The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Carry On Past The Vineyard.

[Mouseface]

Welcome to the Bus!

I'm Mouse and you'll find me snuggled sat at the back where it's warmest!

If you're sober, drinking, or somewhere between the two, you are more than welcome on board.

No judging, no cliquey groups and no closed minds here, oh no! Chances are, no matter how bad you may be feeling right now, one of the Brave Babes will have been there too!

So, come say hi.

And, to read the last thread and other journeys so far, follow this link

desire red-heads have more fun

Hi Guys,

Threesteps so sorry to hear about your Dh and friend.
I am taking everyones advice on here, as my Dh is having a bit of a bum time at work at the mo, although he tends to work it out through sport. I think we need to talk tonight though, it has all been about me lately, which isn't right.

I really need to get my pecker up, as I feel really, really rotten just now. I have been physically in work this week, instead of "researching!" from home, and as I drive back I so want to get in, have a glass of wine, and feel it creeping through my system in the warm and tingly way (is this just me?). I haven't (day 14), but then, I'm really cross about it.

I'm also wondering, as my DC's are much older whether they will only remember stopping at the off licence, and empty wine bottles, even if I stop now.

I feel a right Fu*ety, fk, f**head, going to go and eat worms.....

So sorry if I've upset anybody, you are all so great.

Just read my message,

I sound like such a miserable person. I didn't mean to, but just feel very down at the mo. Don't know why.

I'll come back in a bit. I knew I shouldn't have posted that.

Sorry

Hi thurso, was just wondering where you were!

I went through a lot of anger about not being 'allowed' to drink. (It felt like I wasn't allowed anyway even though I was making the choice not to. I almost went through a mourning process, mad though that sounds!)

I am not sure what to say about your DCs as I don't have any but I know that JWN has a daughter in her late-teens(?) so she might have some advice on that.

That's lovely that you are able to think about your DH and his needs rather than 'Where's my next drink?' Well done!

Could definitely do with some fun in my life Red
Thurso if you are planning on talking with your husband tonight and making it about him, then will drinking wine make it about him or about you?

Thanks Red and Desire

Doesn't sound mad at all to me, red, I know exactly what you mean.
Desire you are absolutely right, my conversations with DH have been so much more "two way" this last couple of weeks.

I haven't posted as I've been feeling rotten, and didn't want to be a downer on everyone, so I am sorry.

I did have a complete abberation about 10 minutes ago, when I thought "well I am going to go to the shops", but came on here instead. You are lifesavers, and I really don't think that's an exaggeration. xx

thurso you're allowed to feel shit, have a moan, whatever. No need to apologise.

Thurso moan away, we are all only human, and it is impossible to be upbeat the whole time, just take it minute by minute, hour by hour today. Sometimes I think we all need to post more when we are feeling down because it helps to get it out of our systems and no-one here judges us.

thurso - you must post when you feel shit, that's a danger time. The rest of us have a right old moan when the need arises. Someone else will be about to lift your mood and then one day you will see someone having a hard time and you will be able to help them. That's how the Babes work!

I have also thought that I don't want to post when feeling down in case I bring others down but then I remember how good it makes me feel (don't mean in seflishly) if I can offer words of comfort to someone in RL if they are feeling low. Just a thought.

Thurso also if you type/write down you sad thoughts as well as happy thought then sometimes it helps to see things more clearly.

I sometimes find myself saying things out loud and them immediatly contradicting myself when I realise what I'm saying is silly/wrong, or maybe thats just me. lol

Thank you,

you are right, I have been stewing away, and I don't want to dump it on Dh tonight, although he wouldn't mind. I do tend to go off radar when I feel low. People pleaser here too !

Also sorry for using the F word, not like me at all, but sometimes it's the only one that fits :)

Agree with zany

OK it's almost hometime for me! Hurrah! Hope that everyone has good, safe and sober evenings.

See you all tomorrow!

Have a good night moomin

Thurso - take note of what the others say: this is not a 'happy club', sometimes some of us are bouncing and joking, sometimes we have realy crap going on in our lives, sometimes we just feel woebegone for no reason at all.

