The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Here's To STAYING On A Sober Holiday!

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse

I have an abusive and volatile relationship with alcohol.

This is the Brave Babes Bus, it's filled with sober, drinking and somewhere in between Babes who are all here for the journey ahead, whatever that may entail.

EVERYONE is welcome on this Bus. No-one will judge what you are going through, what you drink, what you don't or what you do.

Come take a seat.

Take a peek at the journeys so far (including the thread by JWN that started this whole journey off) HERE

Ok, that is tough. But others on here will know what you are going through.

Do you want to talk about the fuckit moment?

You mentioned your DD is with DP - is the other child with exH?

Sorting everything out will be hard, it will take time but it is manageable. However, if you add drink in the mix it won't be.

I am channelling MILFAW at the moment, hoping he will appear as he will no doubt have good advice. The booze is the first problem as with that you won't be able to work through other things and make rational decisions. Sort a plan for that - or two - one plan for staying with your folks and one for going home to DP. Write it down. Then you are in control of one thing.

Then think about other things - can CAB help with debt?

venus glad you are here, I have to leave soon and you are much more eloquent than me. And less bossy

Oooh well done venus, I was just trying to work out how to put into words what you just said.

The plan will not to stay with folks. I can't be here. I know dp won't have me yet but he will let me see baby as much as poss if I stay sober. Being on my own might be a good thing. I have plenty to organise and lots of aa contacts in my own city. I will have to travel a lot but my mum will help facilitate. No further forward with letter. Still tears galore.

Morning Babes

wantto - please change your name to something more positive, I think it will help you start to heal. That's something that you need to do, you need to heal.

Whatever has brought you to the bottom, will ebb away with help, love and support. You'll be surprised at just how powerful a Bus full of Brave Babes can be when we all start holding you up.

I know you have little support in RL currently but when you start AA or Rehab, you will meet people who are just like you. Who have hit rock bottom, climbed back up and are sitting on the edge of a ledge, clinging on for dear life right now. You'll meet people who have scaled the mountain and reached the top.

Everyone on here has had some sort of rock bottom. Some more than once, but maybe the second time wasn't quite so bad because they knew what they were in for and recovered much sooner.

We're all different, we all have needs and wants and desires. Your main desire is to see your baby. You know that won't happen when you are drinking and the fact that you say drinking is the furthest thing from your mind is a HUGE step in the right direction.

Hold the image of your baby in your mind. Smell her. Hear her and let that memory DRIVE YOU FORWARD.

You can do this, because I truly believe that you WANTTO

We are all here for you and will help you any way that we can. Keep posting.

Keep talking to us. The more that we know, the more we can help.

Talk to us xx

Missy10

I tried desperately to post to you last night but my bloody Internet kept dying on me. Grrrrrrrrrr BT!

Anyway, I wanted to tell you pretty much what everyone else has said, and welcome

I have read your posts and your life sounds so full of dark days and bad news. I'm so sorry that you are going through this

Stay here and talk to us. I know that we're all different in terms of life experience and day to day troubles but one thing that we do share, is empathy.

Gp has called and given me an appt at 4.20 tomorrow. She will give me the antabuse. She has also got me to see the alcohol counsellor the very next morning. I have begged dp to let me sleep on the couch so I can make that appt. Pray for me that he agrees. I have offered to go to a meeting to stay out of his way and because I need to. Then I will have more choices to make. Please please pray he will do this for me. I haave no right to ask him anything but I hope he can find the compassion to do this

Hello everyone,
Just an update on how things are.

Wantto , cant really give any advice as im in a pickle myself at the moment but all i can say is this thread is brilliant and has really helped me over the past 4 days since i started posting (very drunk) i might add. They are wonderful people and a huge support .

Had a great day yeasterday so did ds, 14 ten year old boys running around with lazers for 2 hours, ferrying kids from houses from 9.30am til 4pm. and was not gagging for a glass of wine! Woopee
The evening however could of gone alot better, not my drinking actually but bloody family AHHHHH!!!
Who invented BBQ's, and why when you see all these bloody ads on telly it all looks relaxing and effortless and wonderful. We have lots of BBQ's, dh loooves them, but in my experience its aload of people sitting around drinking your beer waiting to be served food, when they have all eaten, you are left with a over burnt sausage or lonely piece of chicken and the remnants of the salad bowl and for what!!
To be left with mountains of washing up, a recycling box that looks like everest, flithy floors and a garden that looks like a warzone.
No-one in my family seems to watch thier kids so i end up being a bloody waitress, come barmaid come cleaner and nanny.
The only bonus was hardly a drop of alcohol passed my lips.
im a bit fed up today to be honest, but at least i dont have a hangover..

wantto - liking the new name, you go girl!

