The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Here's To STAYING On A Sober Holiday!

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse

I have an abusive and volatile relationship with alcohol.

This is the Brave Babes Bus, it's filled with sober, drinking and somewhere in between Babes who are all here for the journey ahead, whatever that may entail.

EVERYONE is welcome on this Bus. No-one will judge what you are going through, what you drink, what you don't or what you do.

Come take a seat.

Take a peek at the journeys so far (including the thread by JWN that started this whole journey off) HERE

ISINDI!!!! i dont care what day you are on, its just nice to have you back!!! hows the dts then? doing any new tricks?

legal - you would not believe the way im now a trend setter amoung my friends!! as soon as i told my bf about my alcoholism she gave up too as she wanted to support me (what a friend eh?!) all my other girlfriends have cut down massively too, a few confessed to feeling concerned about their wine consumption and took my 'announcement' as a marker for themselves - i can honestly say i have not noticed a change in the way we behave when we are all together, the social scene is just the same, we talk, laugh, dance (read scream with laughter and daft dancing! ) we all just remember what we did in the morning!

Hello Babes!

I'm trying to put off the ironing!!

Isindie my lovely one, how wonderful to hear from you. Please don't get off the bus again. Drinking or no, I love to read your posts. I do know that sometimes one doesn't feel like letting it out until it's over, if you know what I mean. Anyway good to see you.

Well.... I have just been on the phone to my Mum for an hour and a half, she phoned to say thanks for her Birthday present. It was my Mum's Birthday last week, and with all that we had going on, I couldn't get to her on the day, so drove up a couple of days beforehand to leave a present and card. I phoned on the day to send all my love.

She has said that just after I phoned, my sister rang, and asked my Dad to pick her up from the station, "what a lovely surprise" said my Mum, "I'll make some lunch, how lovely of you to surprise me today". "Oh No, my sister said "I've just come to do some shopping", then the penny dropped and there was silence, "Oh no" my sister said "I'm so sorry".

Mum and Dad picked her up from the station, took her shopping and put her back on the train, by which time, Mummy said she was a bit tired. My Mum is her late seventies!!.

And then Mum said to me "well you know what thurso sis is like".

I do bloody know that she texted me from a pop concert, and then in the last week has sent me umpteen texts asking what to do about her son!

I am so sick of being the sensible, responsible, "we know you're ok thurso" one.

Aaargh, sorry had to let it out, sorry.

Hello babes, can I join you. I'm a MN regular (not royalty!) but have namechanged for the moment while I get used to this sober thing.

I read the Allen Carr book over the weekend, and am now on my second day without drink. I'm not sure if I can make sense of it all - it's all a little daunting, but I didn't want to drink particularly last night, and so far hanging in there OK this evening. But a bit of hand holding would be good.

In fact, DH's red wine smelled disgusting yesterday, although I'm more of a white wine person.

For those who've done the AC thing, I never got round to having a final drink. I felt really cheated because I was going to have a lovely crisp glass of white and at the end of the book he tells you to go off and have a glass of neat spirit. Does it matter or should I force myself?

I also have a problem in that DH is a heavy drinker. In fact, I think he has EVEN more of a problem than me. I'm trying to stay positive in the light that he is pretty much in denial of his/our problems. I think we've generally enabled each other to drink way too much, but I've got to face up to realities and stop abusing my body.

Anyway, I plan to no longer be an Old Lush, just newlylush in a different way.

indie thurso venus - old friends. i want to kill DH, now, tonight.
I am shut in the bedroom, trying desperately to avoid going in there and twatting him one with the frying pan. Only the fact that DS goes back to school tomorrow and is already wound up about it is preventing me from letting rip with the mother of all confrontations.I hate hime. Truly, I do.

Welcome NewlyLush - wonderful name, I am at it. One thing I found when I first stopped (I'm drinking currently) is that you really do have to focus on YOU.

Your DH is big and daft enough to look after himself, and no, I've never met him.

So, tell us a bit more about you? What's your poison??

thruso - another one who has to be the sensible, responsible, predictable reliable one. My mother always says that about me. With my family, it's my brother. He's useless but I love him to bits. All families have one! xx

Thank you for the warm welcome.

What's my poison? Pretty much everything - G&T, lager, white wine, brandy, scotch...

OK, time to fess up, even if it's on line. I've been drinking a minimum of 3/4 bottle of white of a weeknight, but usually it's that plus something else like a large scotch. Weekends are worse, with G&Ts, wine and brandy, plus lunchtime drinking. The units have just crept up and up and I've just come back from a major bingefest holiday, so time to stop. I even found myself going to work on Monday mornings a couple of times recently worried that I reeked of booze after an all afternoon/early evening drinking session at barbeques or Sunday lunches.

I also scared myself a couple of months ago when I got more pissed than I have been for years. I think I may have disgraced myself a bit (memory blanks but I know I was talking a load of shite and was slumped all over the place). Luckily I think MOST of the people I was with were in a similar state, but think one or two people were pretty disgusted with my behaviour. I'm still cringeing.

