How often do married couples really have sex?

[50000feet]

My husband thinks all other married couples are having more sex than we are, a couple of 45 year olds with two kids who do it about two to three times a month - Both full time workers with stressfull jobs. Anyone brave enough to tell the truth so i can get a realitic picture.

I have asked my mates but thats not a big enough picture.

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I am 39 and my wife is 35. We have sex twice per week usually. We have sex whenever we get the opportunity, the walls are thin and my son is 14, so we only have sex when he is out of the house.

Our sessions last over an hour, but that is mostly my fault because I don't "finish" quickly, I don't know why, it has always been that way.

To be fair, even if we had the house to ourselves all the time I don't think we would do it much more than twice per week.

Me and my husband have been married for a year and a half together for 7 years. 2 kids both under the age of 5 and for us it varies. Although recently we've been making an effort to have sex every other day! This has worked out really well and we're both now feeling more loved and wanted then ever before x

Been together 9 years, he works away 4 nights a week - usually have sex twice over the weekend....got to make the most of it!

Together 7 years, 2 year old child, I'm 30 weeks pregnant with number 2. Once a week is average.

That said we're just getting ready for a big house move, have been working tirelessly on the new place between work and childcare so we have been like passing ships for the last 6 weeks or so!

We have been together 12 years, married for just over 7 years 3 kids we have sex anything from 3-5 times a week we have a really good sex life.

We're mid 40's, 3 kids, married over 20 years and it varies from 3/4 times a week to not at all. Depends on DHS shifts, my hormones, the opportunity...lots of things!

About twice a week, if neither of us is away.

Married 25 years, both in our forties and we average 3-4 Times a week. Kids are grown up so more frequent now than when they were little. On holiday we get down to it daily, sometimes twice - love hotel sex

Lmao zombie thread, was really confused to read my own reply under a different username. Boiled frog is very apt, that reply was 3 years ago and I have since left him .

Is anyone collating these figures into a table for us?

Married 18 years 3 primary aged children, sex about once a week usually, a lot less frequently recently, but we've both been massively stressed.

Presumably you don't just want to hear from married couples?

But ime of long term relationships, anything from never to every day is normal and fine.

Personally the more stressed I am, the more I like sex.

Together 19 years - 2 or 3 times a week, more if we're on holidays.

With my ex after kids it was about 1-2 times a week with occasional dry spells.

I do remember however after ds1 it was about 4 weeks after birth and I wanted to check all was in order. Cue glasses of wine and gently getting down to it. All went well but when he pulled his knob out there was an errant stray stitch on the end of it...

Married for eight years, together for 11. Two kids, one on the way. I'm 32 and he's 35.

About twice/three times a week on average.

Whatever is normal for you though.

32 weeks pregnant now and down to about 2-3 times a week from 4-5. Exhaustion and the bump are the cause! DH is up for more but I am just tired. I am giving him the slow hand jobs he likes when I can't be bothered with sex- if I am in a good mood.

We're both in our 30's. Been together 20 yrs, married for 13. 3 kids. I have no libido and we do it maybe once a month. Currently seeing psychosexual counsellor as it used to hurt a lot. I blame the kids and stitches. Counsellor says we need to be intimate at least once a week to keep Relationship alive. Quantity not quality.

Well I think we managed it once in 2013. We have been together 17 years, married 13. Have two children, both have massive jobs. Love each other but timings are always out. Think we also had sex in 2012.....

Oh not as yet in 2014,

Sorry DH

I think only 3 times since DS was born (he's 6 months)...traumatic birth (after an equally traumatic, but different birth with our first child)..I'm two stone heavier than I normally am and my body is wrecked. Am also knackered with dealing with 2 under 2.

Worse thing is, I have no desire at all at the minute. Quite happy with no sex. Pretty sure DH isn't :(

One and a half this year! Him, definitely not me!
(the half was at the start of the year, I was pregnant and it was crap, so I am not giving him a full point for that one.)

Its great when we do, but the lack of sex regularly has totally battered my self-confidence and I cant face the idea of ever bothering again atm. He is such a wonderful DH in every other way and I love him entirely but the mismatch in our sex drives has devastated me. I have nothing left.

Why does this particular zombie thread keep getting resurrected? It's nearly 3.5 years old now.

I'm posting this for those that are NOT making love hardly AT ALL.
BUT wish they were asking love A LOT MORE.
I don't have any answers for you BUT I wanted you to know you r not the only one. I could echo just about every thing 'somerset7' said in May 2014.
I just joined this site just now after googling 'how often do married couples really have sex after 20 years'
Since our 2nd child 13 years ago the lack of love making has been an issue for me. Often went almost a year without.
We sort of made love once this summer hols just gone but that was not great and the first time for 3 years.
We've just done a marriage course at our church www.paultripp.com/what-did-you-expect which I think is helping our relationship and it will take time, but helping me love unselfishly.
I also am regularly disappointed by my wife's lack of affection toward me despite her describing how good a husband I am and that she is happy. She says she just doesn't want to have sex.
I just wanted to share and say I will always keep trying to love my wife the best I can sacrificially and tenderly.
I do hope I can please her and hopefully be pleased I think it would add so much more Joy to our lives BUT I am committed to loving her but not seeking my identity in how she responds to me.

Sometimes no sex for year or to, sometimes several times a week for quite a while. I think it's natural to be up and down. My other point is; I think all the women who say something like "not that often, but WE are happy with this, although I'm sure he wouldn't complain if we had more" are kidding themselves - he's permanently pissed off but has learnt to bury it towards the back of his mind.

Married for 26 years - have sex roughly once every 3 or 4 months. I'm not happy with it but partner is so...........