Night Red, enjoy your evening.

In reality, most of us are alcoholics in the early stages of recovery - it is not surprising that we feel as though we are (individualy and collectively) on an emotional roller-coaster.

If you put us all together in an 'alcohol-rehab programme' there would be several experienced counsellors, health professionals and psychotherapists around. And here we are - Brave Babes are doing for themselves. In our own lives, and supporting others, we are exercising control and choice.

OK we sometimes fall over but then mostly we pick ourselves back up again and just bloddy get back on the bus. Day afer day, this is how we are doing it.

Hello,

Can I have a ticket for this bus please? I've been lurking for a couple of weeks and think you guys are incredible. You made me manage 8 days, but then I stumbled and fell last night and drank loads. This was in response to having a social encounter with somebody where I felt I came across as shy, awkward and ill-at-ease. I came home and drank to blot out my feeling of shyness/shame. Didn't even enjoy it and don't feel too good today, physically or mentally. But the amazing thing about this thread is that I feel excited to keep trying, rather than daunted and helpless as I have in the past.

I feel I have semi-conquered the drinking in response to a shit day at work, because I am aware of it as a trigger, but awkward social occasions where I feel I came across badly will be tricky.

I suspected I had a problem years ago when I lived on my own and drank most nights to silence my loneliness and depression. When I moved in with dh we'd share a bottle of wine about twice a week, so I felt I had it under control, although I knew that I couldn't have alcohol in the house without drinking it. I look at people with wine racks and think 'wow, how do you do that?'

Fast forward to now and my marriage has failed. Dh moved out a couple of months ago and I have slipped into consoling myself with alcohol. I was shocked to find that the bottle of wine I thought would last me two nights now gets polished off in one sitting. I'm racing through the first couple of glasses to get to that glass that gives you that high. The bottle is finished in about an hour. Then I start a text conversation with dh which usually ends badly.

I need to stop now for my physical and mental health, my career, my children, just everything.

Sorry for the huge post but I just wanted to introduce myself.

All good in the house of hormones and attitude! Loads to do this evening, which will hopefully see me through until bedtime.

Hi embracing yours is a very similar story to mine. Well done for posting an introducing yourself. You seem to have made some real progress already.

Welcome embracing . Just one thing that you are wrong about... WE didn't make you manage 8 days sober.. YOU did that. You did it becuase you are ready to make a change - we are just here to support and help in any way that we can.

You have done a load of the hard stuff already - you undertand your own vulnerability ("can't have alcohol in the house without drinking it"), you are aware of some of the triggers, and you can see how you behave with a bottle of wine. Now comes the gentle stuff: being kind to yourself and indulging in things that are actually good for you (or at least not as bad as another bottle of wine); forgiving yourself for not being perfect; being proud of all the positive things you ARE doing for your mental and physical health, your career, your kids; gradually learning to like and love the shy person that you really are.

Lovely to have you on board.

Hi there witchety - you will find this difficult to believe in your house of hormones and attitude (which I assume means teenagers) but I am a bit empty-nest at the moment and I actually miss the stroppiness and the demanding behaviour - who would have thought it at the time? dp and I are so terribly 'nice' to each other and I'm kind of noticing the absence of fiery retorts and cruel teenage wit.

Hi embracing. Well done for managing to only drink for 1 day out of 9.

Try not to beat yourself up over things that have happened, I often think that kids should come with a guilt warning as you always feel guilty about something and I know that when I ended my marriage because I was unhappy then this just increased the guilt ten fold.

It may not feel like it but you are taking big steps at the monent and 8 days is brilliant

I can understand how you feel venus - every so often, even in the middle of the sarky comments flying my way, I think...one day I won't have this.
And of course...teenagers can be really good fun and have are full of ideas and opinions....just have to not kill them before they grow up!!

I mean but 8 days is brilliant. Dahh

witchety my dd2 (aka my little baby) is in India on her own..... .... well obviously not on her own (that would be difficult in Inida anyway ), she is with some others, but there are moments when I would give a lot to have her back here being sullen or being cheeky.

It is fab that she is off and doing this, but I miss her.

How old is she venus