The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Here's To STAYING On A Sober Holiday!

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse

I have an abusive and volatile relationship with alcohol.

This is the Brave Babes Bus, it's filled with sober, drinking and somewhere in between Babes who are all here for the journey ahead, whatever that may entail.

EVERYONE is welcome on this Bus. No-one will judge what you are going through, what you drink, what you don't or what you do.

Come take a seat.

Take a peek at the journeys so far (including the thread by JWN that started this whole journey off) HERE

Have swamped myself with elderflower and muscat cordial and am planning a fennel tea later on. The temptation has passed actually - feel really tired though. Just goes to proe that for me there is a strong time of day factor at work.

checking in. Dh home tonight so had obligatory row. He is a wanker.
managed not to let it escalate and just gave him a very childish "ok. whatever" and walked out.

Hope you OK Ma. Things no better at home then I guess. How are the DC's

DD2 was the target in this particular row and has gone to sleep at her grandmas. DD1 is skulking in her room, still grieving for the loss of her pet cat which died on Sunday. DS1 is fine as he is DH's favourite and never gets caught up in it.
I am actually not even angry, just bored by it all really and quite calm.

Sounds like you've had enough Ma seen as you don't feel angry. Can you talk to him about how you feel, and if so does it make any difference?

Hello. I'm BatteredandBruised. New here but read the first ever thread, what, a year ago? Have name changed.

Apologies if I post and run but this feels quite a big step for me and not sure how much I want to reveal (to myself as much as anything).

I think I have a problem with alcohol. I guess I know I do. I've always been a drinker and in fact I drink a lot less now than I used to. I dont get drunk alone, can easily have one glass and that's it at home and can go for days without alcohol. BUT... when I socialise I get drunk. Very drunk. Blackout drunk. And I am ashamed. I hate it about myself and wish upon wish I wasn't that person. Recently, It's happened about 4 times in the last 2 month (along with a couple of civilised, couple of drinks with dinner type nights out) and I hate the way I feel about myself for the next few days after. I also know that I've found myself in situations I've regretted. My one saving grace is that I am single with no kids and I never drink during day and always put work first. But weekends....oh shit, the weekends...

Trouble is, lots of my girlfriends are heavy drinkers and we spend so many weekend nights at one of theirs - where the purpose is to support each other, have a laugh and drink wine and if I stop drinking (which I think I want to do) then my social life has to massively change and I don't know if I can take all of that on.

I wish I could drink like a normal person.

Sorry, I didn't mean this to be so long and I'm not sure what I want from posting. Hope it's ok just to offload and lurk for a bit while I think about what I'm going to do and how I'm going to do it. Thank you for reading this far.

Hi B&B - I'm pretty new too, so from one newbie to another, welcome onto the bus.

Offloading is good, and I found it liberating to just offload for a bit - helped me focus on the "whys" of the journey I'm making as well as the destination.

Re drinking like a normal person - one thing I'm constantly surprised by is how few normal drinkers I actually have in my life - almost everyone I know is either teetotal, pretty near teetoal, or very heavy drinkers - no in-betweens.

What do you think you want to do / are able to do? EG I want to drink like a "normal" person, but in reality, I know that once I start drinking, I don't really stop until I;m drunker than I want to be. So i think for me, the answer has to be abstinence - I've tried near abstinence, and for me it just doesn't work. In your heart, what do you feel?

Be strong and hang onto this bus - its occupied by some of the nicest people I've come across, who have already been a huge support to me in the few days since I hopped on-board.

TBoM - agree re the dearth of "normal" drinkers in my friendship group, but I suspect that there's a kind of self-reinforcing thing going on there - you pick friends who won't notice if you're drinking a lot,and then you drink a lot because those friends are doing so too.

B&B - your drinking pattern sounds like me in my late 20s when I was single and working really long hours. At the time it didn't seem like a problem, but I think it does set you up for an unhealthy attitude to alcohol in the long term and if you're putting yourself in uncomfortable (and potentially dangerous) situations obviously it's not on. definitely worth thinking of some ways to encourage yourself not to go over the top. I used to find that I drank less if I set up some organised activities on Sat and Sunday mornings, preferably with someone else who wouldn't be out on the lash, so that I couldn't easily excuse myself from them (e.g. a 10am yoga class -easy to say to people "I really need to stop drinking now or I'm not going to be able to make my class in the morning and I'm determined to go..).

Survived last night without another drink, but am still absolutely exhausted (even though I'm sleeping a bit better). I seem to have dropped a whole dress size in the last week and a half, so I suspect it's about reduced calorie intake - I've definitely reduced the carbs as well as the alcohol - which I guess is all good. My body probably has some readjusting to do. Maybe some sort of vitamin/iron supplement? I've been taking vitamin B.

9- 6, which I think is a pretty good result!

welcome B&B - nice to have another boybabe on the bus!
zany we did the BIG talk a couple of months ago when I told him it was over. he promised to change. talking is pointless.I have a long term escape plan worked out if i can stick it until DC3 is older. Am now working on my short term one. it gives me peace just to have something in place.
Drank two glasses of wine last night, put the rest in the fridge and slept well,despite all.

Just flying by quickly - already late in leaving for an appointment. Far too busy this week. Will read and post properly tomorrow.

SAF you sound as though you're doing great

Hello all and thank you for the welcome and kind words. See the thing is, in many ways my life is very manageable - no outstanding 'to do' lists, get plenty of sleep and go to the gym 5 or 6 times a week. But, I go during the week and on Saturdays which means I give myself Sunday off. And then get blind drunk on Saturday night.

I often on drink that one night of the week. Classic binge drinker but it's the blackouts which scare the shit out of me. Especially the last one - I am currently sporting a bruised and bloodied knee, a twisted ankle and a grazed shoulder. It was the fall that literally brought me round from the blackout and I am so ashamed and embarrassed. I was alone too (happened at end of night, outside front door).

And re the friends who drink similarly - some do, some don't. I've got a birthday do this weekend that terrifies me. Can't decide whether to go but know I don't want to drink. But kinda have to go as it's one of my oldest friends. But the idea of waking up sans hangover and knowing everything that happened is SO appealing.

I've got to head into a meeting now so won't be able to post for a while but thank you all again.

Ps. Umm .... I'm a girl

Welcome BandB keep posting as there are plenty of lovely people on here with good tips on socialising whilst cutting down and not waking up the next morning with a hangover.

I opened a bottle of wine last night but only had one glass. I looked at my glass and thought 'actually I am thirsty and need water not wine'

Getting the house all tidy seen as I am DC free at the moment although I am having a party for DD on Saturday and realise I will need to do some serious weeding before then. Gulp

Felt very lonely in the house on my own last night, I miss my DC's to cuddle up to but the dog is standing in as a pretty good substitute as she won't leave me alone, think she is missing them.

B&B - been there, done that - I vividly recall smashing my knee open on the front step having lost my balance fishing around in my bag for keys - it swelled up like a grapefruit and I had to wear a trouser suit to work for a week / take the lift between floors as I couldn't manage the stairs. In my defence it was 15 years ago . I also used to be a gym-six-days-out-of seven girl.

Do you find that you're relatively lucid for most of the evening, and then the alcohol hits you in a big swoosh at the end? That's what used to happen to me, caused by drinking too much too quickly at the end of the evening. I found it helped to count drinks - ensure no "top ups" (so that you're properly counting full drinks), and switch to orange juice for one or two drinks after hitting a designated number. Stops you quaffing wine or whatever like water because you're really, really thirsty. No need to make a big statement about stopping for the evening or anything.