The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Giving Up Booze For Lent.

[Mouseface]

Hello.

I'm Mouse.

We are a Bus load of posters with various relationships with the demon booze. Some are sober, some are not and some are inbetween.

So come say hi and meet the rest of The Babes, there's always plenty of room on the Bus, the doors are ALWAYS open.

No judgy pants are worn on this journey, pants yes and even the odd Tena Lady but always of the non judging variety.

Previous Threads

isindie are you around? Haven't seen you for a couple of days.

morning babes.
Thurso well done on the talk with DH. it will improve things for a while - just call me an old cynic!
bafana good job last night girl
venus - i can't get my bloody DD to leave home - how did you do it?
Hi to everyone else, still full of snot and germs here.......

morning!! getting ready for a week of successful commerce! nothing like a bit of confidence is there?

what is it with new partners?, my 1st h and i divorced over 20 years ago, no dcs, moved on, but stayed reasonably friendly, we still have mutual friends and see each other maybe twice a year - his partner of some years refuses to speak to me, look at me, spit on me if i was on fire! , i just dont understand it, the clue is in the term 'ex wife', we are divorced, no longer together, no longer and item!, she makes herself look ridiculous!

anyway - glad to see all you lovely babes had good weekends!, sorry you're snotty ma!

laters babes!

JWN

I totally understand that - I want to sit her down and say that I wouldn't want him if he were the last guy on earth, and that she is perfectly fine to have him , but I don't think it would help at all!!

Right, have caught up on my emails, off to meetings for the rest of the day! What fun

Morning all!

Golly "I've realised that I've been being terribly self centred about the whole issue although I have been asking other people how they've been, and I'm not sure how to go about changing that, especially as I have so many questions still about AA and how it all works." Stay self centred. The time for helping others will come soon enough and you will just "know" when it is. Besides, you are already helping long-term sober people by reminding them what it was like in the early days - when they see you sober and happy with it, they remember why they are still coming to meetings five years after their last drink - because it works! Make sure you are well yourself and that will help others enormously.

Bafana

An expression I heard in AA, which has really stuck with me, is, "If life was fair, I'd be dead."

Makes sense to me.

Hello Babes.

IsinDe - Nemo is 2 at the start of May. You know the rest

Ma - sorry you're still snotty. REST!

venus - I'm glad your DD is okay after the mugging attempt.

JWN - KICK ASS!

Rough night here. I think I'm 'downloading' my demons into my dreams. I had a night filled with horrible situations that I had to try and get out of...... like I had to solve the issues in my sleep so that 'real life' will be okay IYSWIM?

Anyway, I feel rubbish for such a fretful night. Diet coke and coffee for me today. xx

ma how did I get dds to leave home? Well I COULD say that I have nurtured them and helped them to grow up with just the right combination of tough love and unconditional support, so they feel confident to make their way in the world, knowing that they always have a loving home here anytime they need it. But I suspect that there wouldn't be much truth in that. More like a combination of benign neglect, strict rules, uncompromising love, not letting them get away with anything.... oh and did I mention that their mother was an alcoholic?

venus - {{{{{HUG}}}} xx

Also, children love their parents unconditionally, and vice versa.

Hi Babes. I'm nearly at the 9 months mark, and so far it's all good. BUT bugger, bollocks and buckets of bummfluff! What is it about the sunshine that makes my alcohol buzzer go off!!!!!! i am focusing on feeling hung over, with a pink bloated sweaty face, regaining the considerable tonnage I've lost over the last nine months. Im focusing on the headache and foul temper, that comes with the lack of energy. I'm focusing on the regret I would feel, and the head fuck that is the revloving door thoughts that come with drinking. I'm focusing on my next run, my garden and my Manboys, but i have to confess i'm struggling a bit Thanks for being there. xxx

MissPerrier

It's a Magner's moment. You imagine that you really ARE one of those people in the beer garden, drinking Magner's with ice (like some joke of a human) or making a Pimm's last all afternoon.

Now remember what you're REALLY like in beer gardens, barbecues, Henley, Sealed Knot conventions, whatever. Compare the two, cringe, and realise why you are still not drinking.

Morning All.

Bacon sarnie - now there's a thought - thanks Mouse

Namechanged - was 'White' when posting before. Hope to post more regularly.

I have followed all the threads and can only thank everyone - along the way I have laughed, felt sad/concerned and many other emotions and have a sense of not being the only person with a problem with alcohol.

For today I will not be drinking - it is so much easier for me than negotiating with my demons about how much I might drink, when, where and then finding myself at the end of a bottle (or more) and any 'deal' long since broken and on top of that a shed load of guilt ....

