The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Carry On Past The Park Bench!

[HammerMouseOfHorrors]

Hello

I'm Mouse and one of the Brave Babes on the Battle Bus.

The bus is never full and you'll find a real mix of people on board, all with the same goal.

To take control of their drinking. Whether that's to stop completely or cut right down.

Everyone is welcome to get on the bus at any point. You will receive a warm welcome and plenty of support.

Some come meet the others.........

The journey so far.

JWN's original thread

Thread two

Thread three

Thread four

Thread five

Thread six

Thread seven

Thread eight

Thread nine

Thread ten

Morning babes and blokes,

Mouse have yourself a cry when you need to, I'll be here with tissues and hot chocolate (or cheese fondue?). JWN is right, Nemo is so lucky to have a lioness for a mother but I can imagine its horribly frustrating, scary and GRRRR to be told that you are just on your own. How is that bloody heating grant coming on? Can you yell at someone down the phone for a bit to cheer yourself up [hgrin]

BB welcome aboard - I was the same, first thought every morning was 'stupid woman' but by the end of the day that had changed to 'i need a drink'. I can't say I jump out of bed now but I don't have that horrible feeling.

JWNorZombie daddy please share menus and food ideas. I am a crap cook (actually I might be an incredible chef, its just untested ) so all ideas welcome. I have a fantasy that when I move I will have time to cook tasty and healthy meals for DH and I, something more challenging than 'microwave for 4 minutes'.

Christi glad your DH back on prozac, it sounds like the same experience I had with prozac - although once I had support I could stop taking it ok. hope the docs is helpful next week. And hope DD gets better soon.

dichotomy well donen on two days. the first week is the hardest, honest. once you get into a new pattern of behaviour, it becomes easier.

In terms of your Q's, I only ever posted on this thread to be honest, I was a serial lurker. But now I occasionally post on other threads too and I don't name change. I come from a different perspective in that the support on this board has given me confidence to post elsewhere, so I don't see it as a issue. I've never seen a flaming on this board nor have people used the thread on other threads - I don't think that is allowed is it?

I totally cut alcohol from my life as I knew that it was the only way for me. About a month ago I decided to have one drink and then I thought the wine was lower alcohol, which makes 2 or 3. At which point I realised that my mindset hadn't changed at all. After 8 weeks I had a drink (last week) - 2 glasses of wine with dear friends from overseas that I see every 5 years. It felt right and I was able to stop at 2 - but I can't say it was straightforward. I still haven't worked out my feelings about drinking that night so haven't really posted about it but I am not sure that I am in really ready for it. I hope I will be one day but I don't think it could be every week, perhaps once a month. And then I think what would be the point? Right now it feels safer not to drink.

Gee household is a hive of activity. DD off to nursery, DH packing and DM arriving this pm. DM is a big trigger for me. I love her dearly and she is pretty much my best friend, we talk every day on the phone BUT she is my drinking buddy and we tend to enable each others drinking (I have been very unhelpful to her when she has cut down in the past). Childhood ishoos (although I think she is an amazing mum and g'ma)don't help either - I find it easier to internalise everything and turn it on myself(these are not ishoos that will EVER be resolved or even brought up with my parents). So I am a bit nervous about tonight and not drinking but I hope that a) she might be proud of me not drinking for 9 weeks and b) we will be so busy packing it won't be an issue.

today is my last day in my house and my last day with t'internet. Also, I have rather a lot of deadlines that I am currently avoiding . I'll check back in later but after lunchtime I'll just check messages on my phone, so any posts will be short and sweet. x

sorry for v long post and just to clarify the month ago I didn't drink, the fact that I was already making deals in my head was enough to stop me.

I also can't believe I wrote 'dear friends'. I am not at all posh.

morning all!! - do you know?, i was just putting the washing on the rack, tidied the sitting room from last night etc, i realised i felt so sort of 'light' - this being sober business is bloody marvoulous!! [hgrin]

dichothomy - as far as i know no one from from this thread has been flamed - so far as this thread is concerned, you may get a bit of a nagging and even a slap round the legs now and again, what they wont be for is because you use the wrong coloured loo roll or feed the kids maccie ds for sunday lunch! [hgrin] - the B ALL AND ALL is for us all to get to a sobriety of our choosing and to support each other all the way - i use my usual MN name, i decided form the off that honesty with myself and everyone else was the only way to go, im just an alcholic, nothing to be ashamed of - the shame only arises if you know what you are and deny it and carry on ruining everything around you, in my book, thats just bloody selfish!

anyway - menu for saturday night

homemade chicken liver pate with red onion marmalade

slow cooked lamb shanks in red wine (i think it should be fine as its all cooked out)

dauphinois potatos, glazed carrots and parsnip and garlic mash

sweet pumpkin pie
key lime pie
bramble crahancan

must go and get ready for work!

