The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Here's To STAYING On A Sober Holiday!

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse

I have an abusive and volatile relationship with alcohol.

This is the Brave Babes Bus, it's filled with sober, drinking and somewhere in between Babes who are all here for the journey ahead, whatever that may entail.

EVERYONE is welcome on this Bus. No-one will judge what you are going through, what you drink, what you don't or what you do.

Come take a seat.

Take a peek at the journeys so far (including the thread by JWN that started this whole journey off) HERE

BAFANA

Hoorah! I was wondering where you had gotten to of late. 9 months eh? Well done you!

I'm so super proud of you for keeping at it, of all of you who do actually. x

Obrigada - how are you feeling today? x

Sometimes there are things in life that I wish I'd done years ago.

Then I think, I'll do them now so that, in years to come I can look back and think, I'm so glad I did that years ago

One of my huge goals is losing weight. I've been faffing around with that for years and I swear it's the alcohol that always lets me down. I love healthy eating (except for fish for some reason) salad, fruit, veg, brown rice, etc. But I always go back to wine and cheese and crisps and nuts and pile on the pounds again. I seriously don't want to still be faffing about with this in another year, or two, or five eeek!!

Hey Mouse:) am doing ok today, haven't had a drink since Friday night so am pleased about that. How are things with you?

Mmmmm I just made some lovely chicken and sweetcorn soup. Yum, yum.

And I've got loads of paperwork done today too.

leaving tomorrow semi-clear to get on with the piece of work that I've been putting off for ages.

Good thanks obrigada although I forgot to take my meds yesterday so by dinner time, I felt awful, really weird and sickly. I found them in my pocket so ended up taking them 10 hours late! Eeeeeeek!

Silly old mouse!!

After half an our of taking them I did feel much better.

Well done for not drinking since Friday! That's fab to hear. How's your mum? And things with your horrid sisters? xx

venus - I want soup. I want you to come here and look after me and make me soup and nice bread and snuggle me up. I'm freezing! It's just suddenly gone all cold and Autumnal.

Are you free?

Or you could just let me have your recipe?

Please?

Mam is getting on grand in nursing home, as for the sisters they live far enough away from me that I don't have to worry about bumping into them so therefore they are not a part of my daily life. The texts are still niggling at me so earlier today (while I should have been working) I scribbled a letter to one of them letting her know how she made me feel and how I now felt about her, felt good after writing it, but of course shredded it after signing my name with a flourish .
At least you now know for sure that the tablets are working :)

Venus, l love chicken and sweetcorn soup but have only ever had it as a starter in a Chinese restaurant ... am disaster in the kitchen!

Thankyou all so much for everything. I can't pm on my phone and I'm very concious of not namechecking you all but I'm truly grateful
Well I have been booked into a hotel for tomorrow. I am about to google nearby evening meetings. I have written a huge ream of disjointed garbage to dp which I hope he will read. But I'm so so scared of seeing him and losing him and baby that I'm projecting away. I have agreed to get a breathalyser so he can make sure I haven't drank on fri night and I can see maeve on friday. Then I will go home to my crappy house and start to sort my life out for good. This is my turning point. I need to fight and push the black thoughts from my mind.

Thankyou all so much for everything. I can't pm on my phone and I'm very concious of not namechecking you all but I'm truly grateful
Well I have been booked into a hotel for tomorrow. I am about to google nearby evening meetings. I have written a huge ream of disjointed garbage to dp which I hope he will read. But I'm so so scared of seeing him and losing him and baby that I'm projecting away. I have agreed to get a breathalyser so he can make sure I haven't drank on fri night and I can see maeve on friday. Then I will go home to my crappy house and start to sort my life out for good. This is my turning point. I need to fight and push the black thoughts from my mind.

Well done Wantto, I know it's difficult not to project but try not to! Yes this is your turning point and hopefully down the line you will be able to look back and see how far you have come.

I am so glad to see that post wantto, you sound much more determined. That's the way to get things sorted. Well done you.

Venus's Heavenly Chicken and Sweetcorn Soup:

1 onion
1 smallish potato
1 litre chicken stock (using a stock cube is OK)
1 large tin sweetcorn
1 small tin carnation evaporated milk (NOT condensed milk)
A little bit of cooked chicken (about 2 oz)
Salt, pepper, mixed herbs

Chop onion and cook gently in butter / oil
Peel and chop potato and add to onion
Cook for about 5 minutes
Add chicken stock
Add 2/3 of the tin of sweetcorn
Add half teaspoon of dried herbs
Simmer for about 15 minutes
Add half the tin of evaporated milk
Whizz with a blender
Add remaining sweetcorn
Add finely chopped chicken
Heat and add salt and pepper to taste.

Yum, yum, yum. And easy. And you can make it without the cooked chicken.

checking in. Finished the one glass of wine left in the bottle and desperately wanted more but have managed not to get dressed and go out to the shop so one glass it is.
am going to bed to try and sleep.

