How often do married couples really have sex?

[50000feet]

My husband thinks all other married couples are having more sex than we are, a couple of 45 year olds with two kids who do it about two to three times a month - Both full time workers with stressfull jobs. Anyone brave enough to tell the truth so i can get a realitic picture.

I have asked my mates but thats not a big enough picture.

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has been nearly two years for us. before that, about thress years of monthly rolling on top of me, quick few pumps then done.

it never occurred to me that i would be saying my sex life was over in my thirties.

oh well, i guess that's life for some. it could be worse.

i miss being desired, and touched though.

married 10 years, together nearly 14, two children under 7 - one a month and that's cos I feel guilty as I never want it. I'm too tired and we never go to bed at the same time. I'm normally asleep and he knows better than to wake me as I'm the one up at 6 with the kids!

My wife and I have sex everynight, unless one of us is sick. I am 51 and she is in her 60's. Go for the older woman and enjoy lifes simply incredible pleasure!

Married 24 years this years, one DS16, used to have lots of sex, dwindled after pregnancy, lots during a severe marital hiccough, these days hardly any, don't think we've done it this year

We don't really. In the space of 12 months we've done it 5 times, 4 of those for the purpose TTC. We then did it when I was 20 weeks pregnant. Baby is currently 6 weeks old and who knows when we'll do it again...

Together 11 years. In our 30s/40s. 3 DC under 10. Around once every 4-6 weeks.

It bothers me

Ladies / Gents
Wandering if anyone can help we don't ever seem to seem to have sex /intimacy. I'm 33, my wife 39 we have 2 kids (4&8), we have been together for almost 10 years and married for over 7, we live in a nice house, my wife is the breadwinner but I don't certainly don't have a bad job. We have nice holidays, cars, two dogs and plenty of friends and good family (That's the good bit)
But we don't have a physical relationship I think we have had sex once this year, last year maybe 10 times max, in 7 years of marriage I think she has made the first move maybe twice! I have stopped trying, to see what happens the result of which is my stimulus to write this! In the duration of the marriage we have never been at it like rabbits and probably never even average (once or twice a week?)
I try to book the odd weekend away just the two of us, I tried for a while to organise date night once a week (but being the only one ever organising and her making excuses for not, I stopped), I tried suggesting counselling (she point blank refused).I have tried talking about it and she just clams up, I have spoken to female friends and female family members from both side's and the consensus is that this is not normal.
I try to share the load at home helping out with the kids, cooking, ironing, DIY, looking after the dogs, working overtime to pay for weekends away.
We have our had up and downs and even though sex aside the last year we have got on pretty well she makes no effort at all with affection. It extends to little things like she will kiss the kids goodbye in the morning and forget about me most of the time (unless I initiate).
I'm sociable, fairly bright, in very good shape and attractive still, I have not gone to seed yet and still turn heads. I ignore those looks though, hoping that my wife will have the same apparent desire that a total stranger does, but she never does. I have never cheated on her and have re-butted all advances.
I love my family and want to be with my wife but I don't know what to do, any ideas? (No I don't think she is playing away!)

Hmmm I think you should be telling her all this . Why not print it out exactly as written and ask her for her thoughts ? you sound like a lovely DH and deserve some answers as something isn't right . I hope things work out for you both

Married 2 years, together 6. Sex twice a week normally. More in school holidays (both teachers working FT). I'm very happy with the frequency. Wouldn't want it more, DH never moans so I assume he is the same. About to have a baby though so I'm sure it will decrease!

Have spoken about this with best friend who has been with her DH ten years, no kids and maintains they shag 6 times a week. I absolutely don't believe her when would you get the time?!

We're in our early 30s, together 10 years with 2 children under 3yrs old and 2-3 times a month is about average for us. I'm hoping it will be a bit more frequent once the kids are older. We're very physically affectionate in other ways - kissing and cuddling as often as possible.

Generally once a week. Been married 14 years, one dc now 12.

More in summer... I hate to be naked and cold!! But we've gone three weeks sometimes, say he travels a whole week, one of is sick the next week and then the other us sick the week after...

But generally yes once a week. He'd be up for it every day and I just am not there.

A bit variable, but generally average out at about twice a week (married 20+ years).

Been together 10 years , two children youngest 5 , no sex since conception - over 6 years ! I'm struggling . No interest shown but doesn't seem bothered by it. Any one with an opinion please feel free to say something

Been together 10 years, have a ds aged 3. I'd say twice a week, never less than at least once a week sometimes more than twice (depending on how tired we are etc). If we are away on holiday and relaxed it's much more frequent. Prior to ds it was a lot more frequent but I am just so tired I'm ready for bed by 10 most nights and he's a night owl. It's much better when we make proper time for each other rather than a quickie before falling asleep!

rigjTBeen with d'p for 13 months. We don't live together, so we're obviously not married. I see him most wednesdays and every Friday, obviously we dtd on those days, and other day when we're both free for example we were both off work on tues so we spent the afternoon in bed, but I'D never saw himyesterday, so. It's swings and round abouts. Looks farward to seeing him Friday. If we did live together though. I think I'd be wanting to do it every night, and dp certainly wouldn't complain:-)
Everyone's diffferent though. No right or wrong when it ccomes to how many times a week a couple dtd. It's their business. X

Together 13 years. Two primary school aged children.

It ebbs and flows with us.,Sometimes we might not do it for a couple of weeks. Other times we are at it like rabbits.

DH has a high sex drive and would like sex every night. My libido ebbs and flows with my cycle, so sometimes I am just not in the mood.

We rarely go a full week without some sort of sexual contact, though.

Married 13 years, 3 kids, I'm 39, he's 43 and it would be very rare to go a week without sex. I would say it averages every second day.

Two or three times a week, I'm 28, hes 30, He has a pretty full on job with awful shifts whereas I piss bout on a farm or driving most of the time. 4 kids aged between 11 and 3, great relationship with the inlaws who babysit for us, youngest brother in law is still in highschool so him and his girlfriend babysit a lot at our house for 20 quid to let us go out.

I think my libido is higher than DHs so maybe I push it a lot of the time but we have fun together and even after all these years I still fancy the pants off him. Pregnancy is always a problem though, I want it all the time and hes knackered.

Not married but been together 10 years. Haven't had sex in about 9 months! But I've recently by had dd (12 weeks) and I hated sex while I was pregnant so it didn't happen, and we have 22 month old ds.
Will probably happen this weekend tho, I even shaved!

Oh I'm 29 and dp is 38

Together 31 years, married 21. Sex is usually once or twice a week. More when we are on leave together (rare!). We don't function very well as a couple without regular sex - less than once a week and we get antsy with each other. It took me many years to realise this! I used to find all kinds of reasons but the truth is it's the best and easiest way to connect emotionally.

Together ten years married 6. Two kids 5 and 3. Once sometimes twice a week is our max. I'd have it more but he's always too tired!

Married 28 years today. We have sex three or four times a week but in fairness my husband is away for a month working and comes home for a month

Three or four times per month. Baby, pregnant and working full time

Been together for 18 years and we have had sex twice since Christmas. It's him though not me.

He just refuses to be near me in that way. It's breaks my heart because I love him with all my heart and he says I'm an annoying freak for wanting it more.

Suppose I am a freak really. All I do is cry and pester him.