Dementedma Well done for yesterday and today so far. Take it minute by minute, hour by hour, whatever it takes.
I found drinking consumed a lot of thinking time but that has lessened over time but I still catch myself doing it. Most often it is 'how come my DH can have one glass of wine with dinner, have a drop more (I mean another quarter glass) then but the cap on and back it goes into the fridge'. I don't begrudge him the wine at all and have no urge to join him now, for today, and tomorrow will be dealt with tomorrow.
I too am driven by targets etc and would hold my hand up to being 'very in control' except with one glass of wine inside me at home. Then it all went out of the window - whatever deal I had made with the drink devil.
Before I stopped completely in June I had another non drinking period earlier this year. I stopped for Lent - old fashioned but I did it because I was worried about how much I drank and it was a way of stopping 'in public' and not having to find other reasons why I wasn't drinking. I spent the 40 odd days quietly obssessed with no of days thinking 'I haven't drunk for so many days, so many days to go or over half way and on the downward slope to Easter Sunday'. Got to Easter Sunday and drank reasonably at big family lunch. Started new regime at dinner with DH of one glass and then cap on bottle. Between Easter and beginning of June this escalated to previous drinking levels - bottle on the go in the kitchen for glass while getting dinner ready, share a different bottle over supper, kitchen bottle again for glass (who am I kidding) while clearing up. I so recognise the descriptions on earlier threads about knocking back a glass while going to top up our glasses, hiding the recycling, secretly urging DH to top up glasses during dinner....
What I had begun to figure out during Lent was that I could manage perfectly well with no alcohol, and what I figured out in the first week or so after was that the first glass of wine was my downfall. For me it has to be no alcohol, just for today.
I can only suggest you try to set your target for today then tomorrow set a target again. It is really easy to think - what about the next 'celebratory event', will I not drink? During Lent I managed a Birthday and Mother's Day and didn't find the celebration any less special. Since June I have been on holiday and did struggle with projecting - my little devil is 'but you never lose it in public so it will be fine to have one glass of champagne' but on the day I found it not too difficult to just say today I will not be drinking.
Don't know if any of this helps you but the bus is always welcoming and others may have more to offer.