The Braves Babes Battle Bus - NOT stopping at the pub!!

[Mouseface]

Hello

I'm Mouse. I've been sober for over a month now, thanks to the support of posters on this and previous threads.

No matter where you are up to with your sobriety, you'll find someone here who has been in your shoes!

Come and meet the other Brave Babes........

And here are the other threads for those who want to read them.

JWN's original thread (and the reason we are all here!)

Thread two

Thread three

Thread four

Thread five

Thread six

Morning Thought What a great way to start your day. Just for today, keep on not buying it, have a nice one.

Hi wasindie how are you doing? Why were you feeling defensive - did you think we were going to give you a hard time, or were you already doing that yourself? Did you think you deserved a drink after so many days without, or after a rough day with you little ones? Well YES you have done marvellously and you DO desrve a special treat, in fact lots of special treats. You deserve lots of lovely things. I am just not sure that for me drinking a bottle of wine is the best way to reward myself, treat myself or be kind to myself. have a sweet day with those babes x

How are you doing toady Mouse? Hope you slept well (and long).

Busy evening on here yesterday wasn't it. I can remember one evening a few weeks ago when I came on and there were loads of people tumbling and crashing. I felt so helpless and hopeless. I knew that in reality there was nothing that I could do to stop others from drinking, that had to be their decision. I felt like King Canute, shouting at the tide to go back, when I knew that all my shouting was not what controlled the tide.

I also learned how exhausting that evening was. It was another mountain in facing how out of control I'd been in my own drinking life and I felt as though i was fighting my own demons that evening along with everyone elses. I also learned how important it felt for me, myself to keep on with this. It is important for ME, I am the only person that I can keep sober. So little Mouseface please be especially kind to yourself today. You are such a star, and another wonderful example of someone determined to turn their drinking around. x

Hello

I just wanted to say I'm a lurker and bloody well done to the lot of you!

I'm not an alcoholic but I over indulge and reading this thread on Friday and Saturday nights means I don't reach for that 'last' glass of wine. It's made a difference.

I just thought I'd say that because we lurkers are not all at a desperate stage. In my case I am aware I need to cut down for my health and be careful it doesn't escalate (I prob consume about 30/40 units a week so it's not great but rarely drink enough to have a hangover). I'm able to cut down fairly easily but I need reminders. So thanks for sharing.

That's all folks, as you were!

Morning double.

Monring all.

Thank you venus. I remember that night too. I felt like I was shouting at everyone to stop last night. It's very much a case of......

'Der, don't you get it? Just stop drinking, stop bleating on about how hard it is, how shit your life is and just STOP!'

And then I remember that I was that person before August 2nd. Scared to stop. Scared to lose my crutch. My blanket.

Funny, I don't feel that way now that I have stopped. I feel clean. I feel brave and I feel fresh!

Well, normally!

Nemo has been up all night on and off so I feel super hungover. A hangover without a drop!!! Ha!! Who'd have thought?

Hello proudnsad

Morning lovely Double

MIFLAW - glad you are here today. I wondered if you'd appear, 'as if by magic'! I should re-name you the shopkeeper!

Thats just it Mouse "Just stop drinking, stop bleating on about how hard it is , how shit your life is and just STOP "

That is my view and I need a better understanding of why that logical view is unable to prevail over opening the first bottle of wine.

I am going to ring AA today or at least I hope I am. I am not scared to stop what scares me is that I cant seem to

thought

But if you WANT to stop then you WILL. Same as if you WANT to drink, you WILL.

Okay, a bit of tough love.

If you were told that drinking one more glass of wine would kill you, right there, on the very spot you stood, would you drink one?

Would you have the glass of wine?

Cos really, that is the worst that will happen if you don't stop.

