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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Just found a condom wrapper

582 replies

KissMyShineyRedA · 20/12/2011 14:54

I'm freaking out. As some of you know my DP went on a business trip. He borrowed my bag for hand luggage. I've just found the corner piece of a condom wrapper. I don't know what to do. I need to ask him face-to-face. Is there any way this could be innocent?! Help

OP posts:
Original poster
KissMyShineyRedA · 20/12/2011 16:22

I know it's for me as he said last night I need a nice pink one on the bracelet to add some colour and this one has a pink gem

OP posts:
Original poster
KissMyShineyRedA · 20/12/2011 16:23

I will definitely update. Promise Smile

OP posts:
Itsallgonetitsup · 20/12/2011 16:23

When are you next due to stay at his? Are you ever left in his place alone? Can you not get over there when he is out under some excuse, dunno help him wrap his gifts or to get something done for him he should have done by now for Xmas, cook something for him etc. Then have a little nosey around?

ouryve · 20/12/2011 16:24

AFFAMP - DH does it. He's had a vasectomy, but keeps condoms to deal with that particular mess.

AnyFuckerForAMincePie · 20/12/2011 16:24

OP, you are still going to move in with this man that makes you feel like this, aren't you ?

I hope you don't give up your financial independence and that you retain somewhere to go to when if this goes tits-up again

AnyFuckerForAMincePie · 20/12/2011 16:26

Well, I have to believe you, ourvye but what's wrong with a few tissues ? Xmas Confused

Does he have a phobia of his own spunk ?

Malificence · 20/12/2011 16:29

I don't get this "posh wank" thing, men generally don't like condoms so why would they use one to masturbate? The only thing I can think of is if they use one of those male sex toys and it saves washing it out?

I hope you get the answers you need KissMy.

redrubyshoes · 20/12/2011 16:30

Why all the sneaking around looking for evidence? If you thought a friend was lying to you about something would you be to going to her house and looking for evidence and going through her phone and other personal effects?

Or would you just ask her?

A relationship should also be a friendship based on trust.

ouryve · 20/12/2011 16:32

He produces quite copious amounts and it's rather, um, fragrant. It ends up being a lot of tissues, his t-shirt and a trip to the bathroom (downstairs) for a wash, anyhow. Sometimes catching the mess in the first place is just easier and a lot more conducive to rolling over and going to sleep.

PeppermintPasty · 20/12/2011 16:33

Well, here we go...I asked my dp about this earlier as I know he has done it from time to time. He said if you're using a tissue you have to sort of "hold back" until you know you're lined up, so to speak. He said he uses a condom for a quick wank when he doesn't want to hold back or worry about getting it in the wrong place!!!

That's the best I can do. Xmas Biscuit

AnyFuckerForAMincePie · 20/12/2011 16:35

Men produce little more than a tablespoon with an ejaculation, ourvye

Even the "copious" producers Xmas Hmm

And if it smells funny, he should see the doctor

Do you have a phobia about it, then ? Sorry to pin you down, but this is inexplicable to me

Luminescence · 20/12/2011 16:35

The charm might not be for you or he might have bought you both the same one

DeckTheHugeWithBoughsOfManatee · 20/12/2011 16:36

I'm with redruby. I'm actually Shock at all this talk of sneaking around. It just seems really OTT and assuming the worst.

Malificence · 20/12/2011 16:37

Well you learn something new every day. Smile

AnyFuckerForAMincePie · 20/12/2011 16:37

< shakes head in confusion >

each to their own

Sorry to hijack your thread, OP

PeppermintPasty · 20/12/2011 16:37

Xmas Wink...or should that be [fwank]...

troisgarcons · 20/12/2011 16:38

On the otherhand - what clothes did he take with him?

Is it possible he had a wrapper in his jeans pocket from ages ago and just emptied his pockets?

With regard to the 'posh wank' - my teenage son uses condoms to wank in Xmas Hmm

PeppermintPasty · 20/12/2011 16:40

Yes, enough of that. All power to you OP.

Malificence · 20/12/2011 16:41

That I can understand TG, no mess/extra washing for you and it also means he won't have problems using them with a partner win/win Smile.

troisgarcons · 20/12/2011 16:41

The bag. You say you bought it but never used it?

Any possibility that someone else previously bought it - used it - returned it to the shop and it just went back on display?

Lots of people do that one-wear with clothes then take them back for refunds (usually after carefully removing a button or letting down a hem)

Abitwobblynow · 20/12/2011 16:42

If you ask him, look for two things:

  1. the panicked wide eyed 'deer in the headlights' look
  2. aggression/anger/indignation, turning it back onto you. Innocent people say things along the lines of 'no, why would you be asking me that'?

Personally, I would be putting a voice-activated recorder under his bed/near where he takes his calls. I wish I had done that, it would have saved months of lies.

AnyFuckerForAMincePie · 20/12/2011 16:45

also look for the slow "blush"

I can never lie. I always go pink.

PeppermintPasty · 20/12/2011 16:46

I think the bag-bought-before theory is too unlikely, more's the pity.

redrubyshoes · 20/12/2011 16:48

OK - what if he has had a shag with someone? What happens next?

DeckTheHugeWithBoughsOfManatee · 20/12/2011 16:49

It could have been a scrap in his sponge bag from ages ago. I find all kinds of crap in my travel washbag that's been there for years sometimes Confused

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