The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Carry On Past The Vineyard.

[Mouseface]

Welcome to the Bus!

I'm Mouse and you'll find me snuggled sat at the back where it's warmest!

If you're sober, drinking, or somewhere between the two, you are more than welcome on board.

No judging, no cliquey groups and no closed minds here, oh no! Chances are, no matter how bad you may be feeling right now, one of the Brave Babes will have been there too!

So, come say hi.

And, to read the last thread and other journeys so far, follow this link

hi all!, not a bad days work - got an 'in' to a potential new client on friday!

christi - chin up girl!!, you're doing a great job! and it WILL get better you know!

see you all later!!

JWN good news on the potential client, you must be chuffed!

JWN well done - I bet you wouldn't have been doing so well in your business if you'd still been drinking.

Christi glad to see you around, I was just thinking about you on this cold, sunny, scottish day.

venus did you get the gales on Sunday night? I thought the roof was going to blow off my house!

ah, all looks lovely and cosy on the bus today , which I could get on a hide under the back seat.

Well done everyone for doing so well. I haven't tried the teeth brushing trick, but will definitely give it a go if I'm wavering, which is really quite possible.

Found out first thing this morning that the company my closest friend works for has been put into administration. She's not being paid until the administrators has worked everything out.

An hour later I received a call from DP to say that all the staff at his company have been put on 30 day's notice. At the end of that, they'll decide who to keep and who to let go.

I feel like the floor has disappeared. DP was so calm on the phone and practical, and I was the one who was a gibbering wreck!

I work but am self-employed so my income isn't guaranteed.

I can't stop thinking about getting wine in for this evening. (Translate that as I'm thinking of getting trashed this evening ).

I am going to be telling it to fuck the fuck off for the rest of the day but am already feeling stressed and feel like the wine would help blot out feeling so worried.

threesteps come on you can do this. Watch the film to the end and all that. I know that it seems like everything is shit but I promise you that booze will not make it better.

• Will it ensure your DH keeps his job?
• Will it bring more work to you?
• Will it help your friend?

NO NO NO!!!

This too shall pass, I promise you lovely.

FRUIT SHOOT

threesteps I can't remember if your DP also drinks or has been cutting down with you? Not sure why that is relevant, but I guess I am just thinking that he may need support from you tonight...he may have sounded calm, but I am sure he doesn't need added stress.

threesteps I really don't want to come across as harsh but I know all the excuses as you might be aware of from what's happening to me:
Horrific debt? Drink
Divorce? Drink
Estranged from parents? Drink

All the drink has done is made everything 100 times worse for me.

Oh god, sitting here in tears, which I'm sure is a massive over-reaction when my friend and DP are facing facts like adults!

This too shall pass is exactly what I need to keep in my mind, thanks red x

I know drinking wont help but the little bugger's in my head telling me it would be just what I need in the circumstances, wrong, wrong, wrong...

Hi witchety, sorry I x-posted with you.
DP drinks but only at weekends, in total control of his drinking.

You're totally right, he will need support and for me to be strong, not a wimpering idiot. I'm NOT going to drink tonight.

red, with all the truth of your last post, I snorted as I could just hear Father Jack shouting 'Drink' 'Drink' 'Drink' !!

threesteps - sorry to hear about your day, and you know that redmoomin is right about a drink not making any of it better, and actually it doesn't even make the pain or worry go away.

Being self-employed at the moment is a strange beast - yes your income is not guaranteed, but at least you have SOME element of control over getting more business in, and you probably have more idea over the next 6 months how things are going. Many people in employment have the illusion of security, but in fact their jobs and income can be gone without warning (as your friend has discovered).

For tonight, I'd suggest just doing whatever your dh needs in the way of support - time to talk / distraction / apparent normality / planning for all eventualities. Let him lead and try not to share your worries with him tonight (plenty of time for that over the next few weeks). If HE wants to get pissed, then you could be there to pick up the pieces (just for tonight - no need to join him). I know that this affects both of you, but for tonight, try letting it just be his worries that get the attention.

Over the next month you could do some more practical planning - look at your finances, look at how jointly your income and expenditure could balance. Maybe even dream a little - is there something he's always wanted to do career-wise? Are there any hidden opportunities?

All of the above is easier when you are sober. But you know that. Take care x

Then over the

threesteps I didn't mean to sound harsh...I know this is really scarey for you as well...I suppose I thought it would feel so much better if you could both pull together....maybe spend the afternoon focusing on how you can do that this evening.
x

threesteps at least I made you giggle! (I used to find Father Jack totally hilarious little did I know that a few years later I would be just the same as him!)

Thank you all so much.

Please don't be worried about being too harsh, it helps to have things spelled out. There is nothing to be gained from me going on a bender tonight, least of all for DP.

venus DP in fact said on the phone that this might be nudge he needs to start in a new direction which he's been looking at. We will sit down this evening and have a proper talk about options and what it will mean if they let him go. He's bloody good at what he does so he'll be okay, I'm sure of it.

If he doesn't have a drink, I think I'll be fine. If he does, it will be more tricky, he doesn't drink during the week though, and he is a creature of habit

just checking in.
all ok here in sunny SA.
Where are we going tomorrow?

Don't project threesteps, I know, I know, easy said but drink may not even come into the equation this evening so no point stressing about it.

threesteps you will be FINE even if he does have a drink if you choose not to. You don't have to drink just because he does. At this point you are in control. As soon as you take the first drink though you are no longer in control and all bets are off.

biancacb how about wonderful Cape Town - the winding route along the coast, we could do some whale watching.

venus and biancacb Cape Town sounds wonderful for tomorrow!

Yes, no projecting, feeling better actually after a bit of a cry.

The last thing I want or need (or more importantly DP wants or needs) is an out-of-control and pissed threesteps this evening so am NOT going to be drinking tonight [bangs head on table and drums it in - ouch!].

I better get on with some work or I won't be paid either but I will check in later in the evening - sober!

You are all so bloomin' lovely on here! Really thanks so much, speak to you all later xx

"Talk" to you later threesteps, and if you feel tempted to drink tonight read over your last post and hopefully the temptation will pass!

thanks desire
Loved reading about your hair makeover by the way, bet it will look fab!

good luck threesteps
CT sounds great - better than joburg at the moment I'm sure. Although we have had a beautiful day here today

Cheers threesteps:) it's a start anyway:):)