The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Here's To STAYING On A Sober Holiday!

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse

I have an abusive and volatile relationship with alcohol.

This is the Brave Babes Bus, it's filled with sober, drinking and somewhere in between Babes who are all here for the journey ahead, whatever that may entail.

EVERYONE is welcome on this Bus. No-one will judge what you are going through, what you drink, what you don't or what you do.

Come take a seat.

Take a peek at the journeys so far (including the thread by JWN that started this whole journey off) HERE

It seems to be some sort of iron rich water from Wales that you mix into your orange juice.

Morning all - am heading to the end of the day today. but Tuesday's at work always finish with a 2-hour conference call with the UK and US, which normally makes me want to rip my own hair out with tweezers.

Hi saf am feeling OK-ish. Very -ish.

Actually I seem to be not feeling very healthy - have a compromised (sp?) immune system ATM, which means I keep picking up colds and bugs - have a bout of the sniffles, have lost my sense of taste and smell and am so so so very tired.

I tend to worry too much about everything - even when I don't have anything to worry about, and as a result I don't get a lot of sleep. I mean, I lie awake thinking about what happens if I lose my job, and really there's no reason for me to think I will - work is one area in my life where I do really well. But I can't seem to stop fretting.

All linked back to my OCD issues (not major ones, but anxiety is one symptom). I think I need to tackle some of these issues - stopping the voices in my head keeping me up is actually one of the "benefits" that I convinced myself of as far as drink goes. of course, all bull, but the worries just keep coming.

Am also having marriage wobbles ATM, worried about what happens if DH continues drinking and I stay stopped, or vice versa. Does this mean an inevitable end to the marriage?

Aaaargh - it all seems so hard. Funnily enough, the not drinking is feeling like the easiest part of it all right now.

Hello Isinde - nice to meet you too and well done on Day 4.

Right - home stretch before I can leave - will check in later.

And don't forget Vitamin B (B1, B2, B6, B12) - depleted by excess alcohol consumption, and wonderful for making your eyes sparkle, your skin look a bit healthier, and for repair of tissue and nervous system functioning [venus falls off soap-box]

legal if you've been drinking a lot, and have cut down, your body will be doing lots of restorative and repair work. While we're drinking heavily a lot of our body systems work at full tilt trying to eliminate toxins and prevent damage to essential systems (liver, kidneys etc). This doesn't leave much capacity left over for repairing the rest of our bodies - skin, hair etc. So when we stop / cut down drinking there's a backlog of repair work to be tackled. I think that that is partly why we feel so tired for a while. Then little by little the energy creeps back until boing! you feel like jesus

It is very, rare that I would ever correct anyone on here, but saf I have to point out that is was jesus who admitted to being a crazy dancing fiend. Dancing (particularly crazy dancing with my friends) is not in my repetoire, not even when really, really pissed. I would so hate people on here to get the mistaken idea that the calm, serene, meditating Venus would be seen bopping like a loon

I have b-b-b-b-berocca giving me back my b-b-bounce! (err - did you guys have that campaign over here?)

Is that the stuff that gives you fluorescent yellow wee?

Yep, for sure.

HI everyone

BAck without my DC's again this week although I had them back at the weekend. My DD was 8 at the weekend, she seems so much older. Doing well on not drinking too much and getting lots done around the house whilst its quiet. Not much more to report at the mo. Seen quite a bit of my XP who I used to live with and so far he seems very different/mature (he was emotionally abusive) but I'll see if he continues to be like that as he may just be on his best behaviour to 'win me over'

Hi Noteven Mouse Indie Ma Thurso Venus and JWN

Feeling very stuck again at the moment, and have an underlying feeling of anxiety for no specific reason, would love if I could just find a way to move forward and do something with my life other than just work.

I have found a really nice site. I think it is the online version. They all seem to be so supportive of each other, just like this thread.

forums.delphiforums.com/aamolly/messages/?start=Start+Reading+%3E%3E

They are all so nice there. I have been lurking for a bit. JJxx

Just popping in to say hello - not on line much this week but doing okay. Do message me if I can help anyone.

S

saf - am considering seeing someone, maybe a CBT therapist, to deal with the OCD issues, which are feeling like they have the potential to become a major issue if I don't tackle them. I've got so many things on the boil ATM - health issues for me, FIL, DH away, work pressure is never ending - I think maybe talking things through to help me order my thoughts would be a good idea.

