The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Giving Up Booze For Lent.

[Mouseface]

Hello.

I'm Mouse.

We are a Bus load of posters with various relationships with the demon booze. Some are sober, some are not and some are inbetween.

So come say hi and meet the rest of The Babes, there's always plenty of room on the Bus, the doors are ALWAYS open.

No judgy pants are worn on this journey, pants yes and even the odd Tena Lady but always of the non judging variety.

Previous Threads

Ma - fantastic news re DD, she has the most amazing voice, I'm not at all surprised! Go girl. I've not heard anything from my sis but she's still on the case for you. xx

IsinDe - keep going Brave Babe. One Day At A Time.

Evening babes

I saw the article Ma and did think to myself 3 bottles is quite good.

My friend has just called to say her daughter has had an accident and broken her leg, just waiting to hear news reg which hospital etc and then will go over to see them once DP is here othersise he will wonder where I have gone! Going to one of my closest friends Dad's funeral tomorrow, he was really young and a lovely guy. Feel bad that I had lost touch with my friend, a product of being with an abusive XP whom no one liked. Will not let that happen ever again!

Good resolve Zany re friends. Sorry about your friend's DD

Off to bed now.

Nemo has been horrid to me, hitting me and shouting at me. I'm hoping this is a phase, it's a phase, right?

Night night Brave Babes xxxxxxxx

night mouse
It's a phase and it will pass

massive cravings... :(

it's a phase mouse. His need for independence bit by bit will be wired with frustration at what he can't do.
DS had and still has to a lesser degree behavioural problems and when his brain got ahead of his physical capability we had horrendous rages and some very unpleasant violent behaviour. We had to involve the school, the GP and the behavioural people to help us deal with it. I worried that he would end up in care, especially after the awful Christmas when he smashed the Christmas cake and threatend me with a knife! he was 7 years old and more horrified than I was!!!
I think when a child's brain and body aren't in sync, it causes enormous frustation.
Tonight, this same boy sat cuddled up next to me watching Neil Oliver's Celtic Britain series, discussing the finer points of Bonze age and Iron age Britain and whether he should be an archaeologist or a chemist when he'solder!!

Isindie
I bet you are nearly as stunned as when you don't sleep at all! I hope this is the start of many, many sleep filled nights. Much love xxx

Sorry I haven't been around, I have been thinking of you all, and trying to read.

Mouse my lovely,it is^ a phase, the lovely Nemo is behaving like any little boy, which probably indicates advancement, more than anything else. Difficult, at the time, I know.
Mouse, sweetheart, I detect a bit of "putting on a brave face", at the moment, forgive me if I'm wrong, but sending you lots of love and huggeroos anyway.

Hello everyone else, too many to mention, as someone said, it would sound like an Oscar speech! This is such a lovely place to place to come, when a chat, some advice, or a rant is needed . I feel so lucky I found you all.

Love to all. xxx

Bless you [kiss]

way to go isindie.
Don't know if I can cope with a boingy Isindie after a bottle glass of wine last night......

Hello Babes.

thurso - spot on re brave face. I sobbed in the bathroom on my own last night. It's so hard to deal with after him being so loving and such a happy little boy. I know it's advancement but I'm not sure how best to cope with it so I'm going to ask for help. For the first time in his nearly two years, I need help.

Ma - You described exactly what I thought, the frustration thing, that Nemo can't tell me what he wants/needs/feels like. I don't understand him. I can't communicate so he gets cross and hits me. I'm glad I'm not on my own but sorry that you have been here too. xx

IsinDe - see? They can sleep when they want too! That is such great news. When Nemo slept through the night (3 times) I kept getting up to check he was still breathing! Daft sod that I am.

Well, busy day here! Train set to send back, docs later on, phone calls to make,washing to do...... and much more, I'm sure!

ARGH! Bloody bold, what is with it?

Morning all!

Isindi - wowee, clever babies! Hopefully they liked it so much that they'll do it from now on /[fingers crossed smiley]

Mouse - I won't pretend to offer words of wisdom, but it's good that you're expressing how hard you're finding this new phase (I truly don't mean that to sound patronising); make sure you ask for the help you need in dealing with it. Two year olds can test the patience of saints at the best of times, and it must be a zillion times harder when you have other issues to factor in.

More abx here today for persistent lurgy, but baby is much better and the sun is shining .

