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advice needed desperately regarding social services

881 replies

wannabestressfree · 28/09/2011 21:10

I am desperate for some advice and wondered if anyone could help......

I have three sons. 14,10 and 7. My oldest is aspergers and ADHD, self harms daily and has had two stays in mental hospitals. On sunday he attacked me with a knife in front of my middle son. He didn't hurt me but obviously it was very scarey. He then absconded {he does this a lot} and eventually the police took him to hospital.

A house officer phoned me in the morning and said he would be requiring inpatient treatment but he is medicating at the moment [he is on a childrens ward} and so they have reversed the decision and say he is fit to return home. He self harms daily and his special education school has told social services they are refusing to have him back. I work full time as a teacher.

I told social services I wouldn't have him in the house......... this is after years of asking for help and they have phoned today and said they will give me respite for a week by placing him in foster care in our old home town. I cannot believe they would do this as this is where he absconds too and drinks and was basically told 'tough'......... no other foster carers would take him due to his mental condition. The social worker insisted I tell my school they were dealing with us {head was super supportive} and said they would be looking at the other children. I am so upset as I just want some help.

He will stop taking his medication when he comes home, attack the other children and roams in and out of the house. We are all exhausted.

So advice please............ do I take him back tomorrow or allow him into foster care that I know is not the right place. I honestly feel like they are emotionally blackmailing me..................

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seaofyou · 04/07/2012 00:14

Oh that is fantastic news wannabe!

Have you visited Oakview? You need to go and see it and get a feel for it's theaupeutic worth! After all you sadly have lots of experience of bad places and your gut instinct will tell you as you go in the door! See if their are other dc functioning like ds too?

Would ds have to go to forensics as on section MHA?

Their is a LD unit their too...see if it is for HFAS like your ds? They do CBT and Behaviour Modification which is good but you need to visit and get feel for place. Is it structured activities? Consequences for behaviours (not punishment based therapy)? Describe ds on worst day possible and see if they blink? Or in other words can they cope! Sounds like they can but you would want ds moved away from forensics as soon as you can?
I like the transition support too!

Have you told the hospital, LEA and SS you are going to radio? Maybe just maybe they may move ds fast to ind to ensure bad press is avoided...it's worth it to save time etc going through MH and LEA tribunals!

You have not second but 100th wind back as you just keep going for your lovely boy:)

You are incredible Wannabe and your ds sounds so much better want want to be close to you so much. This move will only help ds heal with his amazing mom their supporting him all the way!