advice needed desperately regarding social services

[wannabestressfree]

I am desperate for some advice and wondered if anyone could help......

I have three sons. 14,10 and 7. My oldest is aspergers and ADHD, self harms daily and has had two stays in mental hospitals. On sunday he attacked me with a knife in front of my middle son. He didn't hurt me but obviously it was very scarey. He then absconded {he does this a lot} and eventually the police took him to hospital.

A house officer phoned me in the morning and said he would be requiring inpatient treatment but he is medicating at the moment [he is on a childrens ward} and so they have reversed the decision and say he is fit to return home. He self harms daily and his special education school has told social services they are refusing to have him back. I work full time as a teacher.

I told social services I wouldn't have him in the house......... this is after years of asking for help and they have phoned today and said they will give me respite for a week by placing him in foster care in our old home town. I cannot believe they would do this as this is where he absconds too and drinks and was basically told 'tough'......... no other foster carers would take him due to his mental condition. The social worker insisted I tell my school they were dealing with us {head was super supportive} and said they would be looking at the other children. I am so upset as I just want some help.

He will stop taking his medication when he comes home, attack the other children and roams in and out of the house. We are all exhausted.

So advice please............ do I take him back tomorrow or allow him into foster care that I know is not the right place. I honestly feel like they are emotionally blackmailing me..................

Brilliant!! I would like to donate towards the wool too. Thank you for investigating CiderwithBuda.

I'm glad you like the idea Zombie you have summed up my feelings perfectly. Personally, I have an overwhelming urge to give Wannabe's son a hug, a MN blanket is the next best thing

Have been reading the thread and keeping up with things Wannabe. Haven't posted much but this thread has been in my thoughts.
Glad to hear that DS is feeling a bit brighter after your worry of the other day, and I'm also glad that your blood sugar settled enough for you to stay out of hospital.
It's cool that DS is asking for art materials....must be a sign that he is feeling alright at least some of the time.
Selks x

By way of preamble, I'm inordinately fond of the old adage 'everything comes to those who wait' and it's often the case that it's better to do nothing in haste as, given time, the bigger picture will usually emerge.

It seemed to me that there was more to the peremptory closure of the BY than was apparent at the time, and it seemed probable that one or more of the absconders who had come to the unit through the Youth Justice system was facing trial for, or had been convicted of, a serious offence.

As I was confident that given time all would be revealed, I pm'd you the names of the 3 other patients who were able to remove, and climb out of, a window of this secure forensic facility without let or hindrance and roam at large for considerably longer than the 7 hours it took your ds to return himself to the unit.

Some 4 days after he'd escaped from the unit, one of those patients was apprehended on the Kent coast where he was attempting to to make his way across the Channel and my only surprise when reading the following report is that the reason behind the Bethlem's knee-jerk reaction to close the BY has come to light sooner rather than later: www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2143581/How-did-15-year-old-asylum-seeker-slip-net-nearly-kill-foster-mother.html

I daresay that Bethlem managers and staff will be heaving a sigh of relief that the press do not appear to have made the connecton... yet

May I suggest that as a matter of courtesy you appraise Bob Stewart MP of your discovery the above report and take the opportunity to ask him if he has received any response to the questions he tabled in Parliament?

Somewhat fortuitously, I happen to have some free time available tomorrow to amuse myself make a few phone calls and I'm reasonably sure that I'll be able to overcome my historic reluctance to speak to journalists

izzy, you are a star.

Wow Izzy! Just wow.

Have just spent the last hour reading this thread and feel very upset for what you and your ds, who is still afterall a child, are having to endure.

I have no advice to offer whatsoever but want to say that you are obviously the most determined, loving and caring Mum who is more than willing to fight for her son and I really really hope that you and your ds come through this.

Very trivial I know,but amending sending and chocolate emoticon for when the need arises!

Izzy . You should be a PI!

It's odd. Apparently the sentence was handed down on 27 April but, as far as I can see, there's been no press coverage until the Fail ran the story yesterday.

Also as far as I can see, no locals or other nationals have run it... but that will can be easily remedied

Btw there is a record of previous escapes from the BY but, as none of which resulted in it's closure, it would seem that this one patient's case history was the cause of wannabe's ds and those of other dps, being summarily despatched to other facilities - and that, in itself, is worthy of press attention.

What is to be gained from that, Izzy?

well done izzy.

hhope everything is getting a little better wannabe?

Hi everyone
Sorry I haven't posted for a while. I have been really poorly and still feel like death warmed up. Have been advised I need a stoma bag as my crohns is nor really doing well and am waiting for a date to go into Guy's /St Thomas's.

Ds is doing well. Still a bit up and down but is back with the general populace on the ward. I am still waiting for his leave to be given back and it looks like it may this weekend. I am tempted to ask if I can take the children and will take the train to Birmingham. I can't face the drive.

Will pop back on later

Sorry to hear you are so poorly. Pleased to hear DS is back with the others that's good. Hope you get to see him this weekend.

Glad to hear that DS is doing well, that's fab news....sorry to hear about your health issues though, that's not good . Life certainly knows how to keep the challenges coming, sometimes.....

It looks like his leave for visitors will be lifted tomorrow. He will also be allowed to go back to school. He sounded very upbeat on the phone tonight and was talking about when he leaves and comes home.

I had to ring and speak to the nurse earlier to say I just can't travel at the mo. I feel so guilty but am on a cocktail of drugs and tramodol and morphine :[ I feel so ill but managed to keep it from Ds. I looked into getting the train but its six hours. I am going to try and get a lift next weekend. I think everything is just catching up with me........

Had a letter from the Maudsley to say there is going to be another independent inquiry and did it give permission for his notes to be released. Have left a couple of messages with the solicitor but assume it ok to agree?

SL&M want you to give permission for ds's notes to be released? Released to who/what organisation?

Don't agree to anything until you have spoken to the solicitor.

Hiya Wannabe.
Good news that your Ds is improving. Look after yourself,hope your health starts to improve...
Been checking to see how your doing.
Take care,
Best wishes. X

Oh wannabe you are very ill..you cant keep fighting like this against a system that will kill you:(

Please try and take time out....which I know you won't as your a fighter...but an ill one!

Have you thought of CFGF, HBOT and LDN for your Crohns?

I don't know if this is suitable but as closer to home as you cant keep doing these journies being unwell but...here maybe suitable for ds as will meet ds educational needs too and closer commute?
Glad ds is brighter:)

journeys

No still no visit. Was really devastated as assumed he would get it this week. I have lodged a complaint as I feel the issues he is being 'punished' for are aspergers and not mental health related eg obsessive behaviour.

I miss him terribly........

Did you read my thread above with the 'here' attachment wannabe?

Mental health have not a clue about Aspergers Syndrome...you need to get him moved...the unit in above post is start??

seaofyou, haven't you heard of CAMHS? Aspergers and ASD come under the 'mental health' umbrella.

Hippo If you look up the train circ for mental health they do not cover ASD.

Go ask the parents on SN children ( I am one of them) there experience will tell you this too!

When I told my friend ds had ASD ( a mental health nurse manager) she said 'what's the cure for that then!'
They know as much as Joe blogs!

Autism/aspergers is NOT a mental illness. The only reason the need for CAHMS is because the psychiatrist will diagnosis it. It is covered in Learning Disability Nursing as classed as condition you are born with not something you develop from stress post birth.

Just trust me I know!

Maybe it is different in your area, however I have had some great advice from the CAMHS team here, including resources and ongoing support. It's a shame if that level of service is not available nationally.

I am very well aware that ASD is a condition you are born with.