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Relationships

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How often do married couples really have sex?

279 replies

50000feet · 09/06/2011 19:41

My husband thinks all other married couples are having more sex than we are, a couple of 45 year olds with two kids who do it about two to three times a month - Both full time workers with stressfull jobs. Anyone brave enough to tell the truth so i can get a realitic picture.

I have asked my mates but thats not a big enough picture.


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OP posts:
Patrickstarisabadbellend · 29/06/2014 00:57

I should point out that I'm 31 and he's 35.

readrunraverelax · 29/06/2014 09:01

We would both like it more. We still fancy each other so much and love our sex life. More time without kids around would be great!

I am 37 and he is 42. Been together 10 years, married for 8. Do it once or twice a week. Sometimes if one of us is ill and then I have my period we do not do it for a couple of weeks. We are then gagging for it!

Sometimes we are desperate for a shag and lock the bathroom door so the kids (6 and 3) do not disturb us.

I feel horny a lot of the time but we cannot act on it as maybe it is when my DH is going out the door for work (he looks hot at this time,n smartly dressed, fresh smelling from shower!!)

Personally, a bit like exercise, sex is a stress buster. Need to have it and love having it. I feel very blessed to love having sex with my DH who feels the same about me. I am also very encouraged that older posters seem to find they are having it more frequently now their DC are up a bit.

dudeonthebayou · 25/07/2014 01:50

For me and my wife sometimes it can be often, sometimes once a month, sometimes a few months in between. One of the biggest problems is pre-teen and teen kids that doesn't want to go to sleep. And it really putting a break out the sex life.

Minus2seventy3 · 25/07/2014 06:53

Married nearly ten years, DD (7)... Been at least eighteen months now without. Depressed is an understatement.

FeministStar · 25/07/2014 06:55

Married for 9 1/2 years now but it has been 5 years since we had any sex.

NoSexButManyExcuses · 25/07/2014 07:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

tescosmum781 · 25/07/2014 07:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LuluJakey1 · 26/07/2014 00:53

Married nearly 5 years. Sex 4 or 5 times most weeks, sometimes less, sometimes more.

Both full-time teachers so more at weekends and during holidays, less during the week.
I am 17 weeks pregnant at the moment and love it and it is school holidays so we do it most days- sometimes twice.

Can't imagine this will continue when baby arrives. Sad

SecretWitch · 26/07/2014 04:40

Married six years, together eight. I am 49, he is 47. We have been having sex more than usual lately. During the summer we have more alone time so we can be more relaxed. I guess we have sex once or twice a week.

We have had times during our relationship where weeks would go by with no sex. Stress and hormones can play havoc with my libido.

FoodieMum3 · 26/07/2014 15:52

We are both early 30's, 2 kids with another on the way.
2-3 times a week.
Some weeks it might be 4-5 times but none the following week.

geezerhere · 26/07/2014 19:32

If im lucky once every 2 years. There is only so much rejection a person can put up with

I8toys · 26/07/2014 19:48

Together 22 years, married 18 years and 2 children. Been trying to spice it up a bit with dressing up, anal etc so as not to get boring. Children go to my parents once a week so it's sexy time on Saturday night. I miss the spontaneity but he will not entertain the idea with the kids around.

morethanpotatoprints · 26/07/2014 19:57

Together 26 years and married for 22, we had spells of sexual draught when dc were little and again 10 years ago after surprise dd.
Apart from this we have always had regular sex if not every night then every other night. This seems to be the norm for us, but everybody is different.
I agree with others who say there is no normal and no problem with regularity as long as you are both happy.
We also did the dressing up and spicing up stuff and still do occasionally I think anything is healthy for your sex life if you enjoy it. We have gone full circle now and back to the honeymoon stage where I wait up for dh to come home, ah.

peanutnutter · 26/07/2014 21:18

I wish, once a month would be great its been 10 years Sad

LittleMissRayofHope · 27/07/2014 11:30

Together 4 years, married 1.5, dd is 2, due in September with DS.
Pre dd it was averagely 2/3 times a day. Somedays nothing. Post dd and it was like 1/2 a week, maybe mothing for a week or two then a few times in a row...
Between work, babies, house work and general grind of life it happens when it happens. I never compare to other couples though, personally. That's asking for trouble in my mind!!

MrsStatham · 27/07/2014 12:34

Married 18 years usually 3 times a week but we have dry spells in the winter for some reason.

BolshierAyraStark · 27/07/2014 17:35

Married 7 years, together 16-2 small DC. We have peaks & troughs so sometimes will be 4-5 times a week, other times lucky to do once. It works for us though.

SirChenjin · 27/07/2014 17:38

Genuinely interested - how do those of you who have teenagers (whose bedrooms are next door to yours and who are always awake) and a younger one (who is in bed around 8 and up early the next morning), and no family or friends who will take all 3 of them, and 2 full time jobs thrown in, actually manage to DTD?

Not going to say how often we get it on, but suffice to say, with the above, it ain't that often!

RainbowTeapot · 27/07/2014 17:38

About once a year for 3 years (And one of those produced child 2!)

Now it's at least once a day :)

mum2014 · 27/07/2014 23:27

We try to have sex most nights but with older kids it's becoming very hard to enjoy our sex life.
I did go through a few years where once a week or less would be ok but since stopping the pill my sex drive has increased think poor hubby is worn out with me wanting sex!

GothMummy · 27/07/2014 23:37

Twice a month due to lack of opportunity. We have wakeful children, who wont let us have any privacy - toddler who wont sleep in her own bed and 8 year old who wont stay in bed. And also because we are exhausted, both working etc.

Oh, and we are late 30s, married for 17 years.

bluevanman · 29/07/2014 13:20

Together 10, married 4, both late 20s with a toddler. Once a month if lucky. I need more but being patient..

commodoredawe · 30/07/2014 20:55

We are both 57, married for 30 years. We have sex with intercourse about twice a week. Customary oral for my wife before she drifts off (we got used to that) and a few joint masturbation. I find her still very attractive and can't keep my hands of her. I guess that helps. She has become a bit less active over the years. We are very open about what we like, want and what we do or have done when the other wasn't around.

I guess there aren't any rules. The important thing is that everybody is happy and their needs are looked after.

maggiethemagpie · 30/07/2014 21:21

2-3 times a month, would be more but we only like doing it in the morning and have two young children who often wake up early.... sometimes we can persuade DS to go downstairs and watch a dvd, and the baby can go in her cot for a nap. We then feel like we can't spend too long in case the kids disturb us so we are good at quickies! We've been together five years. I remember doing it six times in one night when we first met...oh them days

justwondering72 · 30/07/2014 21:42

We have been together 15 years, married 11. DH is mid 40s, I am early 40s. Two dc, oldest is 5. I think we do it maybe once a month? Too knackered, got books to read and tbh neither of us has a high sex drive I think. Other stuff to do that is more important.

It's a bit like going to the theatre. We dont do it for ages, then go and say 'wow, that was really great, we must do the more often!' . Then normal life resumes its usual hectic pace... And we don't. Until the next time!