Discovered box of secret stuff belonging to husband

[Sadandbrokenheartedwife]

Hi all
last night I found to my horror mthings I wish I didn't. Explict, dirty pics of DH's ex and also a large document detailing the end of their relationship and of when he tried to kill himself over her. It ended in 98. They were together 9 years. I feel sick, want to confront him, I can't let this go, please help??!

Have name changed.

it was 12 years ago

yes!!!!???????

I don't think you should confront him at all, I think he'll be upset that you've been snooping. You shouldn't have read that letter, it sounds very personal. He'll be mortified.

Oh wow, erm.. no advice really. I would confront him with it in a non accusatory way - more in a "I came across this, isn't it time you got rid of it now?" sort of way.

Sorry forgot to say that he only moved in with me last year, we married this year. So he choose to bring this stuff into MY HOUSE! We have a newborn btw. Im gutted!!

You're being a tad dramatic

It's not really any of your business, to be honest. Why on earth did you go on reading when you realized what it was?

i would be and a bit pissed off about the pics but the rest is his private stuff.

why should he have to wipe out his romantic past?

So, people arent allowed to keep anything of their lives? FFS, dont be ridiculous.

The document is a journal which inclused emails to and from his ex and her family, almost begging her to stay with him etc. He was admitted to hospital for a while due to suicide attempt.
On another note I worry about my DD and my SS finding this as it contains hurtful stuff which could greatly upset them!!

your dd is newborn.

When is she going to find it?

SS=??

Just put the box in the rubbish - DH is hardly likely to ask you where it is, is he now?

sorry xpost

I feel insulted that he should have brought them info my house when we were starting to live together, I feel he hasn't moved on. He has also been in touch will one of her family on fb, and his now a friend of his AFTER 12 YEARS!!!!

How did you find it? Just by chance or were you looking for secrets?

I would want to talk to him about it too but don't 'confront' him. It is in the past and has nothing to do with your present together, I imagine, unless there are other issues in your relationship. Think back to yourself 12 years ago, or to a serious relationship that ended badly, and think about whether you'd want to be judged on your behaviour then.

I would expect my dh to get rid of explicit pictures of exes though.

SS - step son

You need to get over your jealousy of his past, because that is all this is.

Give the poor man a break. He is allowed to keep a few things from his past without his partner having a go at him. Why would your baby find it?!

The stuff in box file on shelf in hallway. Worried our kids could see this after his death. TRUST ME this will not help them at all!

After his death
Very good OP

The pics are of sex acts etc btw, im very upset.

Id be livid to find explicit photos of my DH and his ex I am truly shocke dthat anyone thinks this is ok.