Keeping everything crossed for you re DP - do you have a good friend or anyone else who can step in and offer you a bed for the night in case he feels unable to? It would be such a shame if you can't make an appointment that would be so good for you in the event of him not yet being in a place where he can be compassionate. I hope he is, though.

Sometimes I find fixing on creating plans and back-up plans is a welcome distraction from problems - so you've got a gp plan and a referral to a counsellor plan, so creating a good back-up might be good for you.

If you don't think you need a backup (and you might not, you know your DP better than I do), then why don't you list 2 or 3 things out that you could do with a plan for:

eg.
a plan to tackle debt
a plan to tackle PND

And then under each plan, map maximum 5 actions you're going to take to help get you there - they don't have to be all the way to the goal, progress on the road will be fine. Don't do more than 5 - because it makes the task overwhelming, and if you can only tackle one or two goals at a time, that's just fine.

So, for plan to tackle debt,

Step 1 - could be find out about debt management resources online
Step 2 - could be create a list of all your current debt
Step 3 - make an appointment with CAB

etc etc

And if you don't feel like doing any of this and just want to sleep, that's just fine too.

Told you we were completely without judgy-pants on this thread

Thankyou boss. I still haven't heard and my nerves are in pieces. Backup would be a hotel unless any of you live in a scottish city beginning with a d and want a house guest. My dad would pay. Or I travel back to my home and back up the next morning ... Expensive and tricky. I am going to try and sleep. I haven't eaten for days so I need to sort that out.

But I'm planning to make a plan too

But I'm planning to make a plan too

How are you today Missy? Have you made plans yet for your DD's operation on Friday. Will she be in overnight?

Good plan Isinde re the writing 'any old anything' just to get started.

He has said no! I have begged. I feel like death

He has said no! I have begged. I feel like death

wantto OK that is disappointing. But it is not the end of the world. You posted that you could stay in a hotel nearby and that your dad would help by paying. That sounds OK. I know it's not what you wanted but it is an option, and it will mean that you can see your GP to get antabuse, see your baby, get to a local AA meeting and then go to the appointment with the counsellor the next day.

Your dp may be feeling hurt and scared by whatever happened at the weekend. You can show him that you can cope with that, without resorting to drink.

wantto you do not have to be in any particular town to get the help you need. You should not even have to wait until tomorrow to get a prescription (imo). How helpful has your gp really been? It may be worth getting back in touch with them. The single most important thing right now is looking after your own health. Everything else will follow after that.

OK, wantto, so lets move onto back-up plan.

Find a hotel, and book a room if your Dad is happy to help pay. If it has a minibar in the hotel room, then ask them to empty it first.

Then find an AA meeting and figure out how you're going to get there - a better alternative than spending the night staring at the 4 walls in your hotel room.

Will he allow you to see your DD whilst you're home?

wantto - great new name, well done you xx

Listen to TheBoss - (is it evening there btw boss?) she talks sense WRT the plan. Or a plan.

Okay, so he said no. Did he say why he's refused your request? I'm sorry that he has but rewind a bit. Why did you want to stay there, other than to see your DD? Just to make the appointment?

Please don't see this as a set back, see it as a new challenge, today's challenge okay?

What can you do next? What do you want to do?

hey all

have really not been around much at all the last couple of months.

Hit 9 months today - which is really incredible when I consider the mess that I was in when I first posted on this thread.

wantto I dont stay in D - but I have been to meetings there, I stay in P inbetween, if you want some real life support I would go with you to the first couple of meetings if you would like?
PM me if you want to, and we can arrange something.

Hope all is well with everyone else
Hugs
Bafana

Night fallen here, we don't get long days, sun sets same time all year really, around 7. Spectacular electric storm coming in so watching the lightning on my balcony with an apple to keep me company!

I love plans and lists, one of the things I do very well, which makes up for other shortcomings a bit!

mouse is right, it's not a setback, it's a new challenge needing a new plan. So let's focus on getting that plan into action. Do you want us to help by looking up hotels, aa meetings, taxi services etc online for you wantto? We can do that if it helps.

And agree with isinde, just write and don't worry too much about getting thoughts in order, just write down all the fragments of thoughts and then knit them together into something more whole afterwards.

Hi all, it's taken me till now to read through all the posts (busy at work), you are all so supportive and full of suggestions that I wish I had met you all years ago :)