If you do stop, what is the worst that will happen?

hi everyone!!!, a bright and breezy JWN here! , even though i have been up dancing till dawn!!

woah!, there was a bit of 'traffic' last night! , i just want to tell everyone that who ever you are, what ever you do, what family set up you have - if you KNOW (and you do, deep down, dont you!) that you have a problem with alcohol there is a solution!, YOU STOP DRINKING IT!! every post i read on here is written by a strong, intelligent, bright, warm, loving person!

every day you can add sober to the above list will only enhance all those traits!!

i drank for many years, for a lot of them i thought i was in control, it escalated, i knew i 'might have a bit of a problem', it escalated, i knew 'i drank too many units', it escalated, i had an idea that 'i wasnt very happy, it escalated, i htought my marriage was a 'getting a bit pants', it escalated, then one horrible night, a night i can only remember pieces of, i very nearly lost everything i hold most dear - my husband walked out, my daughter told me that i was a 'sick bitch' and my mother told me that 'she had had enough' of me.

fancy losing everything and not even remembering why! what a fucking pathetic thing to do!

i wouldnt wish those feelings of utter misery, degredation, loneliness, humiliation and unhappiness on my worst enemy (well, i would, but he is the inland revenue man! )

so, dont feel you are posting 'negative vibes', dont feel you have to be constantly upbeat, dont set yourself silly goals, just keep posting, a day at a time!

Morning JWN you dirty stop out!!!

Hello SAF.

After reading your post, how would you feel about NOT drinking this afternoon? Or do you think that would be 'noticed' more than if you drink?

Hi JWN, tell all about your wonderful evening - great food? funny conversation? arriving home feeling tired but elated?

swallowed - that was a really honest post!, i will return the compliment! no, 'normal' people dont swig wine while their child waits on the garden path - we arnt 'normal' though, we belong to a not very exclusive club, anyone can join, they just have to say the words 'i am an alcoholic'!

just say it!, dont over think it, dont try and find a reason for it - just admit it!

i can honestly say that the moment those words came out of my mouth i felt a kind of liberation - no more worrying about the next drink, no more worrying about how much is in the house by the time the shops shut, no more worrying that other people would get 'my share' at the dinner table. god, its lovley to just eat a meal, have a chat, drive home, wake up in teh morning with no horrible feelings of guilt and embrasment, no mouth like ghandis flip-flop, clothes not spoilt cos i feel over in them (or was sick! )

sometimes i find it quite hard to say no, but i find that the feelings of resentment are fading, i enjoy this feeling of healthyness, happiness and sheer joy of being alive!

venus!! it was dead lovley!

big band in a marquee, posh frocks, sparkly lights, wonderful food, hot and cold running champagne!, which looked lovley on teh tables in big silver ice-buckets, i had special cocktails made up for me by the wine-waiter who had been pre-warned, made me feel very special and i felt was a really kind gesture from my friends (i do know it was meant with the best intensions!)

so, danced the night away, had a good laugh, drove home at about 4 this morning!

Thought go on ring AA, it may be the very thing for that will help you when you say you "can't seem to stop" and you won;t know if you dont try it. Did you like alcohol the first time you tried it? Probably not, it takes sour and harsh, but I bet you persevered until you learned to like it.

There are some really practical things that help: 1) don't buy the wine in the first place, it really is madness to want to try to stop but then have all the temptation sitting in front of you, especially if you but something you really like and put the bottle of white in the fridge to get it just how you like it. 2) just delay opening the wine and having the first drink. Do ANYTHING to delay that first drink, come on here for 15 minutes, do a crossword puzzle, get out of the house, have a bath. And if that worked then do it all over again. Another 15 minutes on here, another crossword puzzle, have another bath. 2 baths in an evening may seem madness, hell 10 baths in an evening would seem madness, but not such madness as drinking a poison that you think you want to stop drinking. Who cares if having 10 baths shrivels your skin, it will survive. heating all that water will cost money? Not as much as it will cost to keep on boozing.

swallowed - people that know they arnt alcoholics dont have to think about the question - the very fact that you 'are not sure' shows that you actually proberbly know that you are!

semantics anyway, the point is, you are unhappy with your drinking - so today

WE WILL NOT BE DRINKING!

simples!

sorry, have to go - i have to go into the bloody office!, on a sunday!, im not going with a good grace!

stamps feet!!

see you all later!

