The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Head To The Summer Of Sobriety

[Mouseface]

Hello

I'm Mouse

Welcome aboard The Brave Babe's Battle Bus. There are a whole host of lovely posters here who will support your journey to sobriety, however you choose to get there.

We are a Bus full of drinkers, non-drinkers and those who are somewhere in between.

BUT - we will never judge or leave a poster out in the cold. So, find a seat and settle down for the journey ahead.

And HERE is the last thread and those before it too. Just follow the links to read the journeys so far.

Ta-da! Hey Zany, you okay my lovely?

Been at the hospital all morning with Nemo trying to get some help with his lack of sleep.

Cons Paed suggested getting his own bedroom sorted (er, we are ) and then leaving him to scream, kick off, throw stuff etc because he doesn't understand day from night.

Hmmmm............... how about fuck off? Seriously! He's referred him to the CAHMS team which is fine but locking him in his room (another suggestion) so that he 'gets it' is not on my list I'm afraid. So, once his room is done in the next week or so, I'll be reading him a bedtime story as per, following his bath and last tube feed and hopefully, he'll begin to feel that his room when dark is his room for sleep.

And other than that, his eyes seem ok but they want to monitor him and see him again in 3 months. Something that the look for with heart condition and cleft palate children apparently.

Hope you are all okay....

Off to make banana and ice-cream smoothies for DD's after school treat, and then off to feed the ducks at the castle.

Be back later Babes xx

Ok guys, this is the time of the day that I would normally like to open a bottle. I am attempting not to...nothing in the house...but I think I need something to distract me.

Any tips

Yes.

In your head, play back the video of the last time you opened a bottle of whatever and drank to your heart's content. Watch the film all the way through, from the first glass to the last glass to the next bottle to the shame of the next day.

Then decide if you fancy more of the same tonight.

Happy viewing!

kandi MIF is right about playing the film through to the end, I always started by imagining that a couple of drinks would make me relaxed, cool, elegant. In reality I usually ended up slurred, dishevelled and anything but cool (especially the next day). Can you do anything like get outside and go for a walk (not past the offie ) or buy some wool and needles and get knitting...

oooh where is everyone? Four hours without a single post. Hmmm have you all sneaked off somewhere for a cool cranberry juice without me?

Kandi

Did you make it through?

No

Hello everyone. I have been off here for a while - having a very rough time of it tbh. Finally had to admit to dh that i have run up debts that he knew nothing about when he has slogged his heart out to pay off the ones I ran up before and the ones before that. I am like a child with money. I feel like the biggest cow in the world but he has remarkably stayed with me..We have taken some advice and i am trying to get the creditors to freeze interest and take tiny payments as I still haven't found a job. Feeling very low and down and am drinking. I had to be ratarsed to face him about the money, but haven't actually had a drink since then (Saturday). We have never been this poor. Literally every penny and more is accounted for. We have all the benefits we are entitled to which are minimal as he is working part time, and I am trying so hard to get a job. Hopefully the house is safe - we get no help with that as have a mortgage..but dh wages literally just cover that I am such a failure . Hope everyone is getting on ok. Sorry to be so gloomy. Please feel free to ignore me!

Kandi

Never mind, you didn't die this time.

Incidentally, did you watch the film? Was last night a repeat or was it different this time?

lovecorrie

Why would anyone ignore you? Are you sure you're not just saying that to give yourself an excuse to drink again?

Anyway, no one could give you as hard a time as you can give yourself. You know you've fucked up, and you know that every drink you take is adding further to the debt - you must be in a vicious, sefl-feeding circle of drinking and guilt.

So much for the bad news - now what are you going to do about it? What are your strategies for stopping drinking? Or perhaps you still feel that you can cut down - in which case, what are your strategies for that?

Thanks MIF - just having a self pity frenzy of course! Well, I'm not allowed any money - basically dh is going to give me 'pocket money'. Sounds ridiculous, but that is what it is going to take. He will get a few cans in at the weekend and if i fancy one I'll have one - I won't be able to go and buy any drink myself as I have decided to give him receipts for everything I get (my idea not his). I just have to be stronger and more together about it all. What a wake up call !

When you say "you have to be stronger" it sounds like you think you can beat this with willpower, even as you are saying that you are in a position where your money and beer are being rationed by your husband.

Would it not be simpler and more pleasant just to stop fighting and stop drinking?

lovecorrie ahh just lost long post to you. Please don't beat yourself up too much, whats done is done you now need to move forward. You have told your DH and are seeking advice so at least you are doing something about it. Its going to be tough but hopefully you will come through this sober and debt free/reducing debt

I have to be stronger generally I meant. I think being out of work for so long has made me really lose confidence - it's not something I can deal with. It's still early days with the money thing and when I said about him buying cans - Imeant for him, not me, I don't drink 'cans' generally anyway. I can't drink. I don't want to drink. I want to be well and I want to be happy. That's it really.

Hello Babes.

Kandi - sorry to see you are having a rough time of stopping/controlling your drinking. You can only do this when you are ready. Every single fibre in your body has to want to do this. Keep going, we're always here to pick you up and plonk you back on the bus!

