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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Carry On Past The Park Bench!

1000 replies

HammerMouseOfHorrors · 18/10/2010 10:54

Hello Smile

I'm Mouse and one of the Brave Babes on the Battle Bus.

The bus is never full and you'll find a real mix of people on board, all with the same goal.

To take control of their drinking. Whether that's to stop completely or cut right down.

Everyone is welcome to get on the bus at any point. You will receive a warm welcome and plenty of support.

Some come meet the others.........

The journey so far.

JWN's original thread

Thread two

Thread three

Thread four

Thread five

Thread six

Thread seven

Thread eight

Thread nine

Thread ten

OP posts:
venusinthehauntedhouse · 26/10/2010 23:08

God yes, JWN, and the poor girl having to deal with it.

Yet despite the awfulness of it, I could just hear what I would have said if it had been me.

"I hardly drink much at all"
"I don't usually drink till the kids are asleep in bed"
"It was a one-off"
"I promise it will never happen again"
"I've just been so unhappy"
"I can do it on my own"
"I don't need external help"
"I don't trust the GP"
"I'll switch from vodka to wine"
"I'll only drink at weekends"

terrifiedincorner · 27/10/2010 00:40

Sorry Babes, I'm being a right wuss and posting when I know you'll be in bed Smile

I'm so grateful for your support when I posted last week. I'm the alkie with a drink-fuelled Halloween weekend approaching. I haven't told anyone about my decision to quit so am going to wade through the coming weekend in a haze of alochol, hopefully to the extent that a period of long-term sobriety after the weekend will seem like a pleasant option.

On a positive note, I didn't drink from last Wednesday to tonight - yay!. Tonight I went to the pub (for a pub quiz - which we won - yay!). I'm cross with myself as after a few days of sobriety I wanted to not drink tonight. But I asked DP on the way there, 'should I have a beer?' and he said 'why not'. So I had 3 beers, and 1 whiskey to celebrate winning the quiz when we got home, and then cracked open a bottle of wine after DP went to bed Blush.

I want to get on the bus, but I'm not quite there yet, but I am trying and I'm definitely lurking. You'll be sure to hear from me after the weekend, if I'm welcome Blush

TheAntiChristi · 27/10/2010 07:23

karmann we'll have a look, i'm on my phone so not feeling very techybut can another babe please link it?

TheAntiChristi · 27/10/2010 07:29

terrified looking forward to seeing you next week

ready for a confession girls? [hblush]

venusinthehauntedhouse · 27/10/2010 08:01

Hi Christi - confess away.

PS I have to laugh every time you re-post you previous posts, I can just imagine how cross you are getting at the tecgnology Grin

dichototmy · 27/10/2010 08:05

good morning babes!

First of all,I didn't drink yesterday - made a concious decision and stuck to it - despite being offered a drink at a friends house and having drink in my own house(not mine - my sons)

I have been pondering the subject of "taboo"

it seems to me that since I joined the bus, not drinking had become MORE of a struggle - it's become something that I'm "not allowed" - in otherwords taboo.

I'm also a yo-yo dieter, and I think it's for the same reason - when I'm "not allowed" certain foods I end up wanting them more and ultimately binge. I do it every time.

This is something I'm going to have to deal with I think - does anyone else feel the same or understand what I mean?

Hope you are all ok today Smile

venusinthehauntedhouse · 27/10/2010 08:12

Hello terrified well done on posting, but don't rely too much on setting away with secret posting in the dead of night - sometimes there are people up with little babies, or with insomnia, and you might just get a reply Wink

Well done on not drinking since last week, interesting that you asked dp whether you should have A beer, but then you had a few. That sounds like me. I would say a glass of wine, but I never, ever meant a glass (unless we were counting the glass that the bottle was made of).

Don't overthink your weekend - just take it as it comes and either do drink or don't. To be honest, I don't really envy you at the moment, the prospect of a boozy weekend and a monumental hangover does not seem enticing, but I also know that if I was in that situation I could be persuaded all to easily to join in. Enjoy, and come and join us next week.

TheAntiChristi · 27/10/2010 08:29

i am truly sorry about these multiple postings

dh wanted some wine last night but then fell asleep and i had the rest, about FOUR glasses. What an eejit. Especially as he is incapable of anything so i went to get it, forgot my wallet, went all the way home to get it and back to tesco! It was as ifGod and you brave babes were trying to put obstacles in my way but still i managed. Also ate a magnum (i don't even like magnums, too sweet) and a whole wedge of goats cheese. Hmm

venusinthehauntedhouse · 27/10/2010 08:30

Hi dichotomy, yes that stuff about the forbidden fruit is difficult. It's the 'don't think about a pink elephant' thing that immediately draws your mind to it.

I do think that after about 3 weeks (the rough time that it takes to start changing any habit) that the obsession diminishes a lot - still happens, but not so often and not with such intensity.

Also, I think that is why on here we post so much about alternative things - alternative drinks, and alternative activities. Just tryong to cut something out is devilishly hard, whereas replacing it with something else is a ittle easier. But you've really got to work at finding something that you really like. And make sure you have it in the house. If we stick with your dieting comparison, then if you're craving a sticky cream bun, you're not going to be happy with the last (slightly soft) crispbread from the packet topped with a smear of low fat spead. But you might be more satisfied with a bowl of fresh raspberries and strawberries and a scoop of low fat frozen yogurt ice cream.

