Hi Stuck, and welcome 
Maybe you're finally starting to think about this, address it, discuss it because you are ready to stop blaming yourself and to have a better life? Counselling will be hard - we were discussing earlier that often it's easier to blame yourself, because it makes you feel you had some 'control' and - in a way - it's scarier to face up to the reality that you had none.
You've built up a lot of coping mechanisms to try to normalise the horror and this has helped you to survive, but you don't need or want those mechanisms any more, so everything's coming to the surface.
If you do go to your GP, you don't have to discuss everything in detail, you can just say you want a referral to a counsellor, and preferably one who specialises in childhood sexual abuse. Do keep in mind that NHS waiting lists for counselling are MASSIVE: you may have to wait months for six weekly sessions and then get spewed out onto the waiting list again.
You don't have to go to your GP at all if you prefer not to; you can go directly to Rape Crisis and get a referral. They may also have contacts for suitable private counsellors if you prefer to go private and that way you can see someone pretty much straight away, and keep seeing the same counsellor for as long as you need to (definitely not the case if you go NHS).
You're not mad, you're not weird and you're not ungrateful. You are reacting normally to having literally survived hell. You should be proud of yourself for coping as well as you have.
And remember, there's no 'typical' victim - Laurence of Arabia was a victim of sexual violence, and he turned out okay.