Lovely to hear you're getting sorted wantto. Just make sure you always have a contingency plan, like you did today. What will you do if you can't get to a meeting? Will you take a good stock of soft drinks and snacks to the hotel with you? Keep in touch

I have been to see One Day this evening with my DD(14) and we both thoroughly enjoyed it. For once, I thought the film was as good as the book. which is unusual for me. Anyway am stuffed with popcorn now

Wantto - well done you. Excellent that you are emptying your head of all the thoughts that have weighed you down for a few days.

I know it's so easy for us all to sit here and watch you pour your heart out but believe me when I tell you that each of us feels your pain.

Keep going. Keep planning. Keep talking and letting it out. xx

obrigada - I'm glad your mum is okay and that you aren't letting the horrid sisters get to you!

You've done great to get through the weekend without a drink xx

I'm off to bed now..........

Ma - I'm hoping with all my heart that tomorrow, maybe tomorrow, will be a better day for you at last xx

Night Babes xxxxx

PS - venus - I heart you. You are Soul Food. xx

How did you get on today Missy? Even if you are still drinking, please let us know how you are if you feel you can.

The chicken soup sounds delicious Venus. I will see if I can persuade DS to make it tomorrow as luckily enough Tesco are delivering in the morning so I will have all the ingrediants and he makes a wicked soup!

I apologise if you ladies have read this before but it spoke volumes to me. It was part of russell brands eulogy for amy winehouse. I have used it to end my letter to dp. If you read on you will see what I mean. This is my phonecall to him. I am beaten. I want to live sober
When you love someone who suffers from the disease of addiction you await the phone call. There will be a phone call. The sincere hope is that the call will be from the addict themselves, telling you they've had enough, that they're ready to stop, ready to try something new. Of course though, you fear the other call, the sad nocturnal chime from a friend or relative telling you it's too late, she's gone.

Frustratingly it's not a call you can ever make it must be received. It is impossible to intervene

Tears are puring down my face

I apologise if you ladies have read this before but it spoke volumes to me. It was part of russell brands eulogy for amy winehouse. I have used it to end my letter to dp. If you read on you will see what I mean. This is my phonecall to him. I am beaten. I want to live sober
When you love someone who suffers from the disease of addiction you await the phone call. There will be a phone call. The sincere hope is that the call will be from the addict themselves, telling you they've had enough, that they're ready to stop, ready to try something new. Of course though, you fear the other call, the sad nocturnal chime from a friend or relative telling you it's too late, she's gone.

Frustratingly it's not a call you can ever make it must be received. It is impossible to intervene

Tears are puring down my face

The sincere hope is that the call will be from the addict themselves, telling you they've had enough, that they're ready to stop, ready to try something new

Frustratingly it's not a call you can ever make it must be received. It is impossible to intervene

It is a call that you can make wantto

I am making that call. I am beaten. I will take all help I can get! I will be strong. I will fix this mess. I will live sober

I am making that call. I am beaten. I will take all help I can get! I will be strong. I will fix this mess. I will live sober

Atta girl!! Go Wantto

You may not realise it but you could be the inspiration for others who are unsure what to do right now. Make a plan, then make a contingency plan and above all else, plan how you are not going to drink tonight/today.

Morning ladies
I hardly slept. I'm excited to face my daughter but so scared to see dp. I hope he can see I am willing to change and how badly I want this. I hope I can ease the pain I have caused him and that my intentions are genuine. I hope he can see potential and my love for him.
Wish me luck although I know I need more than that. I need to become self reliant and prove it to him.

Morning ladies
I hardly slept. I'm excited to face my daughter but so scared to see dp. I hope he can see I am willing to change and how badly I want this. I hope I can ease the pain I have caused him and that my intentions are genuine. I hope he can see potential and my love for him.
Wish me luck although I know I need more than that. I need to become self reliant and prove it to him.

Morning !!

wantto - good luck. Focus on getting yourself better and hopefully the rest will fall into place. I am so happy that you are seeing DD today, I know its been so painful to be apart from her. I really hope things go ok - what is that saying, hope for the best, plan for the worst? Just make sure you plan, plan, plan.

That said, I bounced off the bus last night. Had a Delicious (it deserves a capital D) meal last night in our local gastro-pub (in a good way, not a poncey way) with other mums from the nursery. On the whole the evening was a bit bizarre and I had a few glasses of white wine. I don't mind that I did, its in the past and today is a new day. I probably drank a tiny bit too much but not overly so - although I am glad the evening ended when it did. When we called for the bill I had a [hmmn] moment, thinking MORE WINE and the thought that I could drink alone once I got home flashed through my mind but I immediately recognised that as a Bad Thing.

Much work to do today and DD is in nursery for half a day, so best crack on with things. Plan for today is work, work, work, fun afternoon with DD (we are planning a silly day - tea party in a bubble bath is today's silliest idea), then more work in the evening so I don't drink ... then early night. At the end of the day I want to feel a) proud of finishing my work b) happy at looking back at a nice afternoon with DD when I am not distracted and am wholly focused on her and c) relieved that I am in bed at a reasonable time. So that is my plan.

Today I will not be drinking.