Hi SAF, I posted this yesterday (sorry to repeat myself)

"I too would like to imagine that in the future I might drink in a controlled way, but you know even in saying that I recognise that there is something not quite right. My sister is a very moderate drinker, my best friend can knock back a lot but neither of them have to 'control' their drinking. They either just have a drink or they don't. They can stop at one, or two or have more, but it is not a struggle for them. I CAN stop at one. But it is such a struggle (and I always rewarded myself handsomely the next day). Maybe after some time, I too will be like my sister and I will be 'cured'. But I am not like that at the moment.

Similarly, when I have 'given up' drinking for a defined period. It has been tortuous. I have tormented myself on a daily basis, counting the days until I could have a drink again. And then feeling OK to let my hair down because I'd 'managed' not to drink for x weeks, so that proved that I didn't have a problem. yeah, yeah

So today, I have decided not to have a drink, and I feel OK about that. Tomorrow? who knows. But I have now had a lot of days when I've continued to make that decision, and that feels OK too. It feels very OK."

Only you can decide what you will do this afternoon at the BBQ, and only you can decide whether you have a problem with alcohol, but I have found, that for today, I funtion better when I am sober, yes even in social situations that I HATE.

SAF - that is what I did. I cut back, night by night, but then had to stop because I knew I would never be just a one or two glass per night kinda Mouse!

So, I think if you can drink less just for today, great.

Don't over think it. Just see what happens.

Also SAF if you can go to a BBQ where there is loads of booze freely available over a long period and have 'not too much' without feeling really, really stressed then you are much better at the controlled drinking than I was. Honestly that would have been a nightmare of temptation for me.

So what might you tactics for 'not drinking too much' this afternoon be? Will you agree with yourself a quantity that is not too much - one glass, two glasses, four glasses? And will you stick to that (and maybe reduce the number of glasses if you know the volume is bigger). Will you start with soft drinks then move on to your allowed booze, or will you start with the booze and then stop and move on to soft drinks?

I know you said it will be noticable, I thought that too and my first trial was people coming for dinner. I had a glass of wine poured which I then took away and tipped down the sink (MIFLAW would say it is a very dangerous tactic to pretend at drinking, but it got me through that dinner sober). Since then I have noticed that after THEY have had the first drink other people don're really notice whether I am drinking or not. And thay also don;t care whether I am socialising with them or not. As far as they are concerned, they are the life and soul of the party.

Please don't disappear today, and don't think we are getting on your case. Just trying to help you think through your options for this afternoon.

First things first.

I name changed last night because I didnt want the MNers on my usual thread to find out that I have a problem with drinking

After reading through the posts in the last couple of hours I think I am better off baring all and prioritising dealing with this especially as I seem to have the bit between my teeth for the first time in ages.

SAF I have been telling myself I am not an alcoholic for years because I only drink in the evenings and to the naked eye my life is well ordered etc . However when I completed a list of questions on the AA website I came away knowing I am borderline heading towards definetly if I take account of my drinking througout my life. I can be positive about the fact some of the questions I would have said yes to 3 years ago I no longer do.

I think that is what I have been resting on really that my drinking is so much better therefore I dont need to worry. But I look around me at my social circle and plenty of them are way over "safe" levels but as others have said they take or leave a drink. Enjoy a big night out but think nothing of days without a drop,not counting every day running a tally. I dont know anyone who sits every single day and downs at least one bottle of wine. I dont WANT to be that person anymore.

Thanks Mouse and Venus for your posts. Tough love is more useful to me and this thread is great because you can be brutally frank without worrying about it. Quite so Venus I have been to the supermarket and averted my eyes from those aisles and please let me have the strength to not get in my car and pop to the late shop.

Here are some of the excuses I may use to delay yet another day :

Last day of the school holiday fresh start tomorrow
Start on Monday
Start the day I could get to an AA meeting if thats the way I go.
Etc

Its so good to read your different stories and know I am not alone even though I knew that before iyswim?

ps I was Thought