Corrie - Hmmmmmm, are you in debt due to your drinking? If so, I'd suggest that you take a serious look at what you just typed. That tells me that you hold the answer to having no money if you are spending it all on alcohol.

If not, what else can you do? Even stacking shelves in a supermarket has to pay the minimum wage now. Some money has to be better than NO money? Sorry you're struggling too. It's not nice to have money worries.

venus - how are you lovely?

I've been to the hospital this morning folowing my MRI scan. I have Degenerative Disc Disease, Herniated Discs and Facet Joint Syndrome. Basically this means that the disease will eat away at my discs, causing pain and mobility issues for the rest of my life. I've been given drugs to 'change' the way my CNS (central nervous system) works to help 'switch off' the nerves in my back.

They're not the nicest drugs and only have a 30% chance of working. I'm now on a waiting list for steroid and anasthetic injections. About a three month wait. Never rains eh!?!

So where are you all? Why's it so bloomin quiet on here?

Oh and in 2 days I will 100% own my own house as the completion will take place then as I am paying my XH for his share. A bit scary as I have to find an extra £200 a month but just pleased it all sorted. One thing I am going to do which might help you Corrie is for the next month list absolutly everything that I spend in a month, I think it will be shocking but hopefully will be easier to see where to cut down. Also sign up to Martins money saving ideas as he send out a weekly email with all the best deals for insurance, credit card balance transfers etc

Everything going well with new DP, its been 4 months now and he is coming to Glastonbury with me and my DC's.

Talk about not raining but pooring Mouse . Agree that getting Nemo to 'get used' to his room is ridiculas and seen as he has reflux problems I bet it would just make him be sick. My Mum has degenerative disc and it causes her lots of pain so I hope the new drugs work for you

X posted with you all

Sounds as though the romance is going well Zany and YAYAYAYAYAY! for owning your own house in 2 days time. I bet that is a massive relief for you? Knowing that your X no longer has ANY control over your life?

oh, new thread. Welcome, all, especially new people. Can I have an aisle seat near the front, only I'm still getting a bit queasy and might need to leap off at any moment? Ta very much.

Corrie, the amount of money we've saved since I stopped drinking is quite scary, and that's even with me getting all hormonal and ordering handmade baby blankets on Etsy. I was attempting to drink cheaply (box wine except on 'treat' nights) but it adds up over time. Also DH drinks less now - before we would always have a G&T and then split a bottle of wine (and some nights I'd stop there but not always) but now he'll have the G&T or a glass or two of wine and that's it. A bottle will stay in the fridge a few days.

Mouse! You poor lovely, I'm so sorry about your back and I hope the drugs work. God it's so unfair. I read something Riven said elsewhere today about her back being fucked from being a carer, it just heaps up, doesn't it, burden upon burden?

I haven't yet decided how I'm going to handle things when I no longer have an excuse not to drink. Not looking forward to that at all. Perhaps I should turn Quiverful.

It is a big relief Mouse although I suspect that he will continue to try and have control via the DC's, he is still very bitter which makes things so much harder. He is a good Dad but I hate the kids staying with him (2 nights a week) as I feel that I am the only one who completley understands them/their needs and who will keep them safe. I am a huge bit os a worrier.

Tortoise looks like its easy to forget how much drinking costs, I darent add up how much I used to spend and although I don't drink quite as much I am sure I still spend more than I can afford

I know, poor Riv. She has MS too and when she's ill, she's ill and that's that. No extra help for her DD. It's totally shite. But, life's too short to worry about what I can't change or control.

Onwards and upwards as they say, well maybe downwards for me, the doc said I might shrink a bit as my discs crumble and my spine shortens!

Re what to do when you're excuse not to drink runs out? Firstly, DON'T PROJECT! and secondly, find another!

Zany - no-one knows their child like a mother does, no-one. Children don't have the same bond with their father, however close they are. The mother will always be able to read what they need more than anyone else.

Small steps okay? Don't expect him to use the children to get to you. Although the chances are he will. Idiot.

Busy, busy, busy here, but always time to look on here and see how everyone is doing.

kandi don't worry, just keep coming back, read all the tactics and ideas, post about how you're feeling - you can get there

mouse that doesn't sound nice about your back. I bet you get very resourceful though. All the more reason for you to keep on putting pressure on for help with nemo.

Mouse from me, I think you are putting on a very brave mouseface. I really hope those drugs work for you.

just saying hi and goodnight. off to bed

Mouse, I wasn't very clear, I don't mean 'how will I stop myself from drinking', I mean 'will I tell DH that I Do Not Drink', which will be horrible and humiliating and awful, or do I just keep dodging the issue.

I'm only partly joking when I say I have thought along the lines of, well if I breastfeed for 18 months again and then we have another baby, I can go 4 years without needing to make a declaration...

Morning Babes,

Just checking in. It all goes a bit nutso for me, during the last few weeks of term.
Still on the bus, was rather hanging on by the skin of my teeth last night, so very tired, and haven't been sleeping well, but lack of sleep never killed anyone (thanks MIFfy!).

Love to all, hope to have some time later. xxxx