Anyway, I have a glass of Feverfew tonic waiting. DH will be home shortly and will be straight into the fridge for the first beer (which won't touch the sides). Yes, it's going to be a challenge with him being a heavy drinker.

Looking forward to getting to know you all.

ma this is a very late response, but I hope you are OK. You can't go on like this...
Do you want to split? You have hinted before that you can't split, is there really no way you can extricate yourself (IF you want to)?
You seem so unhappy all the time, it isn't good for you or the DC to live like this.

I don't know what else to say, I don't really know you, but I feel that there is another you who is desperately trying to emerge...

Welcome newlylush and well done for putting down in black and white how much you've been drinking. I used to cringe at the '14 units per week' recommendation - I could do that in a day

ma I know that you have a long term plan, but it does sound as though the medium term is just too sad and difficult at times. I've been there many years ago. pm me if you want to chat anytime.

Ok got through day two.

Yes, it's not pleasant reading venusandmars. Always trying to hide the bottles at the bottom of the pile on recycling day!

I feel like I'm hijacking a bit, sorry dementedma.

ma - I hate the sound of you hiding in your bedroom. And hate isn't good for you, or for your DS. Is there really no way to accelerate your long-term plan?

Newlylush - welcome on board! My pile of bottles used to be so big that they really were the whole pile - no chance of hiding them!

Day 10 today - first time I've been in double figures for a very very very long time.

JWN! I got your cosmic boing!! Thank you! My phone got cut off (don't know why, I think I have paid the bill twice now; time will tell). I did the one hour on each room thing that someone suggested and then I couldn't stop. I turned from limpid sofa magnet into a manic whirlwind. Not having an internet connection was a boost.

I am on my last week of abs so should start to feel the money saved by not drinking soon.

Saf; re: single mothers. I have been one. Good God, surely, logically they should be given twice the admiration for doing the job of two? The lack of appreciation was demoralising on a day to day basis. And not being able to share the little triumphs. I think that I had a 'brave' face on for about 5 years. I don't know which threads you are talking about but when I read someone saying they are a single parent my reaction is admiration. Both my parents were brought up by single parents (through bereavement, I am sure that is what drew them to each other) and my biggest memory of my Gran is her saying, 'I had to Battle, Battle, Battle'. Please ignore any ignorant numpties and give yourself double pats on the back.

(Thanks again to Venus for her support during my leper episode, and to all of the NHS; dc came back on Friday and had good time camping. I will go back to humming and haa-ing about drinking in 48 hours when I finish the ABs)

(Mouse; I don't need your help with body disposal in the Midlands but I will keep you to your word if and when I do)

Morning Girls, and Mif if you're around.

Sorry for the age 7yr old rant last night! I came on here to pour it out instead of pouring the bottle! Thank you.

Ma so sorry I wasn'y here last night. How are you this morning? I know you have a long term plan, but with the girls gone at the end of this year, are there any plans you can make for you and DS, to be put into action sooner than later? I hate to hear you sounding so unhappy, I have been there at times, but this sounds as if it never goes away, and is grinding you down. I hope DS goes off to school ok this morning. Sending you love.xxx

Isindie Morning, well done, it is so great to have you back.

Hi Newlylush, great name!

Right going to drag myself off swimming, not such a nice day today, but I felt so much better after I had been yesterday.

Much love to all.
xxxx

Morning all!
Starting the day fairly boingy here too - at an amazing meeting last night and got a positive day planned today. Only as good as I am in the moment, but it's really good to have some good moments, because there were precious few of those when I was drinking, my head was consumed with thoughts of myself, where and when I'd drink next, and how the world was against me.

Isindie so good to see you back!!! As for evenings - is DP back at work? If you have none in the house and she is around, does that help? Meetings if not?
There's a one day AA convention at the Adelphi this Sunday - I can't go in the day as have DD commitments but thought I might go for the evening (which is a whole £3!, not sure of the time it starts tho), don't know if you fancy it (you can just sit and talk and drink diet coke, you don't have to dance, I've only been to one and was amazed by how much fun dancing sober with a load of equally crazy alcoholics is! Not like me at all!)

ma is it bad enough to change yet? Sounds so sad for you.

MissP thank you for sharing what you did - to know that it can be got through, and also to know that others have my mad thoughts really helps.

Hello to all friends old and new thurso, Mouse, jemima, saf, venus, tBoM and anyone I've missed.

X posted!
Hi to Jemima and Saf.

And Noteven!!!
I'm going now

Morning all! Nothing particular to contribute, just popped in to say that I am still monstrously tired, but have taken (I think it was Venus') advice and am trying some spatone to see if more iron helps.

SaF - yes, plan is still to cut out weekday drinking,but if the last couple of weekends are anything to go on this may have the useful side effect of making me want to drink less on the weekend. Another side effect - my sense of taste seems to be improving (read: you can taste more when you're not semi-drunk or hung over...)

Is spatone an iron tablet?