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Original poster

Discovered box of secret stuff belonging to husband

207 replies

Sadandbrokenheartedwife · 09/11/2010 18:18

Hi all
last night I found to my horror mthings I wish I didn't. Explict, dirty pics of DH's ex and also a large document detailing the end of their relationship and of when he tried to kill himself over her. It ended in 98. They were together 9 years. I feel sick, want to confront him, I can't let this go, please help??!

Have name changed.

OP posts:
moomaa · 09/11/2010 20:03

Erm, why don't you just wait until he comes home and say 'I was looking for the finance documents and there are some things in that box that I don't think should be kept in the hall, do you want me to bin them or put them in the loft?'

Gets rid of them without making a big deal. He is allowed to keep his stuff and I would bet he has just forgotten they are there.

kittya · 09/11/2010 20:04

Can i ask how old your DH is out of curiousity, are you alot younger than him. Son in his twenties and managed a nine year relationship inbetween, Im thinking that hes older (maturer?)

I think its none of your business and you shouldnt go rooting through peoples things. I take it this was before we all had mobile camera phones, which is why they are proper photographs? how pornagraphic are we talking? you could throw them away and leave all his other stuff but I know if it was me I would just ignore it. It was along time ago and he was clearly messed up over it. I dont think you will gain anything by opening old wounds. He might not of even gone in there and looked for years. Even so, its his stuff and I would leave well alone.

I think you feel threatened by this woman.

Original poster
Sadandbrokenheartedwife · 09/11/2010 20:08

Just to clarify, he moved into my house before marriage bringing with him his stuff, he did bin loads of other stuff. Point being HE felt its ok to bring this stuff into my home. IT IS NOT OK WITH ME AT ALL. He should have asked. I have a right to know what is in MY HOME DON'T I??!! He is obsessed with this woman. He can't seem to let go, thats my other point! She rejected him, she doesn't want him!

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 09/11/2010 20:08

OP, are you actually reading any replies ?

virtually everyone has said that the photos are out of order and you should tell him to get rid

the journal, well that is a different matter

it was a part of his life that helped his recovery...you would be a strange person to make him deny all that

but you are coming across as quite strange, so perhaps that is a moot point

CoteDAzur · 09/11/2010 20:08

YANBU re sexually explicit photos.
YABVVVU re all the rest.

Those are his private belongings. You have no business going through them, less to be angry about them.

I have had a horrible period in my life when I contemplated suicide. I still keep the mails I wrote at the time, talking about how the pain feels and chronicling my journey from that misery to where I found myself a year later. It is not because I still care about the man who put me through that hell, but because it documents an important chapter of my life.

That journal is probably important to your DH for similar reasons.

simonedeboudoir · 09/11/2010 20:08

Oh ffs I'm with booboo

Have a nice cup of tea and a few of these BiscuitBiscuitBiscuit

AnyFucker · 09/11/2010 20:08

drip...drip....

come on, you are losing momentum

how else is he obsessed with her ?

BooBooGlass · 09/11/2010 20:09

Seriously people, don't feed it

Original poster
Sadandbrokenheartedwife · 09/11/2010 20:09

Photos contain close up of sex acts and close up of her vagina in all her glory. I feel a right to be bothered by this!

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 09/11/2010 20:13

oh, I am at a bit of a loose end this evening Wink

Sparklerz · 09/11/2010 20:14

How do you know it's her vagina? Is it labelled?

jamaisjedors · 09/11/2010 20:14

SO GET RID! What are you waiting for?

Or are you at a bit of loose end too OP? Hmm

AnyFucker · 09/11/2010 20:15

what do you mean, sparklers, could it be her elbow or summat ?

phipps · 09/11/2010 20:16

FFS it is HIS house too Hmm.

Original poster
Sadandbrokenheartedwife · 09/11/2010 20:16

I agree the pics and journal are two seperate things here.
Journal - if he didnt want me to read them why didnt he lock them away?
photos - did he not think they would upset me

OP posts:
BitOfFun · 09/11/2010 20:16

Possibly an earhole? If she had slightly hairy ears.

Sparklerz · 09/11/2010 20:17

Well it could be anyones vagina? If it's a close up.

BooBooGlass · 09/11/2010 20:17

Toes? Mine are looking a bit hobbit like

perfumedlife · 09/11/2010 20:17

How do you know he is still obsessed with this woman op?

RealityBomb · 09/11/2010 20:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BitOfFun · 09/11/2010 20:17

I don't expect my husband to stick my tampons up his arse, but I can still leave them in the bathroom without expecting him to even open the box.

Original poster
Sadandbrokenheartedwife · 09/11/2010 20:18

After all these years he has found out her addrees and tel number etc................ Should i not be worried?

Are any of you lot listening to me??

OP posts:
phipps · 09/11/2010 20:18

Are you sure? Hmm

Where did he get the photos developed then?

RealityBomb · 09/11/2010 20:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BitOfFun · 09/11/2010 20:19

Once you clocked what was in the file, Reality, surely you'd just say something to him without going batshit over it?