Dating, Loitering and Sofa Surfing, It's All Happening! Dating Thread 16.

[TimeForMeAndDD]

In continuation from previous thread:

Watch do not talk exclusivity until you have assessed the contents of his trouser department after the 5th date. Only after you have assessed the contents of his trouser department the 5th date do you decide whether or not the willy he is worth the commitment.

And yes, of course you go on Friday!! What on earth are you thinking woman! Today you were the BOSS of a coconut shy, a few of his friends will be nothing compared to that!

I've got to go make coffee, I've just watch Paying it Forward and I am in bits! BITS!

child - yay!!!

So - im seeing him tomorrow lunch time, and then all weekend ( excluding sat night for his last gig)

Work friend just commented that ' whats up with you, you look really different, glowy, have you had a tan, or haircut, or something' and after much giggling i confessed it was probably due to lots of sex, which of course she found hysterical, but confirmed that i do indeed look ' different and glowy'
so - there you go.

fantastic watch, no doubt that'll lead to you being chatted up by umpteen other blokes now, since you're oozing sexuality and glowiness

New on these dating threads and trying not to be too of watch

Very nosey question - how many dates did it take for you to drop your knickers?

(In fact, if you feel like giving me a very brief history of how you met and how it all happened then I'm all ears! I could do with a bit of optimism... I would read through all the threads but when we're on the 16th dating thread of 1000 posts I think I'd rather risk asking repeat questions )

rask - thats already happened. twice on friday - in actual real life and everything. lol

keys - okcupid - chatted for 8 days or so. Lunch time coffee date. Drinks at a bar the week later. Then coffee again two days after that - by which point there had only been a tiny, tiny kiss on the lips and a 2 second snog. I was childfree and wanted him so having already said we would do it again, i invited him to mine ( last tuesday evening) and then ive seen him tue, wed, thur, fri ( for the excellent gig date, higher up thread) and then sunday.
And then tomorrow and then fri, sat, sun coming.
And plans for activities are happening, you know, things we should do.. as well as all the filth :) its nice. And lots of texts, and talking and just nice stuff.
yeah - its nice., and surprising as i was the most cynical fucker going :)

very very pleased for you. Gives me hope!

Hi keys, okcupid for me too - one guy I chatted to for a week or so, then met for drink/dinner then invited him to mine for dinner. Having had an extended dry spell a break from dating for a very long time, I was quite keen . We dated for a couple of months. Next time, guy I met online, met for lunch, next date was a long walk and lovely snog in the car. I seem to have got my mojo back and looking forward to my next dates although trying to hold out a bit longer so that it doesn't just end up being about the sex
As watch says, the early days are fab :o

im not sure if i should counter act it by saying that ive been online dating for almost 3 years.. and that bar fwb flings this is the longest ive seen someone for. and that ive had about 60 ish first dates and out of those, maybe 4 or 5 second dates... so, yeah....

Rask - i was slightly aware of it being alot of sex, but we didnt have sex friday. and well, as my friend said, shes with somone, 5 months in, and they have literally only just started doing things other than shagging - its quite a normal thing to do.
I think if they are just booty calling you, or just being arses, ie - not chatting and just trying to ' book a shag' that is quite different to just not being able to keep your hands off each other.

Watch - I agree, after being married for donkey's years, getting back on the dating scene is a big step, takes a lot of courage and the knock-backs are difficult but I've got to the stage now where I hope I can filter out the idiots and make my own choices about whether the sex happens or not. I was aware that this weekend's non-date may have occurred because he thought I was up for it whereas actually I'm trying to take things a bit more calmly, we might have got our wires crossed there but have texted a lot bit since then and its all ok :)

Sponge, my new chap lives 140 miles away. PITA especially as he only just moved a few months ago... and he could soon be off to Hong Kong just to make matters worse. But we're having fun and the 140 miles certainly aren't proving a problem. We split the travelling and he is more than happy to do all of it if need be as am I.

I'd never have specifically looked for someone that far away, that's just how it happened but the others are right if you really click it doesn't matter a jot.

I'm finding it very refreshing to be 'dating' as an adult.
I met ex when I was 14 so have never dated apart from with him.

I find it empowering to know that I can have sex if I choose, it's not someone elses decision.
It has been quite a steep learning curve but I have had; and am having; loads of fun.

watch just found your gig date post.

He's a rock God too?

Right. I'm putting in 3 years to this dating bollocks if that's what it takes...

:)
I know!,Bloody love boys with guitars..

