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Original poster

In shock can't quite believe it............Long Sorry

999 replies

Startingagain88 · 06/03/2012 00:41

I hope someone can give me some good advice as i don't really have any friends and my parents have passed away.
I've been lurking on the relationships part of the forums for a few months now- as I suppose I had a gut feeling there may be something wrong but I didnt expect this.........
Long term DP of 15 years has announced this evening that he is no longer physically attracted to me, or in love with me- he 'cares' for me but that's it......
Hes been having a stressful time at work recently and i knew that something wasn't right but he always said that he was just tired from work.
He told me that he has met a woman who he has had a few drinks with- but nothing 'sexual' has happened between them- he says that he doesn't love her- but then again he doesn't love me!
He then left very upset telling me he was going to a friends, i called to make sure he was ok as he was driving upset and asked whether he got there ok, he said yes, i then asked whether he was with her the line went quiet.....

I'm absolutely devastated and in complete shock...thank god we dont have any children, i loved this man and planned my future around him- i gave him lots of opportunities to tell me what was wrong....i gave up my job last year to support him in his new business venture and we have been eating into my savings all the time only now does he tell me that he doesn't love me........and hasn't for eight months...

I'm now left with no job, no friends and a half done house- I need some help please....................

OP posts:
Original poster
Startingagain88 · 08/03/2012 22:11
  1. He wasnt good with money
  2. He was so sllllllooww at everything
  3. He wanted the reward without the hard slog
  4. He was boring
  5. He didnt want to go anywhere
  6. He when off with OW :)
OP posts:
only4tonight · 08/03/2012 22:12

Give us more then!

My experience is men like this, whether intentionally or not, break you. They make you weak and dependant and when there is no fight left in you and you are completely broken and defenseless they don't want you any more. When they leave and you start getting strong and the old you back they start wanting you again. Just so they can see if they can do any more damage second time around.

Fuck that!

I am not that pretty or clever (i am not dumb either) I am not cool or particularly fnn

UnlikelyAmazonian · 08/03/2012 22:13

lol heehaa.

Continuing the 'lets all be silly girls and rescue these wankers' theme.....

Mine had had an anal stretch and lots of county court judgements for non-payment of bills against him. I still fell for his curious charm....

...even though he had an arse like an elephant and a father who had just given him 135k.

They say love is blind.
But ffs, there's blind and there's clinically dead.

Original poster
Startingagain88 · 08/03/2012 22:13

Unlikely :) :) :) so true

OP posts:
only4tonight · 08/03/2012 22:15

Give us more then!

My experience is men like this, whether intentionally or not, break you. They make you weak and dependant and when there is no fight left in you and you are completely broken and defenseless they don't want you any more. When they leave and you start getting strong and the old you back they start wanting you again. Just so they can see if they can do any more damage second time around.

Fuck that!

I am not that pretty or thin or clever (i am not dumb either) I am not cool or particularly funny. What I am though is me. Me was good enough for my dh. He didn't want to change me or break me. And I love him for it. He is not the only good man in the world there are a few around and you deserve one of them.

Original poster
Startingagain88 · 08/03/2012 22:15

Anal stretch..........first laugh i've had in the last few days.... :)

OP posts:
izzyizin · 08/03/2012 22:15

He's calling after 10?

You need to nip that in the bud pdq otherwise it'll be a nightly call to make sure you're not out with another bloke feed his ego with the knowledge that you're sitting lonely as cloud pining for him.

As for your list - jeez, whatever did you see in him and why the fuck did you stay with him longer than 15 minutes?

UnlikelyAmazonian · 08/03/2012 22:16

starting do you know anything about the OW? Do you know who she is or where she works?

What information do you have about her? I feel genuinely sorry for her. Already. She is probably ironing his socks right this minute while he is really slowly telling her about his latest fly-fishing rod and how liberated he feelsnowhecangoflyfishingandzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

only4tonight · 08/03/2012 22:16

Booze was my ex biggest downfall too.

only4tonight · 08/03/2012 22:17

Think she means her brother is calling after 10 don't you starting?

AnyFucker · 08/03/2012 22:18

izzy, I think OP's brother is calling after 10

Original poster
Startingagain88 · 08/03/2012 22:19

Only......thats really true i was a completely different person when i met him....he changed me and not in a good way......

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 08/03/2012 22:19

those lists look like a 10 of "inadequate fuckwit"

AnyFucker · 08/03/2012 22:19

101

UnlikelyAmazonian · 08/03/2012 22:20

starting is your brother available? Wink

I am very old nice. Grin

Original poster
Startingagain88 · 08/03/2012 22:23

Yes its my brother after 10......hes taken im afraid wife kids the lot been married 16 years.........he is nice though :

OP posts:
Original poster
Startingagain88 · 08/03/2012 22:23

1001

OP posts:
UnlikelyAmazonian · 08/03/2012 22:24

Hey, don't diss the lists sister.

romneymarsh · 08/03/2012 22:25

um what is an anal stretch? Starting hope your having a good laugh because I am. Mine ex had a few annoying things too:-

  1. Applied Oil of Olay at least 6 times a day, I was the one who had to buy it!
  2. Foreplay what was that?
  3. Money, earned 4 times what I did but still said I'll go halves on things.
  4. Drove a really old banger that he was forever repairing!

Starting please listen to these wonderful ladies, I didnt and did what you are doing sitting round a table chatting trying to be my friend, I wasted 6 months before I went NC, I was suicidal and had to go NC for my health and sanity. Dont delay the inevitable.

fengirl1 · 08/03/2012 22:39

  1. he used to scratch his gonads and sprinkle pubes everywhere

  2. he was too lazy to cut his own toenails unless he really had to ( and used to get infected toes because of it)

  3. he had really long nostril and ear hair....

(what the hell did I see in him???)

Keep going! Grin

romneymarsh · 08/03/2012 23:34

Ha ha Fen gosh ear hair, that reminded me, I had to pluck them for him, wonder if he gets OW to pluck them for him! Grin

izzyizin · 08/03/2012 23:36

Hope you had a good chat with your bro...

Original poster
Startingagain88 · 09/03/2012 00:18

Hi, just got off the phone with my brother nearly two hours on the phone!!- Feel better, thanks you so much for encouraging me to call...........

OP posts:
RachyRach30 · 09/03/2012 01:24

Are you okay? Hope you manage to get some sleep tonight.

Original poster
Startingagain88 · 09/03/2012 05:35

Up at five this morning.. only four hours sleep..........

That frightened feeling again........the realisation that you are alone after so long as a couple is crippling.......hes alright he has OW to snuggle up to i have nonone................... :(

Im not crying as much as i think i should do.....i think im in shock really about it all....im not eating, not sleeping- in a zombie like state really.....

OP posts: