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Relationships

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How often do married couples really have sex?

279 replies

50000feet · 09/06/2011 19:41

My husband thinks all other married couples are having more sex than we are, a couple of 45 year olds with two kids who do it about two to three times a month - Both full time workers with stressfull jobs. Anyone brave enough to tell the truth so i can get a realitic picture.

I have asked my mates but thats not a big enough picture.


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OP posts:
elinorbellowed · 28/07/2012 09:12

Together 13 years but not actually married. Two kids under 6. Have had various dry spells since having kids. Now it's about once a week.
When I remember what we were like when we first met, it's like we were different people. We were both working two jobs, his was shift work, we only saw each other twice a week in daylight hours and we did it every time we saw each other, more than once. I cannot believe that was me.

noddyholder · 28/07/2012 09:14

Been together 21 years twice a week is average on holiday more in stress times less.

noddyholder · 28/07/2012 09:15

Feast or famine v common. When feast I always think why don,t we always do this and when famine I think I,ll never bother again!

WhirlyByrd · 28/07/2012 18:21

Together almost 15 years. 3 times in the past 3 years. Sad His choice, not mine.

GnomeDePlume · 28/07/2012 18:37

Married 20 years, 3 teenage DC.

Normally a couple of times a week. Lots of cuddling in between. Always kiss to say hello and goodbye.

MungoJelly · 28/07/2012 18:44

Mid forties, together 15 years, probably around 2 or 3 times a month. Occasional "dry" months and "good" weeks. He thinks that's a lot - I don't Wink

Margerykemp · 28/07/2012 18:46

Once if they have one DC

Twice if they have 2.

ByTheSea · 28/07/2012 18:49

We are late forties and married almost 15 years and similar situation to you - both stressful FT jobs. I find it comes in peaks and troughs -- sometimes 2-3 times a month and other times several times a week. I like those times best.

wornoutbutstillwonderful · 28/07/2012 19:04

On average once a week here, I used to have quite a high sex drive but I think I got sick putting in all the effort tbh (it felt like i made all the effort) Now I never seem to instigate it and don't mind it being as it is but I think Dh would prefer the old me!!!!
We have been together 18 and a half years married 10 of those, I am 34 he is 38.

DinahMoHum · 28/07/2012 19:08

been together 7 years.Have 3 kids. both in our 30s.
We have sex pretty much every day

JustFabulous · 28/07/2012 19:10

Can't remember last time we did it but in the last 3-4 weeks. Would like more but too knackered/kids awake/feel shy.

JustFabulous · 28/07/2012 19:10

Together 16 years. 3 kids. Aged 40.

Purplehonesty · 28/07/2012 19:14

Married 7 years, together 11.
Have 2 kids under 3. Youngest is 5 weeks so it has been about 2 months since we last saw any action.
Usually about once a week sometimes less. But then dh works shifts and sometimes we don't share a bed for nearly a week at a time as he has his own room to sleep in when on nights or lates.

crazygracieuk · 28/07/2012 19:22

We have been together 12 years. Ranges from 3 times a month to 5 times a week.

iloveACK · 28/07/2012 19:24

3 -4 times per month - both work full time with 3 under 5! Hard work though trying to fit it in!! Grin

clemetteattlee · 28/07/2012 19:27

Together 15 years, married 9, two children. Probably about once a month. DH would like more but this is a big improvement on how it has been in recent years. Having the children wiped out my libido completely. Four years post last baby I am gradually getting it back...

DoIgetastickerforthat · 28/07/2012 19:28

Married for 7 years together for 11 3 DC's under 8. Usually 1-2 times a week but just recently a lot less. I'm 16 weeks pregnant and DH has buggered his back so major drought here.

ALittleBitOfMagic · 28/07/2012 19:28

A few times a month normally but this can rise to once or twice a week for periods . Together 10 years married for 1 . One dc and one on the way . We both work shifts in stressful jobs .

AfternoonDelight · 28/07/2012 19:31

Been together 6 and a half years. It used to be 4-5 times a week. Now, between my illness and having a 1yo and a 4yo with ASD, it's more like 1-2 times a week if that.

Want2bSupermum · 28/07/2012 19:31

Almost everyday if we are both home. Been married for 4 years, in our 30s, both have busy schedules and DD has just turned 1.

LisaD1 · 28/07/2012 19:34

Been together 8 years, married for nearly 6, have 2 DD's, mine age 12 and ours age 5. Average is twice a week (usually Fri/Sat when work etc is out of the way!), more than that if we're on holiday or child free, less if stressed.

Very happy, loving relationship with lots of cuddles/kisses in between, DH would definitely want more if he could, I'm usually too knackered/lazy.

WhirlyByrd · 28/07/2012 19:40

Now I am feeling even more down about things Sad

KoPo · 28/07/2012 21:21

Depends on how you classify sex. If you just mean bog standard penis goes in vagina sex then 2 - 3 times a week.

But if your like me and count all the other real fun things you can do to achieve orgasms through as sex. Then we are currently running at about 8 -9 times a week

But there have been times when we have hardly had sex in any form for a while. And there are other times when wee seem to be like teenagers on heat. We are both in our mid 30's and have been married for 10 years.

Want2bSupermum · 29/07/2012 00:55

Whirly Just do what feels right for you as a couple. DH can be away a lot which is why we get it in when we can. While DH would never tell me this I know that the physical side of relationship is where he gets a lot of enjoyment whereas for me it is more the emotional side where I get enjoyment.

I am pregnant with DC2 so we will see what happens after they arrive. I hope things don't change but you never know.

TeenAndTot · 29/07/2012 01:04

Thank-you for asking, I was feeling like a weirdo with no idea what was 'normal'. It's late at night, baby almost 6 months and have just worked out no sex since 3 months pregnant. Sad
Married for 20years, teenager and new baby. Before pregnant as variable as 4 times per week to once a fortnight. As soon as I was showing, other half lost all interest in me as sexual person. No idea what's going on now, maybe the Breastfeeding? No cuddles or other physical affection either. Am missing it and it makes me ratty as hell.

So now realise there's no normal, it's more about how you feel about it. If you're happy with what you've got, good for you, if not, do you want to do something about it?

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