The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Carry On Past The Park Bench!

[HammerMouseOfHorrors]

Hello

I'm Mouse and one of the Brave Babes on the Battle Bus.

The bus is never full and you'll find a real mix of people on board, all with the same goal.

To take control of their drinking. Whether that's to stop completely or cut right down.

Everyone is welcome to get on the bus at any point. You will receive a warm welcome and plenty of support.

Some come meet the others.........

The journey so far.

JWN's original thread

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Wasindie - your pants are like red setters?!?!? [hwink]

I have PMd you.

Mouse

Hello!! I've missed you!

Wasindie I have room for a white board .... what is a bring forward filing cabinet though???

Hey you!!! How is the new house and how is your gorgeous DD coping today? Missed you too!

Sorry I've not text, Nemo has kept me busy puking......

Wasindie, I totally get what you mean about how getting hammered is almost like hard work. The weekends I've been too "tired" to put my kids in the bath, fix them some dinner or even remember if they went to bed ok or not. My DP had to do all that whilst I drooled on the sofa, repeating myself and talking complete shite, starting pointless arguments then crashing out somewhere to sleep it off.
It felt like agonising work the next day coping with the physical pain from the horrendous hangover plus the inevitable shame, guilt and self-loathing.
I am always trying to maintain the warm, buzzy, chatty feeling. I always end up drinking until I'm sick, have a blinding headache and have embarrased myself again.

I have given in to a craving and opened a bottle after being stuck two hours on the M25 in the rain. I feel defeated and useless but sort of resigned.

I've got myself firmly back into my familiar pattern of one night on, one night off. And the night on can vary from between one to two bottles, with total weekly units of between 30 and 50. I sit here and don't have a clue really where it's all going to lead tonight and I don't really care. I'm on anti-ds as well and know that for me the combination gets me more high than ever.
I've tried coming off the meds but always crash.

I feel like I'm going around in ever-decreasing circles and haven't a clue this time how I'm going to stop - every time I get to this stage I think I can control it but yet again I'm going to be proved wrong.
I can't tell anyone in RL because I've confided in friends/family before who were all behind me in trying to stop. I've been to the GP and ended up in tears and she reported me to Children, Schools and Families. Last time I took DD to the GP, she had her computer screen pointed squarely in our direction and there was an entry which said "Family a cause for concern". You'd think that would get me trying to sort myself out but it just made me angry. Sorry for ramble and don't know what I'm hoping to hear.

how much you had dipso?

Miflaw, venus, mouse where are you?

dipso are you alone?

dh is so tired and confused! He can't do his freelance work, it's awful to see. Have sent him out for a swim. God i hope he gets better soon i can't shoulder everything i'm finding it tough, sorry for being a wuss.

How you doing dipso?

dipso how crap - 2hours on the road, but you know what. YOU HAVE A CHOICE.

It is your choice RIGHT AT THIS MOMENT whether you take another single sip or gulp from the glass in front of you. Of course part of you wants to - you're an alcoholic - and you're in the twin grip of a bad habit (reaching for a glass of wine to soothe your stress) and a mental addiction.

But there must be SOMETHING on the other side of the argument, or why else would you have posted on here?

Is there any way in which you can be persuaded / encouraged / cajoled / supported / instructed to pour away the drink? If there is then please keep posting here now and for the rest of the evening. Lots of people will come along to help.

dipso, just incase you've missed me harping on about this book!!!
The good thing is that you don't have to stop drinking until you've finished the book!

Here *Christi.

Not sure what to suggest as the post doesn't strike me as a 'STOP ME' post.

Dipso hello [hsmile].

I am going to be very honest here and say that I don't believe for one minute you are ready to stop boozing just yet although you recognise the danger you are putting your family unit in and nothing that any of us can tell you tonight will make you pour the rest away.

Am I right? Do you want to drink because of the day you have had. Or are you going to prove me wrong? I'd like you too.

Your posts screams HELP to me but I'm not sure what I need to help you with.

Why did you have that first one?

What made you 'give in' to it Dipso?

Christi is that 'cos he's back on his meds properly again? May take a wee while for it to settle down - but it will. You have a hell of a lot to deal with at the moment, but still I see you on here helping and encouraging other people. You are lovely.

Christi - yep, you are lovely to be helping others when you clearly have your own needs in RL to deal with. xx

aw that's so sweet might cry now!

Thanks babes... One good thing is that i haven't even thought about drinking as i know it won't help our predicaments... Well haven't yet anyway! Just want to lie down and read my Kate Atkinson

Mouse, you are right. And why did I have that first one? A craving like you can't imagine, or perhaps you can....What made me give in? Knowing for a while that it would salve me like nothing else. But I know what comes after. I'm an intelligent woman, why can't I see sense?

Ex-drinker, thanks so much for the link, I read the book some time ago and was hopeful but so glad it worked for you. Venus, I know I have a choice but I seem to have persuaded myself that I don't and I know I won't stop until the bottle has gone. Would it be easier to accept that I don't want to give up and drink until I get myself into trouble? But I am in trouble!

I'm the most contradictory person imaginable, I want to get where so many of you have got and take responsibility. Thank you so much for posting for me.

So, what next Dipso?

Christi - I love Kate A, which one are you reading?