Or I'll just end up with a very organised house - cleaning my way through problems has worked for me in the past DH is going to come home to find his underwear colour coded and his DVD collection filed by genre!

Laughing at the flourescent wee! Might give that a try. venus - am waiting for the "boing" to arrive - hope it comes soon!

saf - actually, that's one positive, which is that my bank balance is already healthier after the weekend

Hi MIFLAW - good to see you.

Hello Babes

Well, I had one bottle of beer last night, in a tall glass topped up with lemonade. It lasted the whole night. I had no sleep because I'm re-adjusting again but I woke up feeling alive.

Even though I have so much to deal with, much more than any other day, I feel pleased and proud of myself for not getting shit faced last night to cope with the fuckwittery of our builders.

I am mouse, hear me ROAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh, and Tesco do their own version of Berocca, it's half the price and actually has MORE essential B-vits than it's brand competitor.

Spatone is ideal with fresh OJ too, as saf says, this helps it to absorb better into the system so it get's to work as it should instead of sitting in your gut, dissolving.

Obrigada - can I help? Can we help? Do you want to open up a bit more and let some more out? You seem very fragile of late, how can we help you? xx

TheBoss - I'm about to look into some sort of help, I have a very lovely friend coming to stay for a few days and I'm going to ask her how best to go about things. I keep having horribly vivid dreams about my XP (he abused, raped, and battered me, etc) and I need to get him out of my head once and for all. I can't move forward unless he is out of my head. It's starting to creep into my every day life again and I will not let him destroy what I have rebuilt.

I hope you find something or someone that works for you xx

Isinde - I will pop some new picks on here if Nemo, he is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO big now compared to a few months ago. Lovely to hear about the girls walking and being into everything.

I have to say that I'm glad DP has issued you with an ultimatum. It was bound to happen really sweets. Keep going. It's worth it. You have a beautiful DP, two gorgeous girls who desperately need you and us!

DD2 will soon stop the crying, even though it breaks your heart in two when you have to leave her, she'll soon learn that life is actually lots of fun out there and be excited to go.

DD took a while to let go of me when she first started nursery. It hurts but they miss you so the collection is always so much nicer than the drop off!

Anyway, you are always missed on this Bus. Stay xx

Hi mouse so lovely to hear you ROAR and well done on the ONE beer.

Yes, yes to getting some help. You are worth so much more than unhelpful memories of your ex.

Loving hearing the mouse roar! about what you went through. Definitely find someone to talk to, don't let the bastard destroy the amazing strides you've made

Hello all. Day 3 here - bring it on. Interesting to read about the tiredness thing/body rebuilding thing. Had a massive headache and was tired last night (although found it hard to get to sleep without a hit of alcohol to knock me out). Tired again today and have a sore throat, which is unusual. Trying to eat healthily - avocado and salad for lunch, plus some carbs for energy.

Day 3 is usually when I crack and start having a glass or two before it starts creeping back up again. DH will be expecting it, I'm sure. So will be on high alert this evening. I don't think he realises that this is serious this time.

We're going away at the weekend as well, and will have meals out etc. That will be a test, as he'll be expecting me to participate pre dinner drinks, a bottle of wine etc etc. Let's cross that bridge when we come to it.

Also last night when DH kissed me goodnight, he stank of booze and I recoiled (doesn't bother me when I'm pissed too). If he's intent on drinking every night and I'm intent on staying sober, how is this going to work? Ho hum.

Evening Babes!! I hope you don't mind me popping in I have been thinking...(steady MissP) I am in the process of coming to terms with the fact that I will always have a demon on my shoulder. Most of the time these days it doesn't bother me, but every now and then it wakes up, and puts unhelpful thoughts into my head, like ear worms. Please excuse my extraordinary use of metaphors. So I'm thinking thats ok, I have other unwelcome "visitors" in my life, that I have accepted and learned to live with, like grey hairs, thread veins, knees that creak and wrinkles. Then there are the really big ones like loss, endings and change. I think what I am trying to say is, I feel like I need to learn to live with my demon, recognise it, and be able to deal with it swiftly, before the 'ear worm' becomes a full blown obsessing/projecting fest that bamboozles me for days at a time. I am posting this even though I am not completely sure if it will make a word of sense, to anyone. It helps to get it out of my head. As you were. Thanks babes. x

That sounds good saf. No need to have any particular goal (unless having a goal is the ony way that you'll achieve things), and taking it little by little seems to be wrking well for you. Have a nice break, and come back and see us

Just read my post back, man I sound pretty