Dating, Loitering and Sofa Surfing, It's All Happening! Dating Thread 16.

[TimeForMeAndDD]

In continuation from previous thread:

Watch do not talk exclusivity until you have assessed the contents of his trouser department after the 5th date. Only after you have assessed the contents of his trouser department the 5th date do you decide whether or not the willy he is worth the commitment.

And yes, of course you go on Friday!! What on earth are you thinking woman! Today you were the BOSS of a coconut shy, a few of his friends will be nothing compared to that!

I've got to go make coffee, I've just watch Paying it Forward and I am in bits! BITS!

because i am silly :)

no, its just terrifying really, the possibility of risking the chance of being hurt again. thats all, its far easier and safer to stay on my own, im in control and nothing can go wrong. its protected.

if i dont dump and run, then who knows what could happen, and then what?
then im wide open to stuff going wrong again.

is that your answer too? lol

I wouldn't be scared of getting hurt, not any more, cos I'm cured. I would be scared of losing my half of my lovely bed, having man mess in my house, having to compromise!

Everything you are feeling is totally understandable watch, but this man is not your ex, you are not the same person you were when you were with your ex, things are not going to be the same. Don't allow past hurts to spoil your future.

Aw Watch! I understand completely. However, you don't have to give your heart away at this point - but it does sound like you can have some fun.

I am the worst person in the world to give this advice (as a complete out & out control freak) but try to just enjoy the moment - rather than looking ahead.

I had a great time up in town last night. Went to Madame JoJos & had a blast. Exchanged a few more messages with MrMusic & we are going to stay in touch & be friends. To be honest, that works well for me - so I'm quite happy. If I have an iota of energy left this evening, I'll log back into Match to see if I can find some non-spuds!

Yep. Exactly. :)

So we know this is happening, thats a start! :) there are various options presenting

1. dump now, save the possibility of having a loving, mutually fulfilling relationship hurt.

2. stop overthinking everything and suspecting that the poor chap is like the other men you have met. Enjoy what it is for what it is just now and just see where it progresses.

If we lose sight of that tiny little splinter of hope in our black shrunken hearts, then we end up with a lot of cats . . If we continue to limit our choices because someone in the past has treated us less than kindly, then the person that caused that hurt continues to cause that hurt and then that fucker has won. I will never let an emotionally abusive, faithless excuse for a man to continue to affect my choices and my chances of happiness, because his actions were nothing to do with me. He made his choices and i refuse to continue to suffer because of them. Leave behind the hurt, take the splinter of hope out of your heart (you may need tweezers) and watch it grow back into a diamond.

(aware this all sounds a bit....californian. you know what i mean)

yes, woohoo for american style councelling! :)
lol

If i could stop overthinking i would. its very very hard to do. obviously ive not said anything to him, he is possibly thinking im sane haha

perfect example, and i pm'ed time this.
he sent a text last night:
' if you could come friday, that would be fucking wonderful!!. but if you cant make it thats ok too and i understand why. if you do come- bring ear plugs'

Now - i read that at as ' i dont want you to come now, so here is an option out, so take the hint'

it wasnt until this morning when i realised it probably wasnt meant that way.

so it is ME, looking for shit things, and not him being shit at all. its just me making it up really.

and i am enjoying it, promise ;) its only in between seeing him i get a bit confused about everything. when im actually with him its great.

Tis hard though Snape. My heart isn't black & shrunken, it is made of ice! I find it hard to allow anyone close enough for any kind of defrost to take place. It isn't the way to live, but as Watch says the alternatives are terrifying.

You are right, for the most part, we overthink far too much though.

Snape I think thats really great advice :)

Time I share your fear of compromise, though my main fear is never meeting anyone and being single forever...not helped by my looking less than attractive today with my flaky nose

Well how about limiting your over-thinking. Give yourself a huge big indulgent overthink after you've seen his gig (if you're anything like me with boys/guitars, i suggest a handbag full of panty-liners) but just now youre being a huge big Daftie and you know it! :)

See, that doesn't bother me at all Sponge, I don't mind being single forever, in fact I think I would love it. As long as I have friends and hobbies, and things to do, I think I will be fine. I think relationships can be constricting, I want to go on holiday alone and talk to anyone I want to, eat with anyone I want to, meet up with anyone I want to. Although it is said you should be able to do those things in a relationship, usually you can't. I don't want to be constricted, I wanna be Freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!