• I am going to kill pple -

aaaaarrrrrrggggg

Thanks all for your answers!

I remember a time when having a drink was an occasional treat,not the norm, not a part of life - I wish I could go back to that.

I want to be able to drink appropriately ie .. not during the day, not to the point where I pass out on the toilet, not to the point where I say and do things I would usually never dream of and not every week.

I'd like to try getting back to that, and weekends will be my biggest test,It's become a sort of culture to me now - I want to break that cycle.

I saw the landlord from my old local pub yesterday in town, I practically lived in that pub - but have only been in once in the past 4 months, so I know I am capable of breaking habits and cycles. Hope to extend that to my home drinking now.

I'm off to do some more studying for new job, hope everyone has a great day

x posted diabolik, what's up? are you ok?

is it work diabolik? are they being unreasonable again. can you write an email telling them to f off and then delete it? [hgrin]

HI BB and welcome. you sound like me!
Had two beers last night which was bad, but better than a whole bottle of wine which was the previous.
Am coning to the realisation that this is not going to be a short journey, i am facing two challenges. One is the physical cutting down the consumption of alcohol, the other is coming to understand why I do it, and what I think I get out of it. Perhaps the harder challenge of the two as it means facing "ishoos" rather than just saying no to something.
Day 13 aboard Gerald - some progress made, a lot more to go.

diabolik you ok? agree with MsGeepers - write the email then delete.

zombie the menu sounds fab - what's the bramble dish? I always cheat with lamb shanks and crumble a couple of lamb stock cubes into the red wine sauce that and lots of garlic in it. DH not a big fan of lamb shanks - must cook it when parents are visiting and he is london - thanks zombie!

menu for saturday night

no starters cos it's casual

either beef or lamb sag (spinach and tomato sauce) haven't decided which yet, have both - will be fairly spicy

dry gujurati chicken and potato curry (family recipe from FIL) - will be mild though which he would hate (he has no taste buds and douses everything in tabasco...)

dahl - yellow oily dahl i think with garlic and turmeric. Might do a red and orange one too with tomato and mint

okra with onions if I can get any

basmati rice - possibly with saffron through it, not sure yet

rotis

poppadums to have before with mint raita and chutneys / pickles

sounds like a lot but most is bung in the oven and slow cook stuff!

daddy can you cook curries in a slow cooker. I can manage a slow cooker and I don't have to worry about learning how to use a new oven (I am really crap in the kitchen!!).

I want something DD can eat too - gujuarai chicken and potato curry sounds ideal. DD loves garlic (as do I, DH can lump it!) too, so perhaps try her with dahl to... hmmn.

hungry now...

Workload to big + impatient clients + US sales questioning my work.

MsGeepers yes you can cook anything in a slow cooker - but all I do is brown it all off and combine it in a big casserole pot, put it in the big oven at about 170 (it doesn't matter if it's a bit cooler) and leave it for a few hours. the chicken and potato one has to be done in the big oven, on the bottom shelf at about 100 - for about 3 hours but you literally just leave it, it's great.

pm me if you want the recipes unless anyone else wants them and i'll post them here.

diabolik sending you supportive thoughts - all those things on their own are ok but together it's enough to make you flip out.

Monring Babes.

diabolik - go kick something!! [hgrin] Sorry, not helpful. You ok?

Zombie - what time do you want me there on Saturday? Shall I bring cranberry juice for mocktails?

MsGeepers - we have been put to the back of the waiting list, six months, for heating due to the third party surveyor fucking up. Another winter with no proper heating. GGGrrrr!! I've already shouted and writtne to the MD.

No joy.

Christi - I wish there was something you could do to help bless you. I'm so glad that DH is back on his dose too and seeking help with counselling.

It's not for everyone, some find it helps, some don't. Tell him to be kind to himself and to find what works best for HIM.

dich - re your questions......

A) do you use your regular MN name for posting on this thread? has it ever happened that people on this thread get flamed?
or is it generally considered a safe place to post. I hold back on a lot as I'm aware others may read or bring what I say onto other threads.

I use my regular name, and the none Hallowe'en version! No-one has ever got flamed, just a bit of a talking to. This is a totally safe place to post your inner most feelings. I have, as have others. It helps. Post as much or as little as you want.

And can I just say that if anyone did get a flaming on here, I'd be very disappointed as that's not what the Brave Babes are about.

B)Does everybody on here believe that the only way is to cut alcohol from your life alltogether? Is it feasible that I could learn to drink responsibley? or am I just kidding myself?

