How often do married couples really have sex?

[50000feet]

My husband thinks all other married couples are having more sex than we are, a couple of 45 year olds with two kids who do it about two to three times a month - Both full time workers with stressfull jobs. Anyone brave enough to tell the truth so i can get a realitic picture.

I have asked my mates but thats not a big enough picture.

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Can't remember when within the past 2 months. I am 50, he is 47. Been together for 10 years this September, and married for 5.5 years. Used to be at it like rabbits until a few months ago. However his 2 teenage kids moved in with us full time last February, and that has eaten away at our relationship,and certainly the respect I have for him as he has become spineless when confronted about issues with the way I see his kids.

For me, the desire has suddenly evaporated. I walk on egg shells to keep the peace. The stress of doing that is making sex being the last thing on my mind. I just don't have the feelings there anymore. He senses that definitely as he has or had a huge sexual appetite. Shame how things change.

Can't remember when within the past 2 months. I am 50, he is 47. Been together for 10 years this September, and married for 5.5 years. Used to be at it like rabbits until a few months ago. However his 2 teenage kids moved in with us full time last February, and that has eaten away at our relationship,and certainly the respect I have for him as he has become spineless when confronted about issues with the way I see his kids.

For me, the desire has suddenly evaporated. I walk on egg shells to keep the peace. The stress of doing that is making sex being the last thing on my mind. I just don't have the feelings there anymore. He senses that definitely as he has or had a huge sexual appetite. Shame how things change.

We are 36 and 34. Married 8 years, kids are 3 and 6. We both work full-time.

We try to have sex every day (sometimes "just" oral as that's quicker). We tend to do it in the mornings more often than evenings. When I have my period it can be painful and messes up the bedclothes so we do it in the shower or stick to oral for a few days. Sometimes we skip a couple of days due to tiredness, travel, kids' stuff but tend to make up for it in spare time at the weekend.

No idea whether we're normal! We just fit it in where there's time!

Both in our 40s, been together about 20 years.

Most days at least once.

We have six kids, ages 22 to 7 years old. We've been together for 26 years and married 23 of those. I could do without sex but I pleasure hubby about once to twice a week anymore in exchange for a back scratch. If it was up to him, he'd get off every night. I'm 46, menopausal, and have a weak bladder; it doesn't interest me a bit!

Im 41. married for 21 years and 2 boys who are 18 and 14. I just checked and last time we had sex was 7 weeks ago. I have an app for periods and entered it. I feel ashamed its been so long but also upset/why isnt he interestedinme? This has gone on for years, i can get aroused my self but the two of us never seem to a) have time or b) care if we have sex. any advice would be great ty. x

Sirchenjin we have teenagers and younger dc (six dc altogether) and we manage by having a lock on our bedroom door and putting music on

If we waited till everyone was asleep or out of the house it would just never happen

We also make use of the lock on the bathroom door to have a bath together etc

Sometimes we disappear into the bedroom during the day and say that we want some time to watch a film, sometimes that's actually what we do and we lock the door if we're watching something inappropriate so they don't always associate locked door = us having sex

Every day mostly, sometimes skip a day or two if we are tired, very busy or whatever. Sometimes I get pain as well so can't manage for that reason.

DH works away about 50% of time though so we go weeks without in between times!

I'm now divorced but when I was married to ExDH it was usually 4times a week-ish. Sometimes more as we would have sex in the morning at weekend. We didn't have sex for 10 weeks after the birth of each DD, and stopped when I was in the late stages of pregnancy. We were 31 and 32 when we separated, with a 4 year old and 7 month old.

Think your husband is right, two or three times a month isn't very much at all.

Once to twice a week. Dh is a quantity( would Dtd everyday but at I inopportune times) man I like to go for quality ( would be more than happy with 1-2 times a month as long as I was really turned on and we gave it our full attention )

together 13 years, married 10. 3dc ages 6 and two 2yos. Some weeks it's 3 or 4 times, other times it's once, then period week it's 0 and I should only be approached with caution and chocolate ;)

This thread was started in 2011.....

I've been with my OH for 6 yrs and married for 1yr. I'm 9 months pregnant and we've only managed to have sex twice since I've been pregnant due to awkwardness of baby moving etc.

My husband doesn't have as high a sex drive as I do so when not pregnant we would average on once per week. This may be low to some couples but there are other ways to show intimacy and neither of us feels rejected by the other.

together 9 years, married for 3. Aged 29 (me) and 34, one 4yo DS. On average two or three times a week, although there will be some weeks it's none due to work etc and some weeks it's 4-5 x

Not married here but been together 13 years (both in early 40s) We have been from the "honeymoon" first 2 years when it was 4/5 times a week to having ds and barely having sex at all for the first 4 years (my libido went completely) back to settling into about once a week for a few years. Then back to hardly ever for 2 years, DP having an affair, not surprisingly absolutely nothing for a while and now back to 1/2 a week. I really think that there isn't one answer to the ops question because it really depends on where you are within relationship and life eg young children or not, stressfull fulltime work or not etc. As long as both people are happy with the amount whether it be 1 a year or every day then it's ok :)

Been married 8 years, been a couple for 8 years. We have an 18 month old boy. Please forgive my forwardness. We make love on average twice a week. She knows I'd like to do it more and therefore keeps me tame by supplementing the 2 sessions a week with a number of hj's/bj's during the week (in particular if she's on her period). It works both ways... she regularly gets a tantric scented oil massages from me and returns the favour. If guys make the effort to make a lady feel sexy/hot, she'll be willing to put out. Oh, and we started having sex roughly a month after she gave birth gradually increasing frequency. Hope this helps.

42 years old and been married 17 years. Two kids ages 7 & 10. Sex is almost a daily event. I find I am a much better father and husband if my needs are met. She gets it and this works for us. Now I will say that "good" sex is probably weekly.

43 years old and my husband is also 43 and we have been together since we were 19. We have a 16 yr old and a 20 yr old in college. We have sex 2-3 times a week sometimes 4times during the summer months. My husband is very good at it, which helps. :)

60s no kids, no jobs, no excuse lol!

I thought we must be getting past it at 2-3 times a week. Now I see we have no excuse why aren't we doing it daily lol

Actually we both are quite happy with the amount. It's quality that counts . It's all good!

Those that are like ships that pass in the night, if you weren't so tired would you like to do it more.

Two weeks ago we thought we'd have a go at daily. I think we managed four days before life got in the way.

It's such lovely way of getting close to your loved one I don't know why we aren't all at it like rabbits.

I went four years as my marriage broke up without a man cuddle never mind sex, so meeting my new man and giving to the relationship is just bliss.

Sex or intimacy at least should really be at the top of the list. Most men are just softies at heart particularly if they've had good mothering and most good men when they meet us want to love us forever and too often they end up being at the bottom end of the priority list. They actually don't need much to keep them happy. None of us do really but it can be difficult when young children, jobs, stress etc gets in the way and yet sex and a big 'O' is the best stress relief there is.

The question we should be asking is not how often we do it but why arent we doing it more often.

Sounds like you've got it spot on nubbs.

Did it dwindle when the kids were younger.

Up to twice a day for three weeks with one week off.

We have been married 8.5 years and have one child.

Hope the OP and her husband are at least on weekly sessions now ;-)

Why is it you need to know?

Is one of your complaining you don't get enough? or is it just banter?

I only ask because if one of you is unhappy with the amount you are getting, then whether people say they have it 5 times a day or once every fortnight it isn't really going to change how much either of you want it.

I wouldn't be comparing myself to other couples, as long as you are happy with eachother. :)