Can't remember if I mentioned this thread to DH the other day. I was worried he would just say something along the lines of "don't be silly", but he didn't; I was also more honest (although not entirely honest) about how much I'd been thinking about drinking and actually drinking. I can't remember who mentioned the other day about not saying anything in case of burning bridges: it did (and does) feel a bit like that, but in fact it's helpful. One day at a time and all that.

Hi to all other Babes lurking or otherwise.

Should say, can't remember if I mentioned here that I mentioned it to DH

Thank you Trist sorry you are still abing there, the sun really makes a difference doesn't it?

I'm glad that you and your DH have talked about your drinking, I was a bit nervous about telling DH at first and he did tell me I was being ridiculous. At first anyway, then he started to see that I was right, I did drink too much eahc and every night.

He's actually cut right back now

Hi babes, just checking in. day 4 for me today. Wednesday night was horrendous - attempted to go to meeting, hung about outside and then chickened out and spent 2 hours riding round on buses bawling my eyes out. really felt like I was going mad. DH still not talking to me but sent me a text saying that if I would only apologise for monday night, that would be a start. Have sent him a text back saying that i apologise for whatever I did. I just keep thinking about our wedding day and how emotional he got and kept saying that I'd made him the happiest man on earth. I can't bear the thought of him wishing he'd never met me. I feel in a double bind - whenever i'm really stressed about something, I drink to deal with it. Now I'm really stressed because I'm trying not to drink and the way I'd normally deal with that is by having a drink, it's become my only real coping mechanism. It's like having a room that i always headed for when I was sad, bored, happy, whatever and now it's got this huge NO ENTRY sign on it. I know I'm being really self pitying but am really struggling and the thought of a Friday night with no booze after a hellish week at work makes me feel really bereft. I'm trying to turn it round and think about the wonderful prospect of a saturday morning with no hangover. Thanks for listening.

hey mouse - make sure you get all the help you can. Ds couldn't articulate what was making him so angry when he was smaller and so he would get really aggressive. Once we were having a row about something and it was escalating and he shouted "you're not listening to me!" I replied (also shoutily by then i confess) "I AM listening to you" to which he responded "no you're not. You're only HEARING me!"
Once he broke down after a huge rage and sobbed "it's like I have lots of jigsaw pieces and I can't fit them together". Poor thing. didn't feel like that when me and the DDs were having to fend off blows and stop him trashing the house though.
it must be even harder when Nemo can't articulate his frustration. Can you use some sort of signs or codes?

"It's like having a room that i always headed for when I was sad, bored, happy, whatever and now it's got this huge NO ENTRY sign on it."

In time you will come to realise that it is not the NO ENTRY sign keeping you out but the huge, stinking pile of human shit in the middle of the floor of said room.

No one's saying you can't go into the room; only reminding you that it really isn't a very pleasant room to be in.

Upsy - KEEP GOING! An hour at a time. It's good that you are struggling, it shows that you are serious about trying to stop drinking the way that you have been IYSWIM?

Ma - I'm using very basic Makaton with him. He claps his hands, just once, and makes a noise, like 'eh' for no. I just wish he could talk, tell me what he wants but he doesn't even have words.

I can imagine just how hard it was for you. Your earlier post really struck a chord with me. I want to be the best mum and carer that I can for him but I really do think that I need to take a step back, try and detatch the emotion in me and be practical.

Easier said than done. Thanks Ma xx

Afternoon

Pleased to see your asking for help Mouse, I find it very hard to ask for help with anything even when I blatently need help or support. Seen the pix and Nemo looks adorable.

Have you got lots of lovely drinks in for later or non alcoholic beer maybe.

I have had a tough day today. It was my friends Dad's funeral and the church was packed which shows what a lovely man he was. Was very upsetting and not helped that I went with my XH! I have lost touch with my friend alot the last few years but being with her again is lovely, think I am going to go back to the restaurant/wake after work to see her again but will be driving.

DP went off to New York with his DC's this morning and very soppy but missing him. Already received about 5 texts since he left ay 6am. Oh and he has told me he loves me . Early days still but it feels very right.

indie you will have noted I haven't posted about all the times I really lost it with him, cursed him to hell and back and once dragged him out from under the table by his feet (where he was having a major ragie) and put him outside on the step and locked the door. Did I mention he was only wearing a vest?
i have long been president of the Bad Mothers' Society - Mouse deserves the Fabulous Mum badge!

and....speaking of weekends - I'm going to London with the Boy for a few days. Staying with sis and visiting as many free things as possible. Am ridiculously excited at the thought of just being somewhere else for a wee while.