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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Support thread for survivors of childhood sexual abuse PART 3

999 replies

CailinDana · 16/04/2012 17:38

The first two parts of this thread:
Part 1
Part 2

The purpose of these threads is to allow survivors of childhood sexual abuse, their partners, friends, or parents, to talk in a safe place about what they think and feel. Nothing is off limits or taboo, just say what you want to say.

OP posts:
dottyspotty2 · 17/04/2012 09:31

Not far from me Dontknow

TheLaminator · 17/04/2012 09:33

How upsetting Dotty. Hope you`re not too freaked out.

Thanks for the chance to think things through on here about our sons party. feel much better about it today. Fingers crossed I can book somewhere short notice, or its a back garden job again :)

Plink, your future wedding sounds great!! I got married in green Grin

TOTU · 17/04/2012 09:40

Sorry, totally selfish post from me as I have to run.

I'm dreading my hair appointment. I don't want to go. I don't want to make polite conversation. I am trying sooooooooo hard not to take a diazepam. I have got to learn to cope.

This is what single-parenthood and lack of self-esteem has done to me.

I want to cry. Over getting my hair cut.

Pathetic. Truly pathetic. And my new mobile phone is rubbish and won't allow me internet access so I can't even turn to you lot while I'm out.

I need to pull myself together.

Sorry.

TheLaminator · 17/04/2012 09:40

Bollocks, i missed a whole page, you lot are quick. I`m on my 2nd coffee in its 2rd mug coz the others tasted of horrible dishwasher stuff, lemony coffee. bbllgh.

Morning all, hope everyone has had their first brew & its stopped raining by you. The sun is trying here, but its still frigging cold.

TheLaminator · 17/04/2012 09:40

*3rd

Original poster
CailinDana · 17/04/2012 09:41

I would go with you if I could TOTU. Don't feel like you have to pull yourself together, what you're feeling is understandable.

OP posts:
Original poster
CailinDana · 17/04/2012 10:44

No brew yet for me Laminator :( Hurry up bloody Tesco!!!

OP posts:
dottyspotty2 · 17/04/2012 10:46

wont tell you how many i've had Cailin if I was you I'd keep a bottle/carton of long life milk in just in case.

Original poster
CailinDana · 17/04/2012 10:47

I can't stand long life milk :( I need to learn to buy more milk, we seem to be using a lot more of it than we used to.

OP posts:
DontKnowWhatToDoAnymore · 17/04/2012 11:00

Oh dear Cailin, I'd be climbing the walls by now. I'm still trying to wean myself off the caffeine there's more chance of me cartwheeling a marathon!

DontKnowWhatToDoAnymore · 17/04/2012 11:00

Oh dear Cailin, I'd be climbing the walls by now. I'm still trying to wean myself off the caffeine there's more chance of me cartwheeling a marathon!

Original poster
CailinDana · 17/04/2012 11:03

There's no way I can do without caffeine, I've accepted that!

OP posts:
dottyspotty2 · 17/04/2012 11:04

I need it to get through the day my sleeps gone down the pan again if I go to bed after 2/3 i'm fine sleep to 7/8 still not enough any earlier and i'm awake half the night its bloody pants x

dottyspotty2 · 17/04/2012 11:04

do you have any redbull to get you started

bamboo24 · 17/04/2012 11:05

I'm using cups of tea as a replacement for cigarettes. I know it's a bad way to quit but it is helping loads and although caffeine is also a hard addiction to kick, I'm thinking anything has to be easier than giving up smoking.

Original poster
CailinDana · 17/04/2012 11:05

:( dotty. Why do you think you're ok if you go to bed that late? Is it because you're really tired at that point?

OP posts:
Original poster
CailinDana · 17/04/2012 11:05

Delivery has arrived woohoo!

OP posts:
DontKnowWhatToDoAnymore · 17/04/2012 11:08

Dotty I really do know what you mean. If I didn't have my caffeine I'd be no good to anyone. I am only trying to wean of it because the gp told me to, but she also told me to go cold turkey which was hideous. Tbh I don't know what to do to sort my sleeping out. I need to go back to the gp but of course I now can't get an appointment for 2 weeks.

DontKnowWhatToDoAnymore · 17/04/2012 11:08

Dotty I really do know what you mean. If I didn't have my caffeine I'd be no good to anyone. I am only trying to wean of it because the gp told me to, but she also told me to go cold turkey which was hideous. Tbh I don't know what to do to sort my sleeping out. I need to go back to the gp but of course I now can't get an appointment for 2 weeks.

dottyspotty2 · 17/04/2012 11:12

Don't you dare go cold turkey I went through withdrawal symptons about 6 years ago went to dr and she asked about my caffiene intake and told me to start drinking it again then cut down slowly.

dottyspotty2 · 17/04/2012 11:13

Cailin honestly don't know I go to bed tired but wake up as soon as i'm in bed can sleep in chair or on settee

DontKnowWhatToDoAnymore · 17/04/2012 11:19

I only tried for 24 hours, it really was like coming off a drug. Awful.

DontKnowWhatToDoAnymore · 17/04/2012 11:19

I only tried for 24 hours, it really was like coming off a drug. Awful.

PlinkPaSta · 17/04/2012 12:47

Bamboo, all I'll say is E-Lites.

Cailin, welcome to the club :o one pinters hidden in the freezer, god send.

Don'tKnow, I'm down to one a day, started by waiting five minutes longer and having a glass of water.

Totu, good luck, hope you're ok.

Nhan, it's good he's opening up, hope today's ok.

Laminator, green :) lovely, I'm thinking autumn trees, so browns, greens, reds, oranges and golden yellows. Dress lords of the ring stylee.

DontKnowWhatToDoAnymore · 17/04/2012 13:47

Oh god I am having the afternoon from hell. Had a huge panic attack in sainburys, had to dump the shopping and get out before anyone saw me. I feel like such a fool (and still have empty cupboards). Why does this keep happening, I don't even know what caused it. I didn't feel too bad this morning, I just seem to crash at random times.
I had promised dd she could do some painting today but I am so exhausted now I can barely get off the sofa. Have well and truly had enough now. I can't wait another fortnight to see a gp, another fortnight like this and I'll go mad.
Sorry for the self indulgent post, I just needed to get it out.