Dating, Loitering and Sofa Surfing, It's All Happening! Dating Thread 16.

[TimeForMeAndDD]

In continuation from previous thread:

Watch do not talk exclusivity until you have assessed the contents of his trouser department after the 5th date. Only after you have assessed the contents of his trouser department the 5th date do you decide whether or not the willy he is worth the commitment.

And yes, of course you go on Friday!! What on earth are you thinking woman! Today you were the BOSS of a coconut shy, a few of his friends will be nothing compared to that!

I've got to go make coffee, I've just watch Paying it Forward and I am in bits! BITS!

GSM is Guardian Soulmates. It's free to put a profile up and look at other profiles, but you have to pay to send messages. (I haven't paid - if none of the men I think look interesting will even 'like' me, there's no chance of them messaging!)

I thought it might be a good site but so far I'm really disappointed. Or maybe it's my fault and I need to re-write my profile and get some better pictures.

Watch, how were things between you when you left him at the station? Do you think he's embarrassed about not coming?? How are you feeling?

I don't know, he said I was really pretty, kissed me, said Hed had a great time, and he would be in contact.
Which is abit shit I think.
He might be embarassed, said it had happened before. He was also embarassed about sweating a lot, said his last gf dumped him over it... I said I liked it, ( I do, if you aren't a sweaty mess, you aren't doing it right) And he said that was great.

But I don't really feel I need to be solving someone's sexual problems. And I deserve a bit more than what happened this evening.

I'm not going to contact him and will leave the ball in his court. If. And It's a big if I think... If,he gets in contact ill suggest a non sexual date...

watch my ex husband once had to take antidepressants which stopped him from being able to climax and also made him sweat like a pig! You don't think he could be on medication do you?

Time - I dont think I feel depressed when i am drinking, only after I have slept with another randomer. I just feel horny when drinking, I always have but it seems stronger these days.

snape - what you have described sounds exaclty how I feel, espically the slapping together of body parts, I have felt that way a few times. Its when you are there in the middle of it and realise oh crap wtf am I doing??

So how did you manage to stop it? As I have already got myself into some horrible situations because of it and always thought ''this will make me stop, I cant be that silly again'' but nope it still carries on. I have spent the past two years thinking of why and how this happens, I have come up with various reasons and still continue...

Chaotic and sponge - I think you are right, even thought I did not feel drunk I still did things I wouldnt have done if I was completely sober. and I know what you mean a few times I have felt like hmm what a cheek he hasn't contacted me, even thought I dadn't want to see him again. But its worse when they do contact you, and you have to think up a reason for not being interested in seeing them again.

single - wow that was brave to ask the guys about your profile, well done I dont think I would do that...

watch - I think you should give him another chance, because since breaking up with my ex, I have had ALOT i mean a MASSIVE amount of crap sex, so maybe give him another chance...

watch - it does seem abit odd, I hope hes not on anti depressants

Notsure, I'm not going to be used by someone just because the sex is good. I'd rather have no sex and my.self respect.

I.supose It's possible re anti depressants, I dont know him well enough to ask.

In any case, none of that matters. What does matter is how he is with me, and how he treats me. And he's on Rocky ground right now.

Notsure from what you've said Im inclined to think stopping drinking would be the best way to kick the sex wit strangers habit.

It sounds as if you have a kind of alter ego who comes out to play when you've been drinking and she takes no notice of decisions made by your sober self.

It's as if by drinking you give her permission to come out and do her thing

I am not suggesting that you have multiple personality disorder!!
I'm just using the alter ego theme as an analogy to try and illuminate the issue

Yes watch, I agree, it's how he treats you that matters. He has been pretty decent up to now so I hope he continues to be so, and is able to offer up an explanation.

Ok, just got a massive long text from him, explaining about the lack of orgasm his end. May have led to swift exit. But that it was all amazing, snd.how great I am. And that he's going to dedicate a song to me at his gig Friday, and if I can make it he would be really happy.

awh, bless him.

Can I just say, you made me laugh out loud with "I.supose It's possible re anti depressants, I dont know him well enough to ask." He has expertly introduced himself to every single one of your G spots, licked your armpits and sucked your toes, but yet you don't know him well enough to ask if he is taking medication

Lol. Bit funny huh.