Hope today proves to be a happy and successful one for all.

MissP Congratulations on that length of time in charge of your drinking. I too have regular thoughts about just the one - a glass of champagne (what harm might that do) and feel hard done by. But the truth (when I care to remember) is that one would never be enough and I have a very real fear that just one would be the start of a very slippery slope.

awww venus i didn't mean to make you feel like that
i think the first part of your answer is probably correct anyway.
missperrier bloody well done to you!
indie the bad news is that they never sleep until they are teenagers and then they won't get up.
Friend of mine has just called - his wife is drinking two bottles of wine a night and has been for some time! Usually follows this with a few whiskies. How the bloody hell does she manage to get up in the morning????
On a whole other level, can't stand the woman (nothing to do with the drinking) but feel honour bound to tell him to tell her about this bus.....just don't want her here but maybe she won't "recognise" me!
She certainly needs help, and this place has helped me enormously. If a major PITA arrives on here, you can blame me....

Ma - I'm sure well beat the PITA out of her with our charm and wit

Venus

" I have nurtured them and helped them to grow up with just the right combination of tough love and unconditional support, so they feel confident to make their way in the world, knowing that they always have a loving home here anytime they need it."

This is what you've done Venus my darling, and this is the one that counts, that's why she's coming back to you.
I know just how you feel, though, it's very hard and shaming to look back on some things

Aw thanks babes - you've been so nice to me about dd, I feel quite teary. What a great place this is to post all sorts of things. In reality, probably all of what I wrote is a bit true. But it would be so easy to come on here and be all oceans of calm and serenity and ignore the chaos that was going on in my life beforehand. Tbh one of the biggest factors in dd2 leaving home was that I wouldn't let her and her bf sleep together here - [a very, very evil grin]

I've taken my guidelines from a friend of mine - no mixed sex sleep overs until 6 months after I have met the bf. So that means that during the uni years she can't just turn up here with a bloke and say she's been seing him for ages...

isindie be thankful that your dts are so little and haven't yet got to the stage where they turn up with a french speaking boyfriend, and you have to have yet another conversation about why they cannot sleep together in your house.

And yes, I'd leave home if those rules were applied to me

Waaah, Venus what shall I do then?

DC1 has had his (1st girlfriend, as far as I know) since January, and wants to bring her home at Easter. We do have a spare room (where DH wants DS to sleep), but DS does have a double bed in his room, and I know they have been staying together at uni. What to do...... also don't want DC2 in the room next door to feel awkward.

How did I get this old? I can remember so well, creeping across the landing at my parents to get to various boyfriends my one true love's room

VENUS!!!!! THANK YOU! THANK! THANK YOU!! dh and i had long coversations about the bfs sleeping over and came to the same conclusion! - dh felt really uncomfotable about dd having guys stay overnight in her room and said the exact same thing, kind of, this is not a knocking shop, its our home, we dont want to meet some guy on the landing in his pants etc!, SO, we have stuck to it and it has worked!, dd does spend quite a lot of time over at her bfs (why oh why do parents of boys find it so bloody accecptable to have girls stay over in their rooms?, is it because they think that they wont be landed with the baby? ) anyway, it seems both dd and bf respect the ruling, we are getting to know him (and he seems a nice guy) and im pleased we stuck to our guns!, as dh said 'where do these guys get off, they think they can eat my food, watch my telly, drink my beer and then shag my daughter, they can piss right off!' and believe me, he is a mild mannered parent!

OOh, sound like a slapper! not that many, and I was older than DC when I left home

never explain thurso!!

JWN us boy mums worry what to do too

i know YOU do thurso!, you are a thoughtful person! , i have just been so shocked over the years at the actions of some parents of boys, it really does seem to me like its a kind of 'fill yer boots son' mentality and i am in no doubt as to who would have been left to pick up the pieces of a young pregnancy!

hmm, looking at that, perhaps dd should have raised the bar a bit! , trouble is, shes like me, loves a bad boy! , took me years of pain before i fell for a decent chap! perhaps im jaundiced?

The strange thing is that DH is much more uncomfortable about it than me. I wonder if he is finding it hard to think of DC2 as a "man".

I don't have girls, so I don't know how I'd feel about sleepovers for them.

This will be the first girl that DC has EVER brought home as a proper "girlfriend", perhaps I should get her mum's number, and speak to her, not!

I did have long chat with DC, and said that I didn't want GF to think that I would just assume they would be sleeping in the same room, after all, she doesn't know the clues DC has given me (I think he is in first flush of love, and wanted me to know indirectly), and DC said "do you always overthink everything like this, mum, it must be very tiring"