ahh, backsliding!, i remember it only too well! 
, i tried SOOOOO hard to control my drinking, ha!, bloody joke that was!, i could count the units for a week or so, then think 'oh, arnt i the clever fucker, i can control this' BAM!, back to the beginning again, back to waking up feeling like shit wondering what the fuck i had done, where i had left the car and on occasions my knickers! - i too have that picture in my head, the open fire, the lovley drawing room and a posh glass full of red wine!, these days i move the picture on to reality, me, a big drunk lump on the sofa, smelly, sluring and nasty, that horrid drunken snear on my bloated face - not such a pretty picture after all!
im like venus, i like the decision to made every morning, TODAY I WILL NOT BE DRINKING, it makes life so much simpler!, its true what she says, dont over analyise it, just think about the moment you are living in!, one thing i have learnt on this thread is that im not alone, there must have been about 60 or 70 different posters since we started, just think, all those desperate miserable women out there, just the same as us! this illness is a fucking wanker! mouse has it spot on though, YOU have to want to beat the fucker, it wont let you go without a fight, its not an easy thing to beat, but you can!, so far, i am beating the fucker day by day, it dosnt give up trying to catch me out though, i have to wary, be ready to bash the barstard on the head, i just try and try and try! thats all anyone can do, you just have to want to enough!
im off to bed now, wishing ALL you babes a goodnights sleep! see you in the morning!!
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