:)

No. A lot funny!

watch :)

I think you will have to see how it goes, the odd wobble, feeling a bit meh is normal (jesus can you even imagine what I will be like if I ever even get a second date not that theres much chance of that) its good that he has explained but for me - demanding as I am - it should be as important that he makes you happy when you're with him, in every sense, that you feel its not just about sex etc...so play it by ear. And enjoy the song dedication on Friday (how cool is that! )

Very funny

Sorry watch I hope everything works out okay.

Can't do the deep thing right now as I'm timing the hair dye. I looked in the mirror this morning and could see the grey, I also noticed that the red seemed to have disappeared so I'm doing another red and seeing how that goes but am just doing roots and then ends for last 10 mins as I've got a lot of colour build up at ends due to being lazy and slapping colour on all over each time.

watch - I meant see how it goes as in dont jump to conclusions just yet and give him another chance, as it seems to be the first time he has been off like that. But I'm not suggesting you let him treat you like rubbish just because the sex is good...

mercury - I hink you could be right, if I stop drinking for a while, then maybe I will get out of this horrible habit, and after a while will be able to drink again and not sleep with strangers...

im def going to go to the gig, he said it would be ' fucking wonderful' if i could go. so - i should go really. Its at a pub really near too. Silly not to. and sponhe - yes, kinda coo. having never had a song dedicated to me before, my ego likes it.

Morning :)

Off to Coventry today so I'll have to play catch up later.

Someone once messaged me on POF saying they would "love to make my face look like a plasterers radio." Is that the same as having a song dedicated to you?

Definitely go to the gig, see him action in an area other than the bedroom. Hot sex will follow, I am sure

Morning Chaotic enjoy Coventry. It's raining here, for a change, so it's an indoor day.

notsure. Yeah, just got myself into some dodgy situations and self preservation kicked in. For me, a lot of it was working on my self esteem, realising that i didnt need a cock with a random bloke attached on it to justify my comprehension of my own worth or attractiveness...being at peace with myself meant i made better choices about who i decided to swap bodily fluids with (disclaimer: thats me. Anyone having lots of jaw-dropping sex with a variety of partners and absolutely enjoying every single squish, without hurting anyone, please continue having a great time :) i got bored wilth it and had an element of disgust with myself...and the other participants)

That said, i then got chatted up in a gay bar by a man who looked like johnny depp with a million watt smile. That was a night and a half.

It is what it is. Sex is great. :). Sex with someone you love like a bunch just seems better to me. Sirloin steak and dauphinoise potatoes vs mcdonalds happy meal. :)

There was an article in some paper definately not the daily mail that said quite a high proportion (certainly not a majority...) of ONSs led to LTRs. I'll look it out... My DCs dad was meant to be ONS (adulterous work colleague) my significant other relationship post him was meant to be a ONS (another colleague) I just got 'sucked in'

And watch. I'd give him a chance. I think you might be a bit scared of this being a relationship & looking for a dump-clause. You like the guy. He seems to like you, the sex thing is new and exciting for both of you and it would be understandable-ish to do lots and lots of sex for a bit. He wants to touch your foo-foo! He has sex blinkers on, doesnt mean he doesnt appreciate you as a person, but you're a wonderful highly sexed woman. You can do crossword puzzles together in a couple of weeks.

snape - i do think im looking for a dump clause. its frankly terrifying. and the urge to just retreat into my little bat cave is strong!
But yes, i do like him, and i think he likes me and i think he has sex blinkers on, but then so do i. so thats ok. Your not meant to be able to keep your hands off them, thats what its all about.
if there was no sex by this point id be saying i was going to dump him based on lack of sex and i couldnt date someone with such a low drive.
so - it is me. not him ( i think)

And friday will be a non sexual thing, i dont know about seeing him after, ive got horse racing ( and an hours travel to get there) and mcfly at 11am the next day... so..... and he will have all the lights/guitars/bandy stuff.

i agree with the casual sex thing, as you all know, i did it to, and thats the conclusion i came to as well, but people need to work that out for themselves i think.

watch I think you just need to remind your self that you are in control of where you go with this, then just enjoy it. It's very early days, this is the best time, the fun time, just enjoy the moment. Nothing is going to happen that you don't want to happen, and that includes this becoming a 'relationship'. It will only be what you allow it to be, you are in charge of what happens to you.

So why are you looking for a dump clause when you have a chance of actually being quite happy in a relationship (gulp!!) ?! Why are you trying to sabotage yourself (& yes, i have an answer for this, but i want to hear it from you! .)