And exfoliate that nose. I exfoliate every two/three days, it's what keeps my skin looking clear, young and fresh

sponge - my arms, and now legs are peeling. few days ago my back was like a snakes. he wasnt bothered though i did spent ages trying to get as much off as i could

snape - boys and guitars rock my world. Im excited. and i KNOW im being daft.

esp so, since i managed to get my phone on ( dead battery, kaput charger) and i had a text from him saying morning, and he would get me some ear plugs if i promised to scream and throw my pants at him :) ... thats nice, isnt it. see - its me!!! it really is. even i can see that. bangs head on desk

time - i want to do those things AND be seeing somone nice. i want both...

Whereas I want to go on holiday with someone, and do things together, I never went on holiday with any of my Exs, even the Evil one I think we only went away twice cos he was usually working.

The flaky nose is a consequence of Sunday (note to self yet again to try and avoid kissing men who are not clean shaven), it will be ok in a couple of days I hope I am frantically moisturising in the meantime.

Nothing from door man yet re my quote...would it be ok do we think for me to text him tomorrow and casually ask about it? Don't want him to think I'm nagging

Yes! Text him tomorrow! (late afternoon) :)

Lol, Watch - it is definitely you being a big dafty as Snape summed up so well!! I think it sounds as though he'd like you to go, but is giving you an opt out.
Sponge - that was clearly some snog!!! Lucky you.

yes, text him!!!!!!!!! yes, later afternoon, not 8am! :)

ah, my lips are a bit like that this morning, id give angelina j a run for her money. and ive a bruise on a boob... classy,so classy.....

im not sure about wanting to go on holidays with somone, no, that would be weird. Dirty weekends, yes. family things, no so.

Yes, sponge text him! But don't invite him to drop it off until your nose is better

Post, there was a lot of very enthusiastic kissing on Sunday, several hours worth . It is my favourite thing, I remember knowing the Ex and I were doomed when I realised I had no interest in kissing him any more...

So text to door man tomorrow late afternoon it is :) Will send something casual and non-nagging! He will probably email it over - although come to think of it he was saying he would do a proper quote on headed paper so it looked all formal etc for the Ex - so maybe he'll bring it round?!

aw - how sweet is this. i text him to say my phone was broke and i couldnt reply, and he said somone was selling one at work for £5. and he could get it for me if i wanted.

bless him - see, nice!

sponge, i like kissing too. you know when the kissings gone its all gone to pot. my ex husband used to tell me i wasnt allowed to kiss him unless 'you intend to finish what you start' arsehole!

Snogging is fantastic and agree, it is the kiss of death when you don't snog anymore. Happened with my & ex-H too. Made me so sad.
Sponge, hope you get a personal quote delivery!

I am so rooting for watch s new bloke. :)

see- you think hes nice too. even though i keep being a little bit mean and looking for bad things.
that is nice, isnt it.
AND he remembered what phone it was, we havent even had a phone conversation, ( because we arent 12) so, he just knew, and then found one and then said he would get it for me. but said that he was sorry he cant get it to me until later today. thats fucking lovely isnt it.
:) :)

post - forgot to say about mr music - friends are good,sometimes it doesnt work out, but if you can go to gigs and stuff together, thats great.

I am utterly on his side (unless he does anything really stupid, in which case i shall maintain i always thought he was a cunt and plot revenge with you!)

haha, you are meant to be on MY side :)

no, hes totally nice, and thoughtful and im just crazy :)
but its ok :)
he doesnt know that :)
and yes, if he turns out to be a dick, then yes, plot revenge and call him names with me, while we all pretend he was an idiot all along :)

I'm on his side, because i'm on your side! :) I am futurescaping! ;)

i like that word :)

i seeing him again tonight, he asked if i wanted to...... but said it was ok if i didnt.
and well, DD is with her dad, so, why not?
and then tomorrow.
So, that will be evey night since tuesday.

and means my damn bed linen has been changed 4 times this week.
!!!!!!!

at least it's being changed for a good reason. I changed my bedding and it never saw any action!!