Are relationships work?

[menopausemad]

What do you do when your marriage is crap and your partner truly believes that a good relationship is just good without any effort? When he thinks that you should not have to work at having a happy relationship? When he believes you do not need to make any effort to makes things work if you were truly meant to be together? This is after 20 plus years of marriage, an affair and total loss of trust and security. He does not think we should have to work to make things better? We are at an impasse.

and ilove's position was clearly very different from your own - she had a husband who wanted to make things work and communicated with her and they had solid things to work on (whether others agree with those things is irrelevant really - they at least had agreed things to work on and could therefore make progress with both trying and wanting to improve things).

if you can't face yourself what's going on in your own life and marriage then of course you can't support your children in doing the same. youngest will be next.