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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Husband going AWOL

215 replies

ladybird69 · 05/02/2012 21:22

Hi Newbie here, I just need some advice :-( going through a bad patch and husband of 26 yrs keeps going away to get his head together! BUT he takes no clothes with him or brings any back, plus now he doesnt even take his shaver etc!!!! what do you think? i know what my gut feelings are but should i give him the benefit of the doubt as per usual? thanks

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MadAboutHotChoc · 05/02/2012 21:24

What are your gut feelings telling you?

How long has he been like this for? How long does he stay away for? What are his explanations for these absences?

Do you think there is another woman?

ZhenThereWereTwo · 05/02/2012 21:25

Does he come back clean and shaven? If so I would be thinking the worst.

ladybird69 · 05/02/2012 21:26

Gut feeling there's someone else on the scene!!! he disappears quite regularly, often telling me that morning, that he won't be home that night..... no rows or cross words even.

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ladybird69 · 05/02/2012 21:28

he comes back clean shaven, new clothes, stinking of aftershave!!! always comes home late sunday night absolutely knackered!!! Hmmm says it all really huh

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usualsuspect · 05/02/2012 21:29

I think maybe you should not let him come back

foolonthehill · 05/02/2012 21:31
Sad Bolt the door???? He's not even being subtle is he?
ladybird69 · 05/02/2012 21:32

he insists he's done nothing wrong, swears on kids lives.... etc accuses me of being suspicious!!!!

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ladybird69 · 05/02/2012 21:33

Is it really that obvious? i'm so gullible and trusting:-(

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lagrandissima · 05/02/2012 21:34

Go with your gut feeling.

neuroticmumof3 · 05/02/2012 21:34

where does he claim have spent his time? what's his explanation?

joanofarchitrave · 05/02/2012 21:36

Ok, he's done nothing wrong.

do you like him going away? If not, and he won't tell you where he is, or when he will be back, he's doing something wrong.

windsorTides · 05/02/2012 21:36

He's not going away to get his head together. He's very obviously having an affair.

ladybird69 · 05/02/2012 21:37

omg this sounds so pathetic!!! various parts of the country walking and visiting castles (though in the 26 odd years i've known him he's never done this) and no receipts from hotels or brochures. He just disappears and re-appears!!! no explanation.

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foolonthehill · 05/02/2012 21:37

It's never obvious when you're in it.........

usualsuspect · 05/02/2012 21:38

Ask if you can go with him next time?

ladybird69 · 05/02/2012 21:40

Usual, I cant cause I have children and animals to care for

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Itsallgonetitsup · 05/02/2012 21:40

Is he contactable on these weekends he dissapears? What does he do with his mobile?

Next time he goes away for one of his weekends - you go away as well and just dont be there for when he gets back. Treat him to some of the same. If he asks where you have been accuse him of being suspicious and give him the same excuses he gives you.

A taste of his own medicine might make he realise what a selfish twat he is being.

Am very sad for you. I would be very suspicious. Can you follow him and see where he goes perhaps?

usualsuspect · 05/02/2012 21:41

How can he go away without his clothes? most odd

eaglewings · 05/02/2012 21:41

Tell him he is in charge next weekend, kids, animals, the lot....

ladybird69 · 05/02/2012 21:43

Itsall, he never has signal!!! god only knows if there was emergency
cant follow him cause.... oh wait for it he's bought himself new sports car and i dont know reg no!!!! its sounding worse.
He acts injured if I dare question him.

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DorothyGherkins · 05/02/2012 21:44

How old are the children, what animals have you got?

ladybird69 · 05/02/2012 21:45

eaglewings I'd never leave my children and animals with him, he's not nice, though he's mr wonderful to outsiders!!! I'm so lucky and should be thankful.

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Itsallgonetitsup · 05/02/2012 21:46

Was just about to ask the same as DorothyGherkins

How long has he been doing these weekends away? When did it start and is there any pattern as to which weekends? How many times has he gone ?

When did he get the car? Where does he keep it and why dont you know the reg?

Sorry for bombarding you with questions just trying to get the whole picture in the hope I can suggest something to help.

Gay40 · 05/02/2012 21:46

Seriously, what do you need to be told here? All the signs are there - why are you hanging about?

ladybird69 · 05/02/2012 21:47

The youngest is 14!!! and dogs and cats, they hate him so they wouldnt come near house :-(

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