You Brits are spoiled living on Pudding Island! :) I helped my daughter move into her new unit on the weekend... 13 miles. In the morning I pick my GD up from the local daycare centre... 16 miles. I visit my Mum every week for tea... 31 miles. If I want to go see a band or go to an open mike they're in the city... 35 miles away! And Londoners have the advantage of a fantastic public transport system. When my daughter was 10 she went to the UK with my then wife and step-daughter. The ex was a Scot so she was ok up north, but lost in London so the 7 and 10 year old girls found their way around using the tube, which apparently is cheap, easy to navigate and frequent. I have my default searches in Oasis and PoF set to a 50 mile radius!

Watch, show your guy my website.... www.jupitercreekmusic.com
He'll get a chuckle from it! :)

When we come up for air, I will.
He customs his own. He's got an old Jackson which he stuck thousands of tiny schwazki.crystals over. Totally covered, in waves, and swirls. So it looks a different colour the whole time, and when the lights hit it its spectacular.

I kinda can't believe we are planning on spending the whole weekend together..

Now see guitars don't do much for me, but even I could be excited about a sparkly guitar

I am unsure about Wed's date. He spends at least 2 hours a day in the gym. This is not me...those of you who know me on FB will well know I am about as far from being a gym bunny as it is possible to be. I think he thinks I am much thinner & fitter than I am - though to be fair he has seen a few photos of me which I think make it clear I am not skinny. Oh well, he may be in for a shock...

Sponge - you're putting yourself down again, if he's seen photos of you then he knows exactly what to expect and is fine with that - just cos he goes to the gym doesnt mean he expects you to be an olympic athlete too! Relax and take things as they come - you'll have a great time! Also one of the things I've learned over the far too many years is that boys like girls with curves - believe me they do - I explained this to my 19 year old son recently and he grinned from ear to ear !!

I'm not putting myself down, I'm just well aware what men are like tbh. He asked me to send another picture of myself earlier - I sent one which was perhaps less flattering than ones he'd already seen. That was 2 hours ago and no reply- he'd spent the previous hour texting me non-stop. And he's online. So I think I was totally right about him

Can't decide whether to cancel Weds, or just leave it, as inevitably I won't hear from him again. This is why I get so utterly bored with online shit.

Some nice action going on around here. :-)

I do want to put something through you wise ones.

I told the guy yesterday that ex had hit me and he asked me why. My twat detectors went on overdrive and I asked him if it mattered. He said he just wanted to know and I said that I would tell him if I got to know him better.

Of course the right answer is because he was an abusive twat.

Do you think asking why a man hits a woman is a red flag? Or should I probe a little and find out if he thinks anything justifies hitting a woman, except self-defence?
How would you phrase the question?

PS - Sponge. Lots of men like women with rounder bodies. :-)

I know lots of men find me attractive, it's not about me thinking there's something wrong with how I look, I don't think that at all. After all men still fancied me when I weighed 5 stone more than I do now! I just knew this guy was looking for something that I'm not, and predictably I've been proved right by his complete lack of reply (which I actually think is a bit rude).

Saves me the hassle of dyeing my hair tomorrow though.

I'd never discuss my (abusive) Ex with anyone unless it was an established relationship tbh, I'd feel very uncomfortable if the reaction I got was why, seems a bit odd. I'm not sure I'd be minded to discuss it further.

My feelings exactly.

Sponge, he may be exaggerating his gym usage or just mentioning it because he feels the need to sell himself to you..I say dont read anything into the lack (so far) of reply..it's all virtual until you actually meet someone.

I agree on the previous relationship thing, I'd never mention anything 'heavy' like an abusive past relationship, it just seems inappropriate to bear your soul like that when you dont know someone very well.

I have told lots of people about the physical aggression, but nobody ever asked me why, actually.

I think I will follow my initial gut feeling and drop him.

Lueji that's what I'd do too. Just seems an odd reaction on his part.

Mercury you might be right but on this evening's evidence I predict he will flake and cancel. He was all chatty til I sent that photo, and has been online all evening since, though total silence to me, which speaks for itself.

I just find it a bit of an insult to my intelligence that I'm expected to be gullible enough to think that he's been online all night but what...not looked at my picture? Been unable to reply? It's utterly obvious that he didn't like it and/or has got chatting to someone/some others on POF who more fit his criteria. You don't go text/text/text to complete and utter silence. Jesus how stupid do men think we are?!

Will text him tomorrow and tell him I've found something better to do with my Weds evening, rather than that be kept hanging on, he's clearly not interested and hasn't got the balls to say it. Twat.