't think you can't mow your own lawn, he is just being a decent human.

I am certain he will want to see you when you get back from your holidays. It sounds like he likes you & enjoys spending time with you. From what you've said, it also sounds like he is not a long-term planner, so maybe he can't do the thinking about a cinema trip 2 weeks in advance?!

Applies another lash of the hallibut.

MLM - hope you can catch up with a friend today. Don't be down about your dream. Big hug.

NB only have my own limited experience to go by here but will do my best :)

Staying over thing - don't overthink too much. You have had great sex with him already. S what if he hasn't done staying over - show him how much fun morning sex is :)

You going away - will be fine. Are you going abroad or in this country? You can stay in touch and will be nice and exciting when you get back.

Grass thing - he was being nice :) This is a Good Thing. Yes of course you can cut the grass yourself but he was just making a nice offer. And does not mean you have become domesticated

4 weeks is a little scary ish (well in my case 8 weeks is quite scary) but is also Great :) it is all fine.

I keep having wobbles but try and remind myself that whatever happens I have had an amazing 2 months and it has made me so alive. I like to be in control of things and in some ways am not at the moment but I think that's good for me IYKWIM. I get scared a little about the future as in "argh we talk about things happening next year wtf. And we have booked to see a ukulele concert in September - what if it all goes tits up and we both have children - what happens with all that and when and things" and then I remember that is is OK and what will be will be.

That is probably no help but definitely better to let it out here rather than at Mr Lovely :)

yes, it is much better to let it out and not direct it at him else he will think i am nuts.
he is not any kind of planner at all. This is fact, its possible, and quite likely he cant think more than a day or two in front. For example, we are meeting at 5:20 this evening, straight from his work. he doesnt drive. he has a big gig tomorrow in another town. We had said about him staying over fri. So yesterday was a clumbsy coversation in which it i find out he had taken his guitars / foot pedaly things to work from home, on the off chance he would stay at mine until he needs to leave for his gig, but he wasnt sure what was going to happen. and that he was thinking he might leave them in my car, but wasnt sure, but didnt want to ask in case i was busy and going to chuck him out at 8 am. The like, monday he was like ' ah, i really wish i was seeing you later' at 5pm..... so hes probably one of those people that dont really think much ahead.

Im going in this country - we can be in contact....

yes, the grass thing was nice. i just dont know how i feel about it, because i am silly.

miranda - yep, it is scary, and all that ' what ifs etc' but yes, im having an absolutley fab time, and am looking forward to later, lots.

watch stop panicing. Relax, enjoy it while it's happening and don't worry about what may or may not happen in a couple of months. It may be short term it may be long term but the time to decide that, or even worry about it, is not now, it's at some stage in the future by which time you'll know which it the right path.

I had to cut my own grass yesterday , it bores me, so next time he mentions cutting grass send him up here. That is all I want him for I promise

I have banned myself from grass cutting after two occasions of running over the flex . Am luckily still alive. Second one bust the lawn mower so now average gardener who comes occasionally.

Think it needs doing again as XH said if I got one he would cut it. He actually would intend to but wouldn't....and besides I really don't want him mowing my lawn

If I could afford to pay someone to come and cut my grass I would

I've done the flex thing myself, twice, only with hedge trimmers. Luckily where I live now it's fence instead of hedge.

I've now completely deleted my profiles from Okcupid, POF and Oasis instead of just hiding them. I'm currently broke, have a lot of financial changes coming up so not really in a position to date. I'll still keep posting though and giving my opinion/advice for what it's worth :)

Just re read my first reply which sounded like I was intending Mr Nice and I to give birth to chidlren at a ukulele concert . We both have our own children. And his is 17 which is rather older than my 8 and 6 year old ones, I sort of wonder what might happens in the future as he did say he felt he had done children bringing up already but tbh he later has said that he might revisit what he thinks so who can tell.

Does not help that my very not broody feelings have been replaced with ooh wouldn't it be fun to have another child ones . Is a very good thing I have long term contraception which would be a bugger to remove. Am pretty sure is just a hormonal rush from all the sex I'm having but am having to remind myself of the many reasons why no more children is good ie morning sickness, pregnancy problems, massive weight gain, no sleep, nappies, buggies, size of car, they don't talk for ages, you can't just get up and go etc etc etc. Am hoping this calms down soon .