Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Husband going AWOL

215 replies

ladybird69 · 05/02/2012 21:22

Hi Newbie here, I just need some advice :-( going through a bad patch and husband of 26 yrs keeps going away to get his head together! BUT he takes no clothes with him or brings any back, plus now he doesnt even take his shaver etc!!!! what do you think? i know what my gut feelings are but should i give him the benefit of the doubt as per usual? thanks

OP posts:
Selks · 05/02/2012 22:10

Oh good grief how many red flags do you need? He's having an affair. And even of he wasn't why would you want to be with him?? - your kids don't like him, he's not nice, he's secretive, is not showing you any respect .... Why are you with him?

Itsallgonetitsup · 05/02/2012 22:10

I think you are missing my point - yeah he would go mad if you left everything!

And it may just may - make him realise what a selfish twat he is being assuming of course he is just fucking off to clear his head and not to someone else.

LiarsWife · 05/02/2012 22:11

3 phones and no reception on any of them??? You need to tell him he's to go 'sightseeing' permanently !!

Good luck xx

justme13 · 05/02/2012 22:11

hey u sound like i was a month ago i put a tracker on my husbands phone to see where mine was going! check out my topic it might help u (((hugs)))

BayPolar · 05/02/2012 22:12

So many women put up with so much rubbish in their lives.
Is it because they allowed themselves to become financially dependent upon the man?
MN is full of sad, sad stories like this.
Is any marriage happy these days?

Original poster
ladybird69 · 05/02/2012 22:12

stillsquiffy, yep always has, he always off doing what he wants to do, go where he wants, and several jaunts here and abroad on his own per year, I'm left at home looking after kids and pets!!!

OP posts:
TalkinPeace2 · 05/02/2012 22:13

OP
you are a doormat
and you are being treated as such

doinmummy · 05/02/2012 22:14

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet.

Original poster
ladybird69 · 05/02/2012 22:16

Girls, I cant get near his phone! its always next to his ear!!! think I need to go down PI route.
Just cant believe that he would do this!!!

OP posts:
BayPolar · 05/02/2012 22:16

LB
You only have yourself to blame for allowing this to happen.
Doormat indeed.
Your own fault.

Haziedoll · 05/02/2012 22:17

Your kids are grown up why can't you go out for the day?

doinmummy · 05/02/2012 22:18

Exactly...all sounds very odd to me.
Surely the eldest child (adult) can look after everytrhing at home

Original poster
ladybird69 · 05/02/2012 22:18

I am a doormat, he so angry that I should even question him!!!
Doinmummy, this is no wind-up :-( do I sound that pathetic? I'm just so desparate for my happy ever after:-(

OP posts:
BayPolar · 05/02/2012 22:20

Yes, you do sound pathetic to have enabled this empty relationship that has you being used terribly by your awful husband.
Snap out of it.
'Happy ever after'?
You lost that the first time you allowed him to travel alone.

Original poster
ladybird69 · 05/02/2012 22:21

Hazie,Doin, sorry wasnt clear 2 oldest not around they're both off at uni!!! and no family nearby to look after/supervise youngest 2!!!

OP posts:
LiarsWife · 05/02/2012 22:22

OP my stbx slept with his phone under his pillow and take it wrapped up in his
boxers when he went for a shower. I used to lie awake at night thinking 'it is 3 feet away' You don't need to see the phone. You KNOW !! x

Original poster
ladybird69 · 05/02/2012 22:23

Baypolar pls thats bit harsh, fell head over heels at 16!!! now its going tits up pls be gentle

OP posts:
doinmummy · 05/02/2012 22:23

I'm afraid that this does sound so very far fetched to me.
The animals don't like him????
You cant go out for the day and leave your adult children to look after things???
Your husband goes away with no clothes and comes back in different clothes smelling of after shve??????
He has 3 phones ????
He's bought a car that you seem to know nothing about and he doesn't even keep it at home????

Really???

storminabuttercup · 05/02/2012 22:23

Have you told anyone in RL and asked for their opinion, if a friend told me this I'd be shaking them and very frustrated! Why are you still there?

Original poster
ladybird69 · 05/02/2012 22:24

LiarsWife I really know where you're coming from. I know I'm just grasping at straws :-(

OP posts:
Haziedoll · 05/02/2012 22:25

Unless there are special needs the 16 and 13 year old are old enough to be left on their own for the day. At 13 I was looking after other peoples children.

Original poster
ladybird69 · 05/02/2012 22:28

Honestly Doin, he has 6+ cars so its diff to keep track! 3 phones for businesses, bit of an arthur daly, and older kids not on the scene.
In RL all of my friends and family hate him!!! always have done, yet new comers love him cause he's such fun!!!

OP posts:
Haziedoll · 05/02/2012 22:30

Is he a character off a soap that none of us obviously watch?

ShineYourButtonsWithBrasso · 05/02/2012 22:30

Why can't the 16 year old look after the 13 year old for a day?

Who is Hun?

Original poster
ladybird69 · 05/02/2012 22:31

He is a right 'nice' character !!! I do enable him don't I?

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread