The Braves Babes Battle Bus - NOT stopping at the pub!!

[Mouseface]

Hello

I'm Mouse. I've been sober for over a month now, thanks to the support of posters on this and previous threads.

No matter where you are up to with your sobriety, you'll find someone here who has been in your shoes!

Come and meet the other Brave Babes........

And here are the other threads for those who want to read them.

JWN's original thread (and the reason we are all here!)

Thread two

Thread three

Thread four

Thread five

Thread six

Mouse, my question was general. I feel as if each weekend it's getting worse. I have already made a big twat of myself with family (my daughter's 3rd birthday in Jan..I know... but I still can't face giving up.
The feeling I used to get from being drunk is not as strong or as "good" as it used to be, despite predictably the volumes increasing.
I am scared about how bad things could get if I continue.
I am also terrified of stopping altogether.

Thanks pav xx

Venus - great post, they are probably the exact reasons that persuaded me to hop on board. Thanks to you all

Hang in there Munky. Hope the palpitations have eased. x

Luci

There is nothing more scary than stopping drinking. Losing your blanket.

What do you do then? What will your crutch be? How will you cope, sleep or function?

YOU WILL CARRY ON AND YOU WILL SURVIVE.

Trust me, I went from 90+ units a week to fecking ZERO!!!!! Zero!!! Dear God!!

Never in a million years did I think I would just stop.

But I did. As did others and you can to. If you want to. It really is that easy. Just stop.

One day. Stop.

Don't pick up that first drink. We all have 'reasons' to drink, get pissed. I can give you lots..... or excuses. Whatever.

Ask yourself this and read it back sober......

Do you like who you are drunk?

Do you know who you are drunk?

Do your family like you drunk?

Can you see me the benefits of drinking over not drinking?

BTW - I'm being harsh as I think sometimes we ALL bloody need a kick in the pants.

IF you want to stop drinking then just stop.

IT IS AS SIMPLE AS THAT! DO NOT PICK UP THAT FIRST DRINK!!!!

Hi munky, you are posting exactly the things I have said and done. Sometimes I felt so lonely and isolated by my drinking, yet here we are a bunch of women who have alll been doing the same.

Lucil do nt worry if you are not ready to stop yet. When we have something like this that we have depended on for so long, physically and mentally, it can take a lot of preparation to get to the stage where it feels like the right decision. And I guess some people never get there. I really hope that you do at some atge, becuase we both know that the alternative isn't good. Please just keep coming back here. Post and tell us how you are and what you're doing. Can you tell us anything about how you drink currently - is it in the evening after the kids have gone to bed? or during the day? I am self employed and work from home so I had got into the habit of having a 'nice lunch'. You can imagine what that involved.

I have tried to control my drinking many times before, and I got to this point this time after my dp had been away for a week. I had drunk so much while he was away. It was disgusting. And i felt so, so ill. the day he came back I was shaky and sick and it was quite a relief not to drink. I know this thread was on mn, but I'd not dared to read it (so you are braver than I am). I have found it a great relief to be able to be honest on here. There have been some conversations we've had on here about the things we've done, the risks we've taken, then number of units we've drunk, the amount of money we've spent... None of which I could even have admitted to myself if it had not been for this thread.

Keep coming back and reading and maybe one day, or maybe even just for oone hour, one for fifteen minutes you might want to join us and not havea drink. It can start anywhere and anytime you like.

I'm drunk now
I've been drinking every night
not as much as I used to but still...

I will be back
I'm sorry

Hey lovely Triple

You have been my thoughts.

Take good care. xxxxx

Hi Trin, come back when you feel ready, or stay and talk to us now. It might help tokeep your hands busy

Lovely to see you around here anyway.

So many of the thought processes and ways of rationalising ones drinking have gone through your heads too then.

I am drinking tonight but I will be back and thats even if I am drinking tomorrow , think I will reread posts maybe it will be enough to take that first step

Mouse, you are right. Sometimes a kick up the jacksy is what is needed.
Venus, I drink to deal with anxiety, boredom and ironic as it sounds, depression. I think drinking makes it worse. Monday mornings after a weekend of steady drinking and being on my own with the kids are usually my lowest point mood-wise.
DP often leaves a can of beer from the night before (3/4 full) and I have been known to drink it at 9 o'clock in the morning for reasons I don't understand myself.
Generally I am a Frid-Sund binge drinker.
I just cannot stop drinking easily once I've started.
My children are very young but if I don't sort my act out sooon they're going to start to notice mummy always has a drink in her hands.
It's all getting out of hand. I don't want to totally fuck up my lives and those of my kids and partner.
They deserve better.
Am going to follow this thread very carefully and try and gain some of your amazing strength and willpower.
Thank you for reading.

Thought I have just been back and read your much earlier post about stopping drinking / controlled drinking.

I too would like to imagine that in the future I might drink in a controlled way, but you know even in saying that I recognise that there is something not quite right. My sister is a very moderate drinker, my best friend can knock back a lot but neither of them have to 'control' their drinking. They either just have a drink or they don't. They can stop at one, or two or have more, but it is not a struggle for them. I CAN stop at one. But it is such a struggle (and I always rewarded myself handsomely the next day). Maybe after some time, I too will be like my sister and I will be 'cured'. But I am not like that at the moment.

Similarly, when I have 'given up' drinking for a defined period. It has been tortuous. I have tormented myself on a daily basis, counting the days until I could have a drink again. And then feeling OK to let my hair down because I'd 'managed' not to drink for x weeks, so that proved that I didn't have a problem. yeah, yeah

So toady, I have decided not to have a drink, and I feel OK about that. Tomorrow? who knows. But I have now had a lot of days when I've continued to make that decision, and that feels OK too. It feels very OK.

Lucil I also find that drinking really lowered my mood. A physical consequence of having a hangover, and also a depressant.

Do you feel as though drinking at the weekend is a reward for not drinking during the week? Can you plan some other ways to reward yourself? Could you contemplate not drinking on a Sunday so you are fresh for Monday morning? Or could you contemplate not drinking on Friday and reducing it to Saturday and Sunday? Or if you start at lunch time, can you dely starting drinking by a couple of hours? Could ou start each 'drinking session' with 2 big glasses of soft drink?

Try them all out, experiment, find out what works for you. And have fun doing it.

Luci and others......

So don't start.

Drinking because you are depressed. Ah, that old chestnut. And so the spiral begins.

You drink because you have had a bad day, the bills have arrived, DCs are being a pain, DH is driving you nuts, work, hormones etc etc etc.

So easy to pick up that first drink and let the blanket of alcohol soothe the day away.

Ah.

And then what? You need more to feel numb. More to ease the ache, the pain. More to switch off.

Life is hard. Drinking to get through life is harder.

Sorry. Maybe it's time I said goodnight. I don't want to get all hard ass but it really is this simple.........

DO NOT PICK IT UP. DO SOMETHING ELSE.

Time for me to go for tonight. I can see myself going round in circles.

Be safe Babes and be gentle on yourselves. xx

Lots of great posts. Tough and gentle support and encouragement!

I am still harbouring a 'cured' hopeful. Hell she even bought two bottles of my favourite wine for the cupboard this week - because it was on offer you understand. However I decided they could stay in the cupboard.

Night Mouse, hope you get a good rest.

Lucil, just to be clear, I am not encouraging you to drink , and mouse's post is spot on.

But if you can't face the weekend tottaly without a drink, then work out which bits you can start to cut out.

Sleep well Mouse. You're fab x

Good decision pav. The cupboard needs them more than you do.

That bloody cupboard - can take it or leave it you know!!

Anyway - I have had more than enough quinine for one night. Lovely to chat tonight with you ALL. Take care. x

Thank you for the supportive replies. Goodnight to all.

"Just a general question. How did you know when enough was enough?
Was there a defining, shitty moment when you thought "I can't do this anymore"?
I am so in awe of you on this thread. I haven't got the courage/balls to even try to stop drinking right now."

Lucil

It's mutual.

I honestly wouldn't have the courage to drink a single drink now, let alone fucking loads.

You are clearly a very strong person - physically and mentally - to drink that way.

Incidentally, I would say the fact you're on here makes me think you've already had your defining moment, as long as you're prepared to accept it.

"Am going to follow this thread very carefully and try and gain some of your amazing strength and willpower." Don't follow me then - I don't use willpower. Willpower (aka defiance) was what KEPT me drinking, not STOPPED me drinking.

Surrender was what stopped me. I put my hands up, got out of the ring and walked away - and, do you know, a drink has never followed me yet? The only fights I've had with alcohol have been the ones I've started.

Lucil

Last point ...

"I am also terrified of stopping altogether."

Why? What do you honestly believe is going to happen?

Morning.

I think I will leave off the endless mental analysis about the subject and just keep it nice and simple.

I have no alcohol in my house and just for today I will keep it that way.