I have to work hard at it though, I have fresh limes in the house, I have to keep topping up the ice cube tray, I buy tonic / soda in little cans and keep them in the fridge, rather than having the flat warm dregs from an old bottle of tonic.

venusinthehauntedhouse · 27/10/2010 08:42

Ah Christi now I'm just wondering whether you'd have been as selfless if dh had wanted an apple. I bet you'd have started by trying to suggest something that was already in the house (an orange, or maybe some cheese), then you'd have been pretty irritated about the to-ing and fro-ing. And if he'd than fallen asleep before eating it, after all your efforts, you'd probably have rammed the apple down his throat Grin

Ah well. Chalk it up to experience. And tonight? I will not be drinking (or shopping for dh) Grin

WasindieNial · 27/10/2010 08:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WasindieNial · 27/10/2010 08:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

venusinthehauntedhouse · 27/10/2010 09:12

Hmm wasindie we've only been on here a few months but already I think I know you enough to know a little about what usually happens when your dsis comes to visit.

Doesn't read as though you're projecting about tonight, you're planning. 4 bottles of wine ordered and deliverd sounds pretty much like a plan for getting drunk, very drunk. If you were really planning one or two glasses then you'd have bought 2 bottles - one and a half bottles for your dsis, and a couple of glasses for you. And maybe if you thought she'd really want to polish of the best part of the whole 2 bottles, then you'd stick to just one glass, and let her have the rest. But that doesn't seem very likely.

But you know all that wasindie, you are a very intelligent woman. So what are you really going to do? has the time come when you admit your problem to someone other than yourself (iirc you have already told dp about it?) It looks as though you have 3 choices. You either go ahead as planned, get pissed with your dsis and start again on day1 tomorrow. Or you fudge the issue, tell your dsis that you have a headache, or whatever, that you don't really fancy much to drink and then struggle unsupported all evening, teetering on the edge of giving in and getting wasted. Or you level with her (either with or without a drink) and trust that she loves and cares for you enough to be able to support you.

hubbabubbababba · 27/10/2010 09:23

Morning all, hope we are all well, well rested and feeling positive about the day ahead. I am on day 4 of the second time round giving up after getting lulled back into drinking for a week, im so annoyed as it would have been 5 weeks but I'm back to the day counting. I have also come out in some horrendous spots, they are so painful, I can't remember if i had these last time.
I must say a big thank you to everyone who posts on here, having you all battling along with me is such a good support, it really fires me up to read what you all have to say and i know I WILL NOT BE DRINKING TODAY!
And its what me and dh used to call Winesday where we would have a bottle infront of the apprentice, the funny thing is that it is the same as all the other days used to be but Winesday was always the best as it was ok to drink in my head on this one day so there were no guilty feelings....how messed up.

terrifiedincorner · 27/10/2010 09:51

Thanks Venus, I love your posts Smile

I feel predictably awful today. Sitting here trying to work with a strong coffee after downing about a gallon of water (why is drinking fun exactly?). Thing is it was fun in the pub, why couldn't I have stopped there? Ah, that's why I'm lurking on this thread.

I won't be drinking today. Having had 5 days off before last night, I think it will be easier not to drink tonight, and I was enjoying the clear-headed mornings! And do you know I looked a whole lot better even after just a few days sober!

Just want to add my support too for everyone else who has stopped drinking / trying to cut down.

I'll be back next week to get properly on board Smile

goingtotryreallyhard · 27/10/2010 10:01

Morning all :)

Feeling positive today, today is day two - and i know that the rest of the week will be quite easy - its the weekends that are a problem :(

You all seem to have done so well, i am feeling fine today and really forward thinking but i know myself and am intrinsically really weak when it comes to alcohol. Cutting down would be lovely but i dont seem to be able to, just wish i was like normal drinkers.

terrifiedincorner i am looking forward to clearheaded mornings too!

Silver66 · 27/10/2010 10:04

Morning Campers

It' lovely and sunny here and I'm starting day 3 - had my last drink at 2.00am on Sunday night/Monday morning and DP insisted on driving me to work (rightly so) on Monday because I would have been over the limit. Anyway I just wanted to welcome aboard Terrified and Toclear - here are your open tickets - and DON'T lose them!!

venusinthehauntedhouse · 27/10/2010 10:20

Off out to do some work and earn some money. See you later Babes. Have a good day.

loopylouwitchywoo6 · 27/10/2010 10:22

Morning :) well I have just woke up and feel hungover and disapointed, its amazing how puffy my face is first thing after a night on the booze. Today I think I shall buy some nightol and maybe rethink my one on one off theory.

desiretochange · 27/10/2010 10:25

Day flipping 1 for me (again), think I am going to have to become a hermit for a while, don't drink at home but keep finding excuses to visit friend where we will both share wine. Might sound a bit drastic but reckon it's definitely time for me to sort myself out!

Silver66 · 27/10/2010 10:29

Desire - I would say that if you only drink when you go out then stop going out for a while - it's not drastic just sensible - give yourself a couple of weeks headstart before you attempt to go out and not drink - get used to how good you feel sober and that will hopefully give you the impetus to stay sober amongst all those drinkers. Nytol works for me BTW Grin

WasindieNial · 27/10/2010 10:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Silver66 · 27/10/2010 10:31

Sorry the Nytol comment was meant for Loopy - and I think the problem with one night on and one night off is that you will still have alcohol in your body and you are not giving your liver a proper rest - however having said that, one on and one off is still better than drinking every day Grin x

desiretochange · 27/10/2010 10:34

Think you are right Silver, going to have to lock myself away for a while!

Silver66 · 27/10/2010 10:35

wasindie - I tend to say to people that I am not drinking because it stops the medication I am taking from working (which is true!) - no-one has ever questioned me about it or asked in any more detail...just a thought.

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Where are we off to today????

Answers on a postcard please..........[hwink]

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