That's different for everyone. I HAD to stop completely. I tried to cut down and fucked up! Big time. So, I had to stop. I now have the odd glass or two of wine or the odd beer but that's it. I can stop and I do stop.

What's works for me is different to everyone else as Christi has proved last night.

Hey Brave Babes and Bloke
MsGeeYour cooking skills and knowledge sound similar to mine. Good luck with the packing. Your relationship with your Mum sounds lovely. I'm sure if you tell her how much this means to you she will understand.
Mouse Sorry you have been blue. My son has Aspergers not the same I know, but I believe that he was given to me for a reason, and even in the toughest times, especially when he was little, just one look made it all ok. Nemo is blessed to have such a kind, compassionate, patient Mum, who is capable of giving unconditional love and support to a bunch of strangers.Your capacity for love is huge and Nemo will reap the benefits.
Zombie I have been feeling weirdly falt this week, not like me at all. I suspect the seasonal shift and reduced daylight hours can affect some of us more than others IYSWIM
[hsmile] to eveyone else.

Mrs Geepers, you and mouse often say what I would have tried to say.

I cooked Indian last week from the new Madhur Jeffrey book and it took 2 and a half hours. Do I really need to soak and rinse the rice? The rice turned out very badly anyway. What is this curry paste of which I read? Does it mean a lazy way of mixing all the spices? Is it a cheat or is it kosher to use 'curry paste'.

I haven't got an oven! Haven't had one for ages.

one more thing...[hgrin] For me giving up alcohol is like letting a Genie out of the bottle! Now that I have discovered how good life is without it, How much better I feel both physically and mentally. I simply can't go back. I have ruined my relationship with alcohol IYSWIM. Even if I made a rational decision to drink, say Friday night, I would not be able to enjoy it. If the whole point of drinking is relax and enjoy and reward, then the party really is over for me, because there is no way i could relax, or enjoy and it would NOT feel like a reward. i guess knowledge is power and you can't un- learn it [hhmm] Thank you x

nah i never soak and rinse rice - FIL des that and he is always that I d nothing with rice and it's always good - the secret is not to piss around with it or stir it all the time...

i never use curry paste but then i measure by shakes rather than teaspoons - imo if you have ginger, turmeric, cayenne, coriander, garlic, fresh chillies and garam masala you'll be fine. additions of cloves, mustard seeds, onion seeds and few other bits and bobs are all lovely but curry paste is just cheating (it's basically ground spices mixed with oil). what MJ book is it? We have the curry bible which is lovely but doesn't get used very often unless for something like a vindaloo which you need vinegar etc for and i can never remember the proportions!

I am now flipping starving with all this talk of curry [henvy] . . ah well will just have to make do with lovely cardboard crispbread and some philadelphia cheese [hwink]

Grmmmmble -- 3 calls on the same subject wasted over an hour of my time ...

In two minds to call in sick and piss of to the swimming pool ..

Thank you Morticia

MsGeepers - Are you moving today or tomorrow? I missed that bit [hblush]

[hshock] Forthe!!! NO OVEN??!! I'd hate that. When I left my Xcheating violent abusive partner, DD and I ended up in a hostel and the got our house. We had nothing except a microwave, two deck chairs, a mattress and some bedding.

I had no cooker or oven for months and hated it. How on earth do you cope?

Morning everyone. Wow, the food talk is making me so hungry!

I'm going to catch-up in a minute but I just wanted to ask: is this still within the bounds of 'normal'? I'm on day 15 (yesterday I did text DH and ask if I should get a bottle of wine for us to share and he said no, so that was a close shave). I have a crashing headache and I woke up around 11am. I seem to be sleepy and headachy all the time and I can't work out if it's to do with the drink or not.

Sorry for such a boring post.

*LRP& - yes, it sounds like it. Your body is still re-adjusting to the loss of certain chemicals and sugars.

My detox lasted about three weeks in all. Keep hydrated and try to get lots of fresh air for the sleepiness.

I found that I'd drop off in the middle of the day (even is Nemo had had a good night) and want to be in bed by 8-9pm.

LRP even!! [hgrin]

Thanks Mouse! I thought it'd been too long to be still detoxing, so good to know.

Hope Nemo is doing well too!

forthe I am impressed by your lack of oven. When we redid my kitchen a few years back my parents suggest I don't bother getting one and just have a microwave! I do cook for DD though, she has organic salmon cooked in cheese sauce made from scratch. DH and I have beans on toast...

mouse moving tmrw... today is final pack!

in terms of readjusting - I am only through the sugar cravings this week (after 9 weeks). I don't know if its the move and stress but my appetite has finally stabilised and I have stopped being a total pig.

Until this thread of course ... must find food.

ok, logging off now, packing up the office. keep brave lovely babes and blokes xx