Just found a condom wrapper

[KissMyShineyRedA]

I'm freaking out. As some of you know my DP went on a business trip. He borrowed my bag for hand luggage. I've just found the corner piece of a condom wrapper. I don't know what to do. I need to ask him face-to-face. Is there any way this could be innocent?! Help

*Maybe I'm just going to have to believe him, as stupid as that may sound, a trust him.

Thank you for your advice madonna, amelia and dreaming*

That's okay
I too though think you are in denial.

Partly because you have kept ducking my question about your bag and how a bit of a condom wrapper could have got in there when it's a bag you never use/used. This is one fact you seem in denial over. It just seems so unlikely that an unused bag was lying next to the bed, open, and a ready recepticle for waste condom wrappings!

I would not want to move in with a man withthis doubt hanging over me UNLESS I could get to the place mentally where even with doubts, I forgave him and was prepared to forget it all.

If you cna do that , okay- but otherwise you will start the next stage of this relationship on the back foot, be insecure, and it won't work out.
Good luck whatever happens.

I didn't intentionally dodge questions, sorry, I must have missed it.

The bag was under my bed for many years, I did use it once, I can't say what for as it will out me but for a hospital trip. I then had the bag open under the bed after. A few months ago during a clear out I shoved about 3 handbags inside the holdall to store.

It does seem unlikely that a piece got in through. But me and my DP did use condoms at the beginning of the relationship, once in my bed.

It's still unlikely. But I don't have enough proof to end it for me.

If there was a text or email backing up the evidence, it would be over. However there is not. So now I'm in limbo. What if I end it and he was innocent?

Well you don't have to end it but you could hold off on moving in together.

Kiss,

Ultimately, you either trust the guy or you don't. Maybe he had sex on his hol but the condom wrapper was not his. Maybe he has sex in his lunchbreak with a work colleague in a hotel room. Anything is possible. You can never know 100% what any partner is doing when they are out of your sight. Constant suspicion is no way to live a life, for either of you.

And, think about it, maybe he is wondering whether you had sex with another man and the condom wrapper dropped out of the bed while you were doing it. How would you like to be accused of that? You could not prove that it did not happen.

There seems a coterie of people here determined to break relationships up on the flimsiest of evidence. The reality is that you either trust him and love him or you don't. Only you know the answer to that question.

I would just add that it might be useful to consider what you would do if he had cheated and if he admitted it. Infidelity doesn't always mean that people have to break up. Many people would say that they could never be with someone who has cheated and that may be correct for them. I guess what I'm saying is that if he did (or potentially does cheat in the future) is it a dealbreaker for you?

How are things with you guys now OP?
I'm not sure what to believe to be fair, you'd thi k the whole wrapper would be in there if he'd used it not just a corner and even if he had used it how would the corner get into the bag?
That doesn't quite add up for me.
But the doubt would do my head in, who did he go on the business trip with?

I'd have thought the fact he was having erection problems, now after this trip, coupled with the condom evidence pointed directly to him having been unfaithful.

His body is telling you